(Closed) Is the groom supposed to come to the bridal shower?

posted 8 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
1940 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

It might depend on the region where you live.  I guess I wouldn’t be surprised if the groom came for a little bit at the end or if he didn’t.  I think it’s up to the couple.

Post # 4
Member
250 posts
Helper bee

My daughter is having a Co-Ed shower with lots of couples there, so he will be there

The other showers were ladies only

Post # 5
Member
523 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

at the bridal showers I’ve been to its been all women, but a co-ed wedding shower can include men…its up to you & whoever is hosting…might want to make sure it is stated on the invite so that people will know whether or not they can bring their SOs or leave them at home…

Post # 6
Member
368 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I have seen both co-ed and women only. For my bridal shower, my fiance was there in the beginning as people were arriving and then one of his groomsmen came over and they left for male-bonding lol. I think it’s up to you as a couple, now the fiance being at the shower is socially accepted.

Post # 7
Member
2641 posts
Sugar bee

 Ionce read something about the groom showing up.  But I’ve never been to a shower where one had.  (Other than to come after to help haul all the loot away.)

I would say, he certainly doesn’t have to come.  Have you asked your I if he wants to?  My guess is most grooms don’t jump at the chance to join a party so ramped up with estrogen, and so little testosterone.

Post # 8
Member
1403 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

There are only two times that I’ve ever seen the groom present at a bridal shower.  First was an office shower for a male coworker, where they invited his future wife into the office as a surprise.  Second was an event that I wouldn’t even call a bridal shower, because every male and female from their extended family was invited, and they had favors for everyone who came, like it was a mini wedding or something.

I don’t think a groom would want to stay very long in a room full of women opening gifts of towels and cookie pans anyway…

Post # 9
Member
2532 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Hmm unless it’s a co-ed shower I would say no to the groom coming! Would he even want to be there!?

Post # 10
Member
374 posts
Helper bee

I agree w/clarebee.  Unless it’s a Jack and Jill Shower where both men and women are invited, he should have the day off.  The groom usually shows up at the end to say hello and help packing the car.

My friend’s fiance had all his friends get together and they sat around and watched the game at his apt and then they showed up to eat with the girls.  Of course, if this is not a family shower with grey haired aunts, that would work.  But if older people are there, they should come dressed well and not look like something the cat dragged in.  That being the case, they’re probably happy to stay home and eat wings.

I think today there is no ‘usual.’  Do what works for your family.  If all his aunts and cousins will be there, and especially if he hasn’t seen them in a month of moons, he should show up in the beginning and say hello and have some appetizers, then he can leave, and he should come back for something to eat and to help.

Post # 11
Member
198 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I agree that it depends on the region. Where I’m from, it’s very traditional for the groom to show up at the end of the shower to thank everyone, help load the gifts in the car, etc.

Post # 12
Member
7976 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

We’re having a co-ed shower, but the only guys expected to attend are J, my dad and his dad. 

I hate parties and attention and don’t know the women in his family so I graciously accepted the shower offer and then privately told him that if I have to go, he does too, hahahaa….

Post # 13
Member
1001 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

At most showers I’ve gone to, the groom has come at the very end (like when everyone is saying goodbye) just to greet everyone, help load presents in the car, and polish off the rest of the food.  My FI is coming just to pick me up and pack up the car.  I don’t think he has any interest in watching me open presents with 25 other women.

I have been to “couples” showers where the bride and groom are there and there are male and female guests.  Honestly, I never like those as much.  I like my girl time.

Post # 14
Member
119 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Where we are the groom usually comes in when it’s time to open gifts. At one of my showers he brought flowers…. it was very sweet.

Post # 15
Member
5670 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

I have only been to one wedding shower where the groom was not there so for us it was an easy decision we just followed what everyone else in our circle has done. My FI came and I also had my brother, father, his father, and brother at the shower.

Post # 16
Member
5978 posts
Bee Keeper

My groom came at the very end to say hello to everyone and to help with getting the gifts back home. He definitely didn’t come and stay for the entire shower, but I think him coming at the end was sweet.

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