Post # 1
Good afternoon bees,
i received a text message from a good friend who is about to be married- saying that since i’m newly engaged she now should invite my fiancé to her wedding and asked for his name. I was really touched and thought that this was a really thoughtful thing to do. I replied with his name and told her how that I wasn’t expecting her to invite him (although I am relieved as it would have been awkward explaining to him that he wasn’t invited).
the catch is that she nor her fiancé have met my fiancé.
she then replied with a couple of messages in succession saying that she wasn’t inviting any other partners that she didn’t know- and she knew that because we were engaged he ‘should’ be invited. She then said that she would really understand if he didn’t want to come to the wedding of two people he hadn’t met…
am being sensitive or is she intimating that she doesn’t want him to come?
should we accept his invitation?
Post # 3
@polly-pocket: No you’re overthinking it. She is not saying she doesn’t want him to come. I think she was saying she understands if he doesn’t come. In other words, it’s ok either way.
But since he’s invited, I think it’d be nice if he went. He’s obviously welcome there.
p.s. And if he never was invited, there would have been no problem you going alone. My DH was invited to a wedding without me when we were engaged. He went, and we both survived.
Post # 4
@paula1248: thanks! I think it was just the sheer number of messages after her lovely offer all with reasons that he might not come, and that other partners weren’t invited that made me doubt myself and the invite!
Post # 5
I think you should be fine going together. I obviously don’t know your friend, but this sounds very close to something I would do wherein I backtrack out of ‘over’ concern for the person I am speaking with. She probably invited him and then didn’t want you to think it was weird she invited him, and give him an out so he wouldn’t feel obliged to attend.
Texting is always weird and things get confused. You probably wouldn’t have given it a second thought if she had said it to you in person. If you still feel weird about it in a few days, meet up with her and have a chat.