Post # 1
Hey bees! Here are some questions for you:
Can a wedding be so difficult to get to or so expensive to attend that it’s annoying? Can the date that the couple chose make it a pain, or even rude? Has anyone been invited to or attended a wedding that qualified as “annoying”?
Of course we all have the option to decline the invitation, but please feel free to share (or vent) if you have experienced this!!
Post # 2
I ask this because I have been invited to outrageously pricey destination weddings which themselves aren’t too annoying. That’s because you usually have MONTHS to fit it into your budget. When the bride wants everyone to magically pay in full without much notice, it becomes annoying. Another example: A friend shared with me that she plans on getting married on a cruise that will set sail the day after Christmas for her new year’s nuptials. That’s the peak of the holiday season! Most people spend that time with family, and she expects her guests to be gone for DAYS!!! I think that is asking a lot from people….
My FI and I are being very considerate of our guests as we continue to plan our wedding because we want our celebration to be tons of fun, and not a pain in the ass!
Post # 3
TheLadyA : I mean, people can always say no, right? I personally have never felt resentful attending a wedding, since I chose to accept.
I have found myself annoyed AT the wedding though – at things like the buffet completely running out of food before it was my table’s turn to get up for the first time! This was after a 2 hour religious ceremony and a 2 hour gap where everyone was expected to fend for themselves in deep suburbia. As a result half the guests were starving and many people trickled out before it was even 8 PM (and they had the venue until 10:30). The bride was upset that people didn’t stay and dance. Um, hungry people will wander off in search of food!
Post # 4
I can admit that I have definitely complained in advance of attending weddings on holiday weekends, e.g. July 4, Labor Day, New Years, etc. Personally I think it’s just rude to determine how your family & friends spend their holidays. Travel/lodging costs are always more expensive & people want to make their own plans for their few precious regularly guaranteed days off of the year. But I’ve had fun at every wedding that I attended so I suppose even the several weddings that annoyed me in advance turned out to be just fine in the end!
But with that said, we purposely chose the weekend *after* Memorial Day for the wedding to not interfere with our guests’ holiday weekend. And we were thanked profusely by (many) people who asked “May 31 isn’t Memorial Day, is it?!”
Post # 5
TheLadyA : FI was in a wedding of a friend that required a 4 hour drive (6 hours in traffic, through a major city was the only way to get there). The hotel blocks (which we had to stay for 2 nights) were rooms that were $300/night. The expenses were pretty annoying but – the wedding was beautiful and we had a nice time! I definitely wouldn’t want to have a wedding that required EVERYONE to travel and pay those rates.
Post # 6
I find weddings annoying when they:
– have long gaps
– don’t have enough seats
– don’t serve food with cocktails
– have poorly constructed seating charts (A friend and I attended a wedding once and assumed we would be seated together because we only knew each other and the bride hung out with the two of us together excusively and socially. We were split up and knew no one at our tables!)
Post # 7
Oh god yes!! My personal peeves are – cash bar, holiday weekend, not enough/unpalatable food, obnoxious music
Post # 8
Stupidly long gaps are beyond annoying. They ruin the day for the guests, who have nothing to do and no food, drink or music while the bride and groom take 100000 photos or duck out to a private in-between reception.
people singing themselves down the aisle, elaborate down-the-aisle dancing, slideshows, and themes more suited to a kids birthday party are also very annoying!
Post # 9
yep! I definitely have been to wedding that I felt were not entirely convenient- my most common complaints are:
poor logistics/communication like no one know what time the shuttle pick up is so half the guests missed it or the church is in the city with no parking within 20 blocks and its chicago in december in a blizzard
little/no food or drink available (or only one bartender for a wedding for 200+ so its a 45 min wait!) or just really bad food (think sliced deli meat turkey and frozen veggies)
really expensive hotels/ minimum stay (ie for holiday weekend you need to stay 3 nights)
basically any thing that spells out that you don’t care about your guests experience as much as the others areas of your wedding.
Usually I can get over it and still have fun… I have only really been to two weddings (out of about 30) that I still can’t get the bad taste out of my mouth from (but they have made excellent what not to do stories!)
I don’t really have issues with cash bars/limited food etc if the rest of the wedding follows that same vibe (ie I know they didn’t have the money and tried their best) but when I know they have the money or they have made a conscious decision that having 100 vintage hankies and a $5000 dress is more important than all the guest having seats or something then its hard to get over it (for me)
Post # 10
k8: That was so nice of you! So many people don’t care. I’ve also been invited to weddings in Valentine’s day…sweet in theory, but what about all of your guests that want to celebrate with their boo thang?!
The craziest part about the holiday wedding I mentioned above is that when I asked whether or not she was concerned about people declining because of family trips, she basically said if it’s important enough to them they’ll come. I was expecting more of a “if they can come great, if not I understand”. I was a little shocked! Lol
crackktheskyy: OMG! Not having enough seats SUCKs!!! Been there, done that and I thought my feet died. I literally had to sit on the front steps of the venue in my nice dress because I had been standing ALLL NIGHT! The ceremony was standing, and then after dinner the room was flipped for dancing and only a few chairs remained. Ouch!
Some people even had to eat their dinner in a separate room from where most of the guests were :-/
Post # 11
TheLadyA : You poor thing!! And taking away even more chairs after dinner?! That is just cruel and unusual!! I think I would have hightailed it to the nearest bar, got myself a nice booth, and ordered some nachos and a gin and tonic!!
Post # 12
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
Ours was probably annoying because it was in the middle of nowhere Wyoming, which is supertough to get to. So we were extra grateful that basically everyone came, and we tried to make everything very easy and fun (3 parties!) for people once they were there.
Post # 13
i find weddings annoying in which its one you cannot decline because the bride or groom are a relative or close friend they and they do the following:
-have their wedding on holiday wknds especially new years or halloween. sorry but many holidays people spend time with their families and take their children trick o treating and you are asking them to give up their holidays and also for people with kids its extremely difficult to find babysitters on holidays!
-weddings that start between 5-7pm and dont serve dinner. we definately leave those early because we are hungry. also if you serve tons of booze its probably a good idea to serve a dinner.
-receptions with limited seating where many guests have to stand.
-when a wedding runs out of food at the buffet line
-destination weddings where your guests have to take more than a couple days of vacation time from work.
-weddings only 15 minutes away, yet start at 4pm on a friday so most of the guests have to request a vacation day off of work.
-when people are not allowed a plus one or they cant bring bring a date unless they are married. this is so tacky when you put this rule on people the age of 30 plus.
Post # 14
Long gaps and limited or well liquor type of bars usually annoy me. Also, if a venue doesn’t have parking. I’ve never been to a cash bar or outdoor wedding or a destination wedding so I can’t complain about those…
Post # 15
TheLadyA : I don’t really think so. I don’t think you are ever responsible for the emotions of others and I would considered being annoyed an emotion. If my wedding is inconvenient for you and you allow that to annoy you, that’s on you. It’s totally valid to decline an invite.
I am one of those people who had what I think most people would consider to be an expensive DW at a resort in Mexico. I tried to be considerate of others by making sure that my nearest and dearest were on board for this excursion (it worked out well as we were planning a big group family vacation anyway) and planned the timing around what worked for them. Anyone else who could come was a bonus. If people felt annoyed by my invitation they were kind enough not to mention it. We were delighted and totally surprised that more than 60 people chose to join us (we figured we’d get max 50 people) and those who were there all seemed wholeheartedly happy to join us.