Post # 1
I have a friend who I’m currently not speaking to. She has hurt me deeply but somehow she always manages to turn everything around and make herself the victim. We have both been in 5 yearlong relationships with our bfs. She has always made comparisons btw our relationships. She would always say things like- your bf will want to get marry once my bf proposes and stuff like that. Well the day I got engaged I called her to tell her the news and she reacted so cold and cero interested in the matter. Turns out she already knew I was getting engaged and told all my friends, even people at my work knew…I lost the chance to break the news to everyone. I had found out that she told everyone I know a very deep delicate secret of mine and her reaction to me finding out was-I made a mistake get over it. To “make up for it” she wanted to gather our girlfriends together to take me out for a drink well she planned it at a bar where they play Asian porn on TV and have vintage arcade games. Other than that it’s fun, but it is a guy place mostly. I’m a very girly girl and she knows I dislike that kind of stuff. Her other friend who’s never liked me put my ring up against a light to stare at it. It made me so uncomfortable. I told them I was upset with them for talking about my private life with others and telling everyone I was going to get engaged. I told them I needed time and space. Turns out they deleted me from FB. Every weekend they invite all our friends to do stuff with them and have alienated my group from my Fiance and I. They tell them it’s dumb that we make such a big deal about getting married bc we already live together. Should I even consider being friends with this girl again? Is there any reason why girls act that way when it comes to others getting engaged besides just being a little jealous? They are mad at us bc my bf proposed a week before her bf had planned on proposing to her. But what does this have to do with me? My bf felt it was the right time for us and did it. He got the ring 3 month before. I couldn’t have asked for a more special/romantic moment for us. But it hurts me so much to see how unhappy people are for us. They are being so fake. Some people have not even called us to congratulate us.
Post # 3
Of course you shouldn’t be friends with her anymore. Drop her like bad habit.
Post # 4
Google “toxic friendships” seems like she fits the bill.
Nothing about this girl makes her even sound like a “friend” much less a bridesmaid!
I was in a similiar situation with my ex-best friend. She was jealous of me, pure & simple. There’s really not much to it other than that. Anytime I had a boyfriend, she would flip out. Once, she went to my boyfriend & told him I said I didn’t even think he was that cute. HUH?! She would also tell guys I was “bad news” & to “stay away from me” But considering she’s 26 years old & has never had a boyfriend…well, you see where those lies come from.
Sounds just like your friend. She was highly manipulative & lived a double life. She turned a whole bunch of people against me, & I didn’t want to get caught up in the drama so I just let it be. I figured, if these people want to believe her, then let them, if they know me, then they will eventually figure out who’s company doesn’t drain them & stress them out to no end. & that’s exactly what happened. Slowly, our mutual friends started coming to me saying they see how fake & crazy she is now. I think had I made a big deal & tried to defend myself to everyone, she would have LOVED that & it would have just been fuel for the fire.
I ended our friendship 3 years ago, which put her in therapy. & she finally fessed up in saying that she “plotted against my happiness.” Completely nuts!
Now from time to time, she will text me & try to rekindle our friendship. Last one I got a few weeks ago was she heard I was engaged & was happy for me–yeah right! She couldn’t even stand it if a guy looked at me for too long if we were out at a bar.
Lose this girl–trust me, it’s not worth it! Imagine what she would do if she were a bridesmaid on your big day that’s ALL ABOUT YOU & not her! My ex-best friend threw a fit & cried & caused a scene one year when I had a large birthday party…I cringe when I think ‘what if she & i were still friends & she were in my wedding?’ YIKES.
Post # 5
@cocomo: She is toxic, hateful, and will make your wedding hell. Do NOT befriend her, do not invite her to the wedding. Block her on FB, block her number on the phone and move on with real friends.
Post # 6
I’ve read both of your posts, my opinion is that its more then jealousy and you should get rid of these toxic friends for good. they are not true friends. A real friend will be happy for you no matter what, even if she’s a bit jealous of something happening to you.
These people took your moment away from you, and want to make everything about them. They are tackless, rude and selfish.
Post # 7
If there is even a question in mind of whether or not she is your friend, then absolutely do not consider her as a Bridesmaid or Best Man.