Is this a guy thing or am I being too sensitive?

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1888 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@dorizel:  It’s a guy thing.  My FI does it too.  It used to bug me until I started to say “I know something’s bugging you and I’m here if you want to talk about it.”  That seems to be the magic phrase because 8 out of 10 times he’ll start to talk.  In not then I let it drop.

Post # 4
Member
4043 posts
Honey bee

@dorizel:  Hmmm…defintely strange.

Maybe you snore or kick like crazy in your sleep, thus causing your partners to wake up. They might wake you up to make you stop, but then are afraid to tell you. That’s my only thoughts because it has happened with more than one person.

Never happened to me. But honestly, if someone woke me up multiple times in the middle of the night for no reason, I would be more annoyed than worried. Why not talk about it during the day? Also, if you are going to wake me up, then at least fess up to what’s wrong.

Post # 5
Member
1343 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@dorizel:  I’m really confused… 

He purposefully wakes you up? Or he doesn’t something else to wake you up? 

I agree with PP though, maybe you’re snoring and he doesn’t want to hurt your feelings. 

Post # 6
Member
2055 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@dorizel:  Not sure what you mean here. Do you mean:

Scenario #1: 

He wakes you up as in he nudges you awake in order to wake you, and then doesn’t say why he woke you?

Or

Scenario #2:

He wakes you up as in he happens to be walking around the room, sitting up in bed or turns on the light and inadvertently wakes you, and then doesn’t say anything about why he is up?

In either case, why don’t you ask him about it? Ask him why he woke up, why he woke you up, and why don’t you express to him that you feel self conscious about it as though you did something wrong? You certainly don’t want to go through what you went through before, right? So, try talking with him.

If he doesn’t remember, I’d wonder if he had trouble sleeping or sleepwalks.

I’ve never experienced this in a relationship.

Post # 7
Member
8702 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Is he purposely waking you up?

 

Either way, tell him you’re there to listen if he needs to talk. Otherwise, I’d just let them deal with it.

ETA: Another poster reminds me…

My husbad “semi sleepwalks.” More accurately, he’ll sit up and appear wide awake. Sometimes he’ll even talk to me, but he’s still very much asleep. He wakes me up maybe 3 nights out of every week because of this, either because he sits up and does something that wakes me up, or I’m already awake and he inquires as to what I’m doing after “waking” from a dead sleep.

My husband never remembers this the next morning. I’ve even had him walking around the bedroom or kitchen in the middle of the night. If I talk to him he will respond (Usually, “Are you okay?” / “Yeah.”) and will immediately go back to sleep.

Post # 9
Member
1343 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Hyperventilate:  WOAH that’s creepy… I didn’t even think of that. I should add that to the thread about irrational frears. Sleepwalking just freaks me out… eesh

 

@dorizel:  I would flat up ask him if he remembers you asking him questions. Like PP stated, it could be sleepwalking! If not, then no… I don’t think it’s a guy thing. I think it’s a weird thing. IMO, if you are acting obviously upset about something then you need to tell me about it. Don’t showboat around the issue while I’m sitting there guessing. 

Post # 10
Member
8702 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

@lolita39:  His parents warned me early on, as did he. It freaked me out the first time, but once I realize he’s actually asleep, I just call him back to bed or tell him to lie down so I can rub his back, he complies every time and then he’s sound asleep.

Shortly after we got married I had sleeping troubles (It was an off balance sleep schedule I was trying to correct) but we both agree to go to bed when the other does even if the other isn’t tired. So, I was sitting in bed wide awake and I was playing my DS. I had it under the blankets so the light didn’t disturb him. He slowly sits up (The kind of sleepy roll over but still kinda sitting thing you do when you roll out of bed to pee or whatever) and looks at me and exhales loudly like he was stretching. I look up at him and ask him if he’s okay. He nods, then goes, “Wutchoo doin’ under dere?” Before I can even respond, he leans over the blanket to look at my DS, puts his head on my shoulder and immediately falls back asleep while hugging my arm.

Meanwhile I’m sitting in the darkness with a face like @_@ going “What the hell just happened?”

The next morning he had no memory of the incident.

Post # 11
Member
1899 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - TTC #2

@dorizel:  My FI seems to have a magic reset button, so if something’s bothering him before bed, it’s usually nothing by morning.

But if I was woken in the middle of the night like that, I’d insist he talk so we can move on and sleep.

Post # 12
Member
830 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@dorizel:  Hey, I’m not having a go at you and I hope you can see the humour in it, but maybe it’s all just a case of this:

Post # 13
Member
1988 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

@ksus07:  Hahahaha! I love that, so true! There were times in our relationship when I was sure my SO was thinking about how unhappy he was with me and how he was about to leave me. When I finally got him to talk, it turned out he was mulling over how much he hated his job! lol  

Post # 14
Member
4513 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

This happens to my FI sometimes when he is stressed at work. He just can’t sleep or he’ll wake up in the middle of the night stressing. I ask him whats wrong, “nothing.” Always “nothing”, until he finally tells me about some crazy deadline or whatever. I don’t think its anything to be too concerned about.

Post # 15
Member
3420 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

@ksus07:  men dont get us and we dont get them! its a mutual misunderstanding haha

Post # 16
Member
11668 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@dorizel:  I think it depends on the person. I always know when something’s up with my husband and I’ll ask what’s wrong. 9 times out of 10 he says nothing so I let it oh and he will come to me when he wants to talk about it.

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