Post # 1
So I just sort of stumbled upon this site and thought “this could totally be helpful!”
Me and my fiance have been engaged for a good period of time. He proposed when he felt the time was right (2010), but wanted an long engagement to make sure we didn’t just get caught up in the moment and were irrational. There were also situations that we had to deal with, finacially.
We have just picked out a date, August 1, 2015. Is it too soon to start planning? We thought about having a wedding next year, but we feel that a year might not be enough time to book a venue, figure out food, who to invite and most of all money. We will both be paying out of our pockets, coming from two different cultural backround, he said the bride’s parents’ pay. Where I have been taught the groom’s parents’ pay for the wedding. So to make things easier, we’ll be paying lol
So what I’m really wondering is… should I start planning now? Or am I getting ahead of myself and just wait?
Post # 3
We got engaged in December 2011 and will be married June 2013…so like a year and a half engagement.
We got engaged in CA sort of in tandem with checking out vendors since it was the only time we’d be able to visit before the wedding because of school. (It wasn’t really a suprise proposal LOL). We were able to book venue, cake, catering, and a DJ that soon. But it wasn’t super easy. A lot of people blew us off or said they don’t have their prices yet for that far in advance etc etc.
When someone acted uninterested in our money we moved on.
Even so, every single person was like WOAH you’re wedding isn’t for soooo long. Welp, now we’re 3 months away. I have a little less than 1 week left of spring break and then I’m in school until the week before the wedding. So I’m sure glad we were planning early even if everyone else thought it was weird.
Side note, I have an old friend who has the same wedding date as us. She hasn’t planned a thing. And she’s so nonchalant about it all…I wonder when it’s going to hit her that it’s a TON of work??
Post # 4
Too early? I had a spreadsheet open within an hour of getting engaged haha. It’s NEVER too early!! Plus, if you pick out things you like now, then wait, and make sure you still like them in a little while rather than rushing into things and regretting them. Ohhhh it’s so exciting!!!! I was mad on planning and loved every single second. I wish I could do it all over again
Post # 5
ps, the only thing I would say about being too early – the dress. Yeh sure, go try and some on and get a feel about what you like, but there will be new styles out by then and you may change your mind
Post # 6
My engagement will be nearly 2 years (engaged August 2011) and I think I started some aspects of the planning pretty much immediately (looking for venues etc). I don’t think it’s a bad idea to start planning now if you are getting married in peak wedding season, as vendors book out early.
The thing I’d recommend waiting on (or at least waiting on telling people about) is the guest list – mine has changed since we got engaged as we’ve met new people and become less close with others due to life circumstances.
Post # 7
Also, booking a venue early actually worked out well for us – we booked in January 2012 and in July 2012 (so one year before the wedding) the venue changed owners. They changed their pricing packages and our wedding would have been more expensive under their prices, but they are honouring our original contract!
Post # 8
Oh my gosh, thank you so much everyone! I have been holding in all this excitement. I have looked at a few dresses and I have changed my mind A LOT. So I will wait on the dress for sure! ANY advice would be good, I honestly have very little idea what I’m doing.
Post # 9
It’s not too early at ALL to start looking at inspiration and to start checking out vendors!
I wouldn’t get a dress, yet. But you can start looking at everything else!
Post # 10
Depends on the size of the wedding and where, I think. We got engaged in April 2011, told family that summer, and started planning last September. We had a venue by the end of September. Glad we booked that early as they raised prices this year.
My wedding is 40 people. Friend of mine planned a wedding in 10 weeks for 24 people, out of town. I think she worked on it fulltime. My venue just asked if I had a rough headcount.
I echo the early dress. I bought mine early but I really have to watch my weight until the big day. We bought my neice’s junior bridesmaid dress in December. It’s a size up from what fit her then, but we have some concern as she’s really growing right now.
Post # 11
I got engaged and in 7 months planned a wedding where 200 people attended. I would have gone CRAZY waiting any longer than a year!!!!!
Post # 12
NO! Start the fun! Because you have some time, you can entertain multiple ideas and visions without having to commit to anything. It sounds like heaven – I can’t wait to get married, but I wish I’d had more time to think about my vision before I had to steam roll ahead with booking. You have the chance to get any venue you want! Any officiant!
Post # 13
@Mang: My FI and I are getting married almost two years to the day of when we got engaged, and I dove right into planning! There are a lot of great benefits to starting your planning early. You will have your pick of venues and other prime vendors like photographers, etc. You will also have lots of time to spread out your tasks (and the $$ that goes with them) so you’re not stressed out by cramming everything into a short timeframe! Right now, all my major planning is done, so I just have little things and some DIY projects to do between now and November. I’m all for being less stressed throughout the planning process! 🙂
Post # 14
We are having a long engagement too — engaged in July 2011, getting married in October 2013. The long engagement was for mostly financial reasons… the rest of 2011 and all of 2012 we were just saving money, and as far as “planning” goes, we were really just looking around and spinning our wheels until January 2013, which was when we actually booked our venue (which took forever to find).
I would vote WAIT to start hard planning until you are about a year or so out. What I mean by “hard” planning is the kind of planning in which you actually make concrete decisions (such as buying a dress, booking a venue with a non-refundable deposit, etc.) that cost money. “Soft” planning would be looking/shopping around, collecting ideas and inspiration, and generally educating yourself about what you want.
The reason I say this is because the kind of wedding we wanted in 2011 when we initially got engaged is completely different from the kind of wedding that we are actually planning now. And let me tell you, even before we were engaged, I thought I had it down packed exactly the wedding I wanted. But then… as you start learning about all your options, and spend some TIME really thinking about it now that these fantasies have weight to them, your ideas shine in a different light (for me anyway). But after spending the first year and a half of our engagement literally just contemplating ideas, visiting different venues, attending other weddings along the way, Pinterest, and thinking about what was really important… our wedding gradually turned into a different animal. And now I’m SO happy that I didn’t make any permenant or semi-permanent decisions back in 2011.
What I’m saying is, your date is a little over two years away. There is a good chance that you may change your mind about some of the things you like (or dislike) now. Maybe you won’t… but maybe you will. Maybe your date will even change to sooner or later. Give yourself some time and enjoy your engagement 🙂
EDIT: This is all especially true with regard to the guest list. This early out, definitely don’t mention to anyone that they will be invited, because you just don’t know yet! You could totally wind up with a super-small wedding of immediate family only (or an elopement!).
Post # 15
I would say it’s never to early, especially for inspiration and looking to see what’s out there. I would say wait to purchase your dress, and definitely wait to pick your bridal party! Our engagement will be almost two years long, and I picked my bridal party right away. That was a bad, bad move. Please learn from my mistake and don’t ask people too far in advance!! I mean, there was only one person that would have changed, but it was UGLY and I reeeaaally wish I could have avoided what happened…
Post # 16
@Mang: We have been engaged for just over a year….and we only officially set our date yesterday…I got ahead of myself and bought a dress, so we had to set a date! haha. Even though we havent been planning properlt for the last year, I’ve done heaps of research – I now have a clear vision of what I want my wedding to look like, as well as finding a venue that is around a THIRD of the original venue I wanted, and to be quite frank – its even prettier! So I’ve loved having the time to research everything and ask family and friends if they know someone who knows someone who could do our catering cheap, or I have an old friend from school studying photography. io say, don’t actively plan yet – (you never know what might change!) but do your research. Money was tight with us too…and I found time to be a really useful resource!