Post # 1
So I have this good friend who I’ve been friends with for along time. Well over the years she’s said or done things that have made me and a few others question if she’s gay. She’s never had a boyfriend or has really been interested in anyone before. Me and my other friends use to giggle over boys and would talk about the ones we would like and she would sit and just listen. Years ago we played this game who would you want to kiss at our school and she responded does it have to be a boy or girl in which we responded to in silence. She went off to college and came back with her hair cut to boyshort hair. Also I remember growing up were she’d try and tickle me or say you look pretty today. My mom notcied from pictures when we were kids that in the picture she’d be looking at me with this weird look about her. My mom was the one who actually asked me if she was gay. When I started dating her brother she got really mad and upset. And every time I would mention a boy she would look mad and say I don’t have any boy stories. (she’s never had a boyfriend.)
Is this all in my head? Is she gay or bi and afraid to tell me? Or is she socially akward and I just need to be a good friend? Any advice would be helpful. I don’t care if she is I just want everything to be ok between us again.
Post # 3
She might be gay. I suggest you don’t bring it up with her, though… she will tell you when it’s time. By the sounds of it, you weren’t great friends w. her to begin with.
Post # 4
I don’t think it really matters… You just need to be a good friend either way.
Post # 6
We still are great friends and still will be if she is gay. I was just wondering what’s going on and is she to afraid to tell me.
Post # 7
@buggaboo6: May I ask why it matters? If you guys were really good friends then she would tell you. Maybe she has better things to do with her time than to obsess over men.
Post # 8
@buggaboo6: She might be afraid to tell you. Who knows how people will react to that sort of thing? FI’s best friend/one of his GMs is gay, but has NEVER come out to Fiance (he came out to me years ago, though). Fiance knows, Groomsmen knows he knows, but doesn’t want to come out and say it. I say, love and support her like you normally would, and she’ll tell you (if she is) when she’s ready.
Post # 9
She may be. I think if you want to be a really good friend to her, just make it very clear that you care about her and love her for who she is, no matter what. If she is gay, and can trust that you’re a “safe zone,” a person who won’t judge her, she may have the courage to come out to you.
Years ago, a friend came out to me and told me that she was attracted to me. Poor girl was shaking, terrified I’d reject her as a friend – she knew I was straight so she wasn’t really expecting me to reciprocate. I told her she was important to me and while I was straight that didn’t mean she had to be, and that I was flattered that she found me attractive and I hoped she could find a girl to be happy with. We stayed friends for a long time, and her harmless little crush on me faded.
Post # 10
I would let her tell you in own her time and in her own words…coming out is a very big deal so if she’s not ready to tell you it’s okay, just be a friend.
Post # 11
It’s possible that she is and is just afraid to come out. My sister is gay, well, she is in love with a woman and hasn’t really figured out if she is gay, or if she is just in love with this one person, without taking into account her gender. Anyway, I think anymore it’s just something that a person has to figure out before they can explain it to anyone else. Just be a good friend, let her know that you’re her friend and you love her no matter what. It made me sad that my sister was afraid to come out at first, but I hugged her and told her I thought she was amazing, and brave, and so courageous to just be who she is. Just talk to her, but don’t push. Maybe she isn’t ready.
Post # 12
@buggaboo6: Don’t assume anything. Just be her friend. If she ever wants you to know her sexual orientation, one way or the other, she will tell you.
Post # 13
It sounds like shes gay, but afraid to say it. It also seems to me that she likes you.
Post # 14
I think you need to decide how you want to proceed if she is or isn’t. If she is, you have to deal with that. If she isn’t, you seem to have a weird crappy friendship where she just gets mad at you a lot for no reason. Hard for an outsider to make the call. Are you ok with her being gay? I know this could turn controversial, but if you aren’t ok with it, you need to be prepared ahead of time so you don’t hurt her (especially if you are involved in her family still and dating her brother). Personally, this wouldn’t bother me. I have many bi-gay friends and it does not affect my life how they choose to live. I think you need to know how to proceed before you talk to her. (I don’t think you should ask- friends of mine say they needed to do it on their own time.)
Post # 15
I’m not trying to start drama or make ppl mad I was just asking for advice. She’s been distant lately and I don’t know why. She’s still a good friend of mine and we get along great.
Post # 16
She might be gay, she might be asexual, or she might be a socially awkward latebloomer. Regardless of what her preferences are, it really shouldn’t matter if you’re good friends, should it?