Is the person the cheater cheated with as bad as the cheater themself?

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
1625 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

The cheater is worse by far. The single person is free to do as they please. 

Post # 3
Member
4072 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

I guess I consider him to be worse since he is the one choosing to step out on his partner. While the woman wouldn’t be innocent as she was in the know, she isn’t damaging her own relationship. But really, I don’t see why it matters.

Post # 4
Member
681 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@blauren: The cheater is definitely worse, but I disagree with @jessicadarling – if the girl knew the guy she was about to sleep with had a gf, she shouldn’t have done it; how would she feel being cheated on? 

 

Post # 5
Member
1625 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

ykyegbride:  I’m not saying I would do it(I definitely wouldn’t), but she has no obligation towards this guys girlfriend. At all. 

Post # 6
Member
965 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

The cheatee is single and making decisions for themself, so I don’t think they are to blame or “as bad” as the cheater.

Now, if the cheatee was purposefully getting the cheater drunk, or taking advantage of a situation because someone is impaired, they can certainly be considered “as bad” for those actions, but the cheater isn’t off the hook. They still made a mistake and need to remedy the situation.

Post # 7
Member
4639 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

The cheater is definitely worse, but the person who knowingly hooks up with someone who is attached is a whole different breed of human being.. I would suspect they have very low self esteem and poor character to choose to sleep with someone who isn’t single.

Post # 8
Member
878 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

My definition of cheating is breaking the rules. If the established rule of the relationship is that he can’t sleep with others, he broke the rules. The single girl did not have these established rules so she did not do as bad by the girlfriend, she had no honor bound duty to her. She wasn’t in the right, but she wasn’t as bad

Post # 9
Member
1216 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

blauren:  I think the cheaters is worse, because it is THEIR responsibility to adhere to the rules of being in a relationship. However I disagree that the other person is just free to do as they wish. Single people should also respect themselves and others enough to not sleep with someone they know is in a relationship or engaged.

I used to have this guy friend who would send me really inapprorpiate messages online and try to get me to sleep with him, and I’d just ignore him or joke around that maybe someday it would happen when he was single, but once he got a girlfriend and then also got engaged I FLIPPED out at him when he kept it up. I was uncomfortable just having him talk about cheating with me, let alone actually doing it!

Post # 10
Member
1180 posts
Bumble bee

I think all focus should be on the person who made the commitment to someone, then decided not to honor it. Because they are the problem. Full stop.

Post # 11
Member
864 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

blauren:  I think if he’d had a GF and the person he slept with did NOT know that fact, then she’d be blameless as long as she was single herself. It would be totally his fault.

The fact that she knew he had a GF and he knew he had a GF makes them both in the wrong, and they’re equally bad. Poor girlfriend.

 

If you’re so unhappy with someone, just break it off with them! You’re not doing them any favors by cheating on them.

Post # 12
Member
3389 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I think they both are crap! But the boyfriend is stinks more

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by  .
Post # 13
Member
8593 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

I consider the cheater to be worse as far as who is responsible for breaking a commitment in the relationship.  The person in the relationship is the only one accountable for that relationship so that is worse behavior.  Not that the other person is completely innocent or right, but they are not the one choosing to step outside of the relationship.  Even though what the other person did may be considered wrong, they didn’t make a commitment and then break it.

Post # 14
Member
954 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

The cheater is by far the worst! If the other person is single, he/she is free to do as they like!

Post # 15
Member
11379 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

the person in the relationship is the one doing the cheating. 

the person they are cheating with has no loyalty to the bf/gf in this situation.  i’m sure some of them may feel badly or a bit guilty but i have a feeling that if they let it get that far (sex), the unattached person feels indifferent about the whole thing.

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