Is this a normal kind of wedding?

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
1099 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

I’ve known of weddings to be in the morning (After watching Four Weddings….you kinda see everything lol!) and people having the “cake and punch” kind of reception even for an evening wedding. I personally don’t know the etiquette on an “after reception brunch” as in who pays for what, and who is invited. I would imagine though it could go both ways. The brunch could be hosted by bride and groom or it could just be a whoever can make it kind of thing. However, if it is formal enough to require an RSVP I would assume its a hosted event and not just a “hey if you can make it!” kind of event.  As for the 5 registries….lol thats a little crazy! Especially a “just for the bride” registry….that’s pretty much what the bachelorette party is for lol!

Post # 3
Member
1750 posts
Buzzing bee

I have heard of a few weddings similar to this. 

I don’t think this arrangement is that weird to be honest. It isn’t the norm, but it’s not completely out there.

Most of these things are optional, as well. They’re not saying you have to do anything, except leave no later than noon. That sounds simple to me.  

As for the five registries, I don’t see a problem with that either. Is it the norm? Probably not, but, again, all of that is optional. They’re just providing several places you can buy from, not saying you have to get them a gift from each place or the most expensive gift you can afford. 

If a guest finds this wedding complicated or a problem, it’s likely only because they chose to make it more troublsome than it needs to be. So much of this optional that it doesn’t need to be treated or seen as anything but a normal wedding. 

Post # 4
Member
4641 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

5 registries aside, I think its awful that it starts at 930 in the morning.

 

Post # 5
Member
220 posts
Helper bee

rachel85:  I don’t think it’s out of the ordinary at all. Also, as far as the brunch goes, I see it this way: They’re basically inviting people to go out to lunch with them, but giving them advance notice. 

Post # 6
Member
7098 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

It’s definitely unusual but whatever works. The tea and cake reception wouldn’t phase me, but I would be put off by the 5 registries.

Post # 7
Member
1627 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

It isn’t normal to me, but at least there will be cake before you head back home. I would likely decline the brunch part since this is a coworker. That’s one way to narrow down your nearest and dearest- make them pay for their meal.. Five registries is overkill especially when MyRegistry is available for multiple gift sources. 

Post # 8
Member
376 posts
Helper bee

I’ve heard of morning weddings before. And I guess if you’re getting married in the morning, a PYOW brunch is the equivalent to a day after breakfast for an evening wedding? I have no issues with that.

But 5 registries with nothing under $300?!?! Whoa.

Post # 9
Member
1131 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I can’t comment on whether it’s NORMAL or not, and I definitely don’t think there’s anything wrong with having a small ceremony+cake only wedding. And, I guess, if you are having an enormous extravagant wedding with amazing guest experience for all, I would take a five-store registry in stride. But this wedding combines everything in a way that seems to say, “hey come to our wedding, but don’t expect any refreshments other than those which will cost us the least, and please don’t stay too long unless you can pay for your own food, but ooooh don’t forget to spend lots of time selecting a gift for us since we clearly spent a lot of time selecting all the gifts we’d like to get from you!”

Registering for lingerie is definitely not normal, and I think it’s inappropriate.

Post # 10
Member
721 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

i think having people RSVP for the brunch afterwards/second part and then pay for themselves is a little rude. its like inviting people to a reception but asking them to pay for themselves!

Post # 12
Member
721 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I don’t think the general idea is terribly unusual. We had a morning ceremony, followed by a lunch reception (though with a full meal and open bar, as opposed to tea and cake). It was followed by drinks and food that people bought themselves, back at the hotel, after the wedding formalities were over. Kind of like an after-party with no sense of obligation for anyone involved.

I think tea and cake is a lovely way to treat your guests without dropping huge $$$.

Post # 13
Member
336 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I’ve never heard of anything like that. The lingerie registry cracks me up, I can’t even imagine telling someone like my dad or grandma to buy me a thong or two hahaha!

Post # 15
Member
1248 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

rachel85:  I wouldn’t be thrilled about having to get all dolled up for morning wedding and then only getting a slice of cake. But then to have 5 registries with barely anything under $300 and they want you to pay for your own brunch?! Yeah, no. I would cosnider Registries like that rude for a wedding with a seated dinner, let alone one where I get a piece of cake and then are asked to kindly leave unless I want to pay for my own meal. 

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