Post # 1
I know it’s frowned upon, but my mother is planning and hosting my bridal shower. My BM are between 20 and 24 years old, they’re not all in province, and they’re busy with school! None of them have been BMs before either.
But anyways. I was thinking of the guest list today, and I’m not sure who it should include. Obviously FMIL and FSIL, but should FI’s aunts and female cousins be invited? I’m not close with any of them, but I see them at family things and I get along with his aunts well (his cousins are about 10 years younger). I don’t want anyone to feel left out, and I would like to get to know his family more. But I feel like inviting them when we’re not close is gift grabby.
Post # 2
kapalua67: I invited all the aunts and cousins that I had actually MET. I think that really only came to 5 or 6 people more than the initial list with his mom, stepmom, and sisters.
Post # 3
kapalua67: I would invite them if you’ve met them! Even if youre not super close – definitely include them. They don’t have to come if they don’t want to.
Post # 4
I would ask your FMIL who she thinks should be invited from her side of the family.
Post # 5
- Wedding: June 2014 - Fourth Presbyterian Church, Chicago, IL & Cheney Mansion, Oak Park, IL
kapalua67: I asked his mom what to do, and she said to invite them all. I’ve met many but not all of them, and I’m fine with them not coming. I think if you’ve met them its completely fine and wouldn’t look gift grabby at all.
Post # 6
Anyone can be invited to the shower as long as they’re invited to the wedding, too.
Post # 7
I invited all the females that were invited to the wedding that live in town. I figured that way no one would get their feelings hurt. i’m not going to be upset if they dont show up if I don’t know them.
Post # 8
I would talk to your FMIL about who is typically invited in his family. I would have invited my FI’s aunts to mine, but it ended up where FMIL surprised me by saying her friends wanted to throw a shower.
Post # 9
I would limit it to people you plan to invite to the wedding. Other than that, I agree with PP advice to talk to FMIL.
Post # 10
My shower had his side as well, all the aunts, cousins, and some of FMILs friends that she wanted to invite. It was most of the women invited to the wedding. I really had nothing to do with the guest list, those were just who FMIL wanted to invite. I’ve met 99% of them before (there were 1 or 2 out of town people, but I at least knew of them).
Many showers I’ve been to have been this way. In other families they;ll have multiple showers for the different groups.
Post # 11
I would invite them; they’re going to be your future family members.
And I don’t see one thing wrong with a mother wanting to throw her daughter a bridal shower! That rule that one shouldn’t is so dumb.
Post # 12
I invited my DH’s aunts and cousins. I had met them all before. In your case I would at least invite the ones I’ve met.
Post # 13
To answer the title: Yes.
Post # 14
I invited all the women that were invited to the wedding. I didn’t want anyone to feel like they were excluded, even though I was sure many of them would not make the trip.
Post # 15
You can invite anyone who is invited to the wedding.
That being said, though, my mom is throwing my shower (because that’s the tradition where my mom is from). I talked to them about who they wanted me to invite since they’re the ones paying for the shower and more people = more money. She said was comfortable with FI’s immediate family being invited (mom, sister, grandmother) but not extended family. I’m glad I asked her since she’s the one who is paying. FI’s mom isn’t super happy about it, but I’m just ignoring it.
When I was a bridesmaid, we threw the bride a shower and she asked us to invite her whole family and then just her fiance’s mom and sisters. Her FMIL threw a second shower for all of her fiance’s family and friends to attend.
So really – up to you! It’s okay to invite whoever you want to invite from the wedding guest list, but I would definitely run it past FMIL and your mom.