Post # 1
After months of dealing with this from a few different people, I just had to ask. Since getting engaged/beginning to plan your wedding, have people around you suddenly become interested to know what you’re spending on everything?!
For me, money has never been something that was talked about freely outside of immediate family (parents/siblings), but I’ve had more than one member of my family that is constantly prying and asking what we are spending on the wedding. I feel uncomfortable talking about it with them, but I mostly just find it so strange that it’s becoming a topic of conversation at all when money isn’t talked about otherwise. I realize that many people get caught up in the excitement of weddings, but is it really necessary to know what we’re spending on every single item?
So I just have to know, are any other bees dealing with this, or is it my family being strange?
Post # 3
Before we got married, a few of my friends seemed interested in the cost of things. I think it came from the fact that they were genuienely curious about how much dough it takes to throw a decent wedding. Unless you’ve planned a wedding yourself, people don’t really have any idea how much flowers and dresses and things like that cost. That being said, I also felt like you do. It’s not really appropriate to ask people point blank how much they’re spending on things, and it made me a bit uncomfortable too.
Post # 4
People have asked me, my boss, my co-workers, a couple of friends. We’re paying for it on our own, so maybe they are just curious?! Who knows. I find it really awkward, too.
Post # 5
I think there are two categories of people that are interested in how much you are spending.
1) Other couples who are planning. I had some friends ask, but that’s because they were doing comparison shopping and wanted to know if they overpaid or got a good deal. In addition, they were also interested in some of the things we booked and wanted to get pricing. I don’t see this as any different from the bees here asking for pricing about local vendors.
2) People who are just nosy. We downplayed how much we paid to some people and complained about the costs to others. It just depended on the crowd. We only gave one or two people hard figures though (in terms of people who were asking to just be nosy).
Post # 6
Yes, people still ask me, and honestly I don’t even remember half the time. Most of it is out of curiosity and to find out if they’re finding good deals (we got great deals!) which I don’t mind sharing especially if they are in the middle of planning It can get annoying sometimes, though.
I think money is a personal thing. If one of my friends decided to throw a really expensive wedding it wouldn’t be any of my business unless I had to buy a really expensive dress, ya know? But it doesn’t seem people see it that way.
People also ask us how much our house was, how much my new car is, how much DH’s truck was… I think it’s just because we’ve done a lot of things earlier than some of our friends who are still house hunting or wedding planning.
Post # 7
@kalixti: Not yet, but then again our wedding is still a ways away. I’m guessing it’ll get worse closer to the big day.
Post # 8
a few people at work who had very cheap weddings (which is fine because thats what they wanted) are being quite rude to me about it. even if i dont tell them amounts they ask – oh where are you getting married? i tell them and they say oh we looked at that chapel but its $850, thats such a waste of money for one day!
Post # 9
I’m really glad to hear that I’m not alone in this! It’s just gotten to the point that I go out of my way to not bring up the wedding in front of some people because I don’t want to be asked about how much something is.
I think what bothers me so much about it, is the fact that those asking are people who aren’t planning a wedding, and who I’ve never in my life heard talk about money this way. I expect them to be interested since I’m the first on this side to get married, but I don’t get the fascination with money. If they were planning their own wedding, that’s one thing, but those who aren’t have no reason to need this information.
Post # 10
Yes. People want to know these things and when it comes to money talk, I am usually private about that. No one needs to know but I don’t really get offended, just surprised. I never asked anyone who got married how much they spent on their wedding. But now that we’re getting married, lots of people are asking. With my bm, we go to talking and sharing wedding info so that was fine but telling people about stuff, they automatically want to know, how much. Sometimes I am open and don’t care, other times, it makes me not so comfortable.
Post # 11
Haha, my dad is exactly like this! Although he isn’t contributing to the wedding (which is okay), he still wants to know how much everything costs
Post # 12
- Wedding: September 2014 - Lodge
I find that FI family asks a lot about how much we are spending. They are nosy though (once spread a rumor that I convinced FI to use his mother’s life insurance money to pay for a $50,000 wedding. Won’t they be surprised when they find out most decor is hand made from things we find around the house, garage sales etc :).)
I just give vague “It’s costing us enough.”. It’s no ones business how much we’re spending. If a friend of mine who was researching or whatever asked I would let them know because I know I went into all this blind, having no idea where to go or what to do etc. But his family likes to start drama and again is just nosey so for them to ask its because they want to see how much we save, how much we make, how much we’re willing to spend.
Post # 13
People have asked us. And it’s annoying. I feel like they’re trying to just be nosy, because when we do tell them, they act like it’s a crazy amount. And we’re doing things pretty cheap to what a lot of people spend!
Post # 14
It’s funny how people can ask such questions but it’s human natureto be curious. I’ve known people who are pefectly comfortable asking how much things cost… houses, cars, vacations, clothes and weddings.
I guess it depends on why they want to know and more important how it makes YOU feel. It sounds like it’s a bit uncomfortable. If you don’t feel like giving them an honest answer then tell them “It’s about 1.2 million and climbing”. Maybe they’ll get the hint… maybe not but at least it’s funny!!!
Post # 15
This is definitely happening to us, although I wouldn’t say it is normal. After my mom told my aunt how much my wedding dress was going to cost, my aunt called me and scolded me for wanting to spend that much.
I’ve also been asked how much my ring is, the venue, etc. I usually say, “oh, I didn’t tell you?” to which the person says “no.” My response is, “then it’s not of your business!”
Sheesh, people are way too nosy!