- 3 years ago
- Wedding: August 2015
Im sure many of you girls know me as the girl who’s FI found out he has an 8 year old son just after our engagement. For those who don’t know, the super quick story is he got contacted on fb by an old flame, she said he has a kid, they did a DNA test and it is my FIs, she then refuses to allow them to meet and stops answering phone calls etc and now we believe has also moved house. There’s also a bunch of other complicated stuff which I won’t get into for now. Oh, FI had no idea shed had a child until the contact (Wasn’t denying paternity or anything)
So in other news, we have sorted out some family crap and other stuff and we can finally set a date in stone! Late oct, 2015, yay 🙂
it makes me feel really bad though, to think FIs son is most likely going to miss our wedding. My dad got married when I was pretty much the same age and although I was invited, my mum would not let me go. To this day, I still feel a bit sad when I see the photos of the day, with the whole family there except for me. I adore my stepmom too and wish I had been there to clelebrate with both of the, on the wedding day. I guess this makes me feel a bit guilty, but at the same time, we can’t just postpone the wedding until we track the mum down, go to court, win, get him familiar enough with the family etc. this whole process could take years, it could never happen, who knows?
i feel it’s even worse though, not receiving an invite. the boy still doesn’t even know about FI as far as we know, so I don’t know how we’d get around that. I feel down the track when hopefully he and FI reconnect (or just connect I guess) that when he sees wedding photos etc, he’ll feel like he missed out on being there.
i know FI will be upset too that he doesn’t get to spend the time with his son on his wedding day. Before everything went to shit, FI was talking excitedly about getting him to be the ring bearer if he wanted, giving him a sneaky sip of his whisky and everything else.
i was thinking of getting a custom made bracelet for FI, with his sons name engraved on it and making sure the photographer gets a couple of close up shots. I want to spend a bit of cash on it and get a good quality one that FI may wear again. That way one day when his sons in our life, he can show him and “prove” he was thinking of him on his wedding day. I think it may also offer some comfort to my FI, to think he has something of his son with him on his wedding daY.
i guess I want a way to show his son, and to also show my FI, that even though we can’t see his son yet, I see myself as marrying my FI and his son because I sincerely hope he is in our lives one day. I want his son to know that he is a part of our family already in spirit And the day of our wedding is not to start a new family without him.
this may seem like I’m reading too much into it, please tell me if I am, I guess I’m just sensitive still about my own dad’s wedding.
is this a good idea, or silly and tacky? Would especially appreciate the advice of other bees who missed a parents wedding Or had absent oarents.