- 4 years ago
First of all, I hope this is a better post thasomeone of my others. So here goes.
I just started a new job last week as a preschool teacher. Since its summer, I’ve been filling in for different teachers (it’s a year round program) as they’re taking vacations and the summer camp they have for school age children. Anyway, my first day there I found out that one of the kids going there is the nephew of my high school boyfriend (yes I’m still in the same town I grew up in). No big deal right? Interesting coincidence. Before that day I’d only heard of him and seen pictures here and there (his mom, my old boyfriends sister in law) also went to school with me way back when (we’re 30) And she’s on my FacebooK. We’re casual friends. Anyway, so the point of this is that these past few days while I’ve been working with that group (who will go to regular school in two weeks) it’s made me think about my old boyfriend. (The reason I say old boyfriend instead of ex is because he’s just that. It wasnt a bad breakup just a were young and grew apart (he was 19 I was 20). I don’t have these “omg I want him back” feelings but more curious of how he’s doing. We stayed in touch for awhile and then he moved and gradually we kind of lost touch. I last saw him four years ago at his dads funeral (yes I went. I was really close to his parents when we were together and when his mom died while we were still together I took it pretty hard. We were together 3 1/2 years and she was my second mom. I’d also known the family for years since we were 7 and in elementary school.) it went well. He hugged me asked how I was and was nice. I felt happy he didn’t hate me. So yeah. He’s been on my mind and I guess now I feel guilty for the way I acted in the end. I wasn’t very nice at the time and realize that I wasn’t mature enough to handle all the problems going on at the time. Like I said his mom had died the year before and then his dad started dating and I just didn’t know how to be as emotionally there for him as he needed me to be at the time (this was 10 years ago).
I guess I’m just basically asking if its normal to think about and wonder a out someone whme was that big part of my life like this. He was my first boyfriend I was his first girlfriend and we were each others first everything. I care about him, because like I said he was a big part ans important part of my life, and will probably always have a special place in my heart for him. He’s very happy now and I’m not going to do anything to stop that but it’s just like I said. Is it normal to have that special place for some one like that or am I totally wrong?
thanks for any insight!