Post # 1
I got married in June. A good friend attended and sat herself in the second row behind where the bridesmaids would sit. Now I would have thought friends would sit further back and leave the front rows for close family. We only had 60 guests & it was not a church wedding. This “friend” looked bored or down right pissed off. I would not have known that but her miserable face was glaring out behind us in every photo of us taking our wedding vows!
After the ceremony when I was greeting everyone & we were having drinks before the photos were taken she said it would have been better if I had put the correct time on the invitations,moaned about how they would not have come so early and LOUDLY accused me of having “one of your senior moments”. I had put the time the events schedule said guests should arrive and ended up defending myself. I had come out after our vows so happy and on cloud 9 then straight away she made me feel angry and embarassed.
Her husband is older grumpy and bald and after ten years of marriage she is celibate!
I have been with my husband for 3 and 1/2 years and we are still so in love and passionate with each other. He is very tall strong and handsome. i have noticed that she often says stuff to try and make me look stupid or embarassed in front of him but have let it go. Her husband says it won’t last when we are affectionate.
Is she jealous or just plain mean?
I wrote to her telling her how what she said on my wedding day made me feel but she has ignored it.
I think maybe I am better off without a “friend” like that. I just don’t understand it at all
Post # 3
@Carolekins: i would say maaaaybe jealousy – but more that she is just miserable in her own marriage. having said that – its NOT a good friend to bring you down just because she isnt enjoying her life!!!! that would be like saying bad things to a friend who got a promotion just because you dont like your own job.
a true friend would be happy for you and not make any nasty comments – ESPECIALLY on your wedding day – the happiest day of your life!!!!
she sounds a bit bitter and nasty and id start avoiding her if possible 🙁
Post # 4
ps congrats on your wedding !! 🙂
Post # 5
I certainly hope you don’t project some of the negative things you say about both of them here – i.e., her husband’s appearance. I suspect you just included that here to make a point, but I figure I need to cover all of my bases in addressing your question. If she feels she’s being looked down on, you’re going to trigger self-defense and jealousy.
I’ve been there, done that with the jealous friend at a wedding. I remember being so hurt when I received my wedding video and saw my ‘best’ friend (we had something of a falling out shortly before the wedding) openly blabbing throughout the ceremony, then bursting into laughter and covering his face when our officiant made a mistake. Jealousy’s an ugly color, baby, and ain’t nobody got time to watch someone wear it.
I’d distance myself from this buddy. People like this are just going to bring you down. It’s one thing to be cheesed off about what time to get somewhere – it’s another to bring it up ON the bride’s wedding day. Or right after she got married. It’s passive-aggressive and hurtful and serves no purpose. What are you supposed to do, go back in time and rectify it?
She and her husband sound like they both have problems. Honestly, I’d probably end the friendship. Mostly because I’ve been in boats like this before and no matter how many times you pander to the person’s ego or try to boost them up, they have to boost themselves up. Or at the very least, they have to learn how to handle jealousy like adults and not wrestle down the egos of everyone else around them. Again, it can’t be your responsibility to do that.
Going off the radar is probably the best way to send the message loud and clear: you aren’t a good friend. Have a good life and good-bye.
Post # 6
@nearlymarriedlass: Thanks, I think you are right. I sort of expected or hoped for an apology or explanation but as she has ignored it I think maybe she only wanted me as a friend when I was on my own and she could flaunt her( or should I say her husbands) 4 bedroomed house, boast about his own business and all the clothes ,jewellry and new cars he bought her.
That has all gone now & they are hard up. Her gravy train has been derailed. They do not seem to be happy together at all, so she now has nothing she can boast about.
Seeing me so happy seems to rub salt into her wounds.
I reckon I am best staying clear of her in future.
Post # 7
@Carolekins: honestly, i wouldn’t bother with her anymore.
negativity can be toxic and you don’t want that in your life. she’s just trying to taint your happiness. misery loves company.
Post # 8
@CookieCreamCakes: Yes that does not sound good that I put negative remarks about her husband’s appearance. It was more to make the point (I personally do not worry about looks, a lovely personality is way more important) but she complains about him and she says how he looks is repulsive!
I just got lucky finding a handsome one with a lovely nature.
I have always tried to boost her confidence and show her kindness, consideration and support anytime she has had upsets or problems (which is often) and focussed on her good points. I have been there for her more times than I can count.
Maybe that should have been a red flag that she had so many problema with her kids, her husband, his kids and her inlaws?
Post # 9
This person does not sound like a friend. No one attacks a bride immediately after her wedding and accuses her of having “a senior moment!” Definitely not a “friend” move.
Congrats on your marriage – I would suggest you start your new life witha new set of friends, without this one.
Post # 10
@mypinkshoes: Thanks you are so right there!
Post # 11
She’s mean! You definatley don’t need friends like her!
Post # 12
- Wedding: March 2012 - Father's Vineyard Church/ A Touch of Class Banquet Center
I would never dream of treating a friend like that on their wedding day!! I’m so sorry that she was a dark cloud on what should have been a completely happy and blissful day. It’s clear that she has some kind of issue with you, whether she is jealous or just unhappy, she NEVER should have acted like that. I think you handled it wonderfully and that you should look at whether or not the relationship is beneficial to you in any way. If not, then you should end it. You shouldn’t have to worry about her or her husband making stupid snarky remarks to you.
Post # 13
Surround yourself with people who are positive, and you will find you’re much happier. If you are around negative people, you will tend to project negativity, which in turn will draw more negativity to you. If you are around positive people, you’ll tend to project positivity, which again will draw more positivty to you.
We make choices every day about what we are going to let into our lives, and that affects everything.
If you have to question whether this woman is a friend, then you already know the answer in your heart. With true friends, you never have to ask that question.
Post # 14
@nearlymarriedlass: hit the nail on the head IMO
Post # 15
@Carolekins: Um yeah… sounds like she’s just a negative person to be around. Whatever her motivation, you don’t need that crap.
Post # 16
Okay, just puttoing it out there, but on your initations, what time did you list and what time did your ceremony start? Because you’re making it sound like there was a distinct time difference. Also, for “a good friend” you are SUPER judgey and full of put downs. Just saying. You’re pulling in things like making rude comments about her husband’s appearance, and actually seem to be elated by her financial misfortune.
I can’t help but get the vibe from you’re posts that you’re the nasty friend here.