Is there someone you hate but are forced to invite?

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
3707 posts
Sugar bee

If they’re a long-established couple, you can’t invited just half, unless you are only having a few guests, like immediate family, blood-relatives only. 

We invited someone that no one can stand, to my 1st daughter’s wedding. Since they didn’t even bother to RSVP to that one, we didn’t waste an invitation, to the 2nd one’s wedding. 

Post # 3
Hostess
9903 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

Bored6:  My mom’s boyfriend.  Can’t stand him.  Can’t stand the person she is with him, and he’s an asshole.  I wish I didn’t have to invite him, but i did.  He came (because my mom made him) and thankfully all was fine.  He’s also not in any of my pictures 😀

Step-mom had to be invited, I don’t really like her much either but I’d take her over mom’s boyfriend any day.

Post # 4
Member
7212 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

Bored6:  it’s hard to answer this without more detail about the personal reason why you hate him. Unless he did something awful to you or someone else, you probably have to invite him. If you’re just not going to, you need to accept that your mom won’t be there. 

Post # 5
Member
2871 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

My uncle (Mom’s BIL) is a total racist and a loud drunk. But he’s married to my mom’s sister and picking and choosing is really not allowed.  I don’t think I noticed him the entire night.  To be honest, other than the fact that my aunt came and I’d doubt she came without him, I’m not entirely sure he was there. 

Post # 6
Member
671 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2015 - Family Farm

FI’s Aunt. Horrible mean woman. I loath her.

Post # 7
Member
4147 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

My mom was dating this complete freeloading asshole when DH and I were engaged.  I told her right off the bat that he wasn’t invited and that was that.  Luckily my mom is very easy going and said that would be fine, it’s my wedding.  They broke up months before my wedding anyway, but honestly I probably would have let him come if they were still together then.  Just to make Mom happy.

Post # 8
Member
1907 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: TBD

Yes. One of my FIs cousins. I mean I don’t hate him, but he’s a total a-hole plus he clearly doesn’t value marriage at all and I really, REALLY don’t want him there. Unfortunately, FMIL said if we don’t invite him her sister (cousins mom) won’t come and it would cause a huge rift. Ughhhh. 

 

I feel feel your pain OP. Unfortunately I think this is one of those instances where your wedding isn’t really about you and you just have to suck it up and be “politically correct.” Sorry :/

Post # 10
Member
167 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

I think most people have guests they wish they didn’t have to invite… Personally, I’m planning to invite and seat them somewhere out of sight so they don’t get a chance to have a negative impact on the whole day.   

Post # 11
Member
247 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Bored6:  Ugh..yes. I always get so annoyed and angry about this exact topic.

My dad is dating this lady whom I don’t really like at all. Him and my mom had a rough divorce and my wedding will be primarily her huge family (he only has his mom, and she will leave after dinner). He told me his relationship will not last until next year…but he FORCED ME TO INVITE HER TWO DAUGHTERS AND THEIR HUSBANDS. Since he is technically paying, I cannot say no. But I am so furious that they have to be at my wedding, in my pictures, with all of my family, and that I know that this time next year I will probably never see them again.

I can’t say anything to my dad because really, I understand. He needs someone he knows at the wedding. He is going to be overwhelmed with my mom’s family and her new bf and he needs people at his table.

So super frustrating though. I am bitter about it, but ultimately I understand and I’m not losing sleep over it. It is what it is.

Post # 12
Member
851 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Bored6:  I am exactly in your position! My mom passed away april 2013 and it only took my dad 3 months to move on… I have not been accepting of this woman and I refuse to let her come to the wedding. I feel that if my dad cannot come for one day without her then I guess I am not important enough to him. In my situation it would just hurt me too much to see another woman standing beside my dad. I want to be able to enjoy the night as a family with my dad and brothers. It does help that I think shes a stupid broad who is ruining our family and only with my dad for the money.. haha Honestly, if people want to call me selfish go ahead. I am far from a bridezilla but if having her there is going to upset me then she is not welcome. Maybe try telling your mom that you would just like to celebrate this day with her and her alone. Wish you all the best!!

Post # 13
Member
613 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

My aunt! Luckily for me though she RSVPed no, then recently her and my mom had a huge falling out so I will probably never have to see her again (:

Post # 14
Member
3828 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

my sister in law? lol

We all have people we dont like we had to invite. You really dont notice them in the end. 

Post # 15
Member
2207 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

i had at least 10 people there that i very very strongly dislike. unfortunately, i had to invite them because they are DH’s family, and even though he isn’t close to them now, he places a lot of stock in people who were big parts of his life during childhood. :/

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