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I'm sorry you're not having a good day. This is my suggestion: keep the wedding date and set a more manageable goal. In order for a goal to motivate you, it needs to be achievable and measureable (example: By February 6th, my goal is to lose 5 pounds. These are the steps that I'm going to take to make it happen....). I would start focusing on living a healthier lifestyle that incorporates changes that allows you to become who you want to be (physically and mentally).
In short, yes.
You need to love you for you and losing weight wont change the person you are or who is getting married.
What if you don't lose the weight or lose as much as you want? Will you feel even worse for postponing the wedding?
I think its a great goal to get in shape and we all want to look good in our pictures. And you will look great no matter what.
I think you should set a plan to be healthy not only for your wedding but for your life and realize that your life does not begin with a wedding, it has already started and the weight you are on that day does not matter in the grand scheme of things.
As for buying a dress, but a dress that fits you at that time, with a corset preferably and if you have to have it taken in then great! I did, lots of people have do.
Learning to love yourself is hard, but needs to be done. Make a list of your good qualities and reread daily out loud.
Make a plan to be healthier and as you become healthier there are other positive side effects, eating well physically affects your brain and hormones in a good way- as does exercise.
And make a short list of things you want to improve on and work on improving those. Accomplishing weight goals is just as important as building yourself inside.
I would keep the wedding date, but definitely start working out and portioning food.
I suggest, once again, using My Fitness Pal (you can find me as SassyTart09). Let me go copy what I put in another post so you can get an idea on how it works.
Awww, don't postpone your wedding over this! Remember, your fiance thinks you are beautiful and that is why he wants to marry you!
Try looking at Maggie Sottero dresses--her designs are really flattering on women of any size.
My Fitness Pal will give you the amount of calories you should eat daily. Here's how it works:
It's definitely doable but you will have to kick some serious calorie and cardio booty. Ten pounds a month is a difficult goal when you have to sustain the same rate of loss over a long period of time. A nutritionist and a reputable trainer should be able to help you put together a plan.
Some issues: dress fittings will not wait until the last day. For the amount that you want to lose, September should be your ideal time period unfortunately. How about 50lbs and then you can just work on maintaining?
@EvaBostonTerrier: Thank you for the advice on making smaller more achievable goals. It's very scary trying to change your life into a healthy one when it's been so bad for so many years. Turning 35 has made me realize that life is going by so fast, and I want to spend many more years here with my friends and family. A whole lifestyle change seems so difficult & drastic right now, but you're right, a small goal of losing 5 lbs. is much easier.
@lefeymw: Thank you for those positive words and suggestions. I definitely need to work on improving my inner health as well as my physical body, and this is an issue I've struggled with my entire life. And whoa, wouldn't it be amazing to have to alter my dress in several inches, lol? Great idea on the corset back!
@misslene: Awwww, thanks for the reminder that my guy loves me regardless. I needed that little boost! And Maggie dresses are fabulous, I agree.
@DesireeAnne: Thanks so much for explaining that site, I will go check it out ASAP. I was browsing on Sparkpeople the other day, but it was a little confusing. I've already cut out my soda consumption (which was atrocious), but my portion control skills are severely lacking. I eat way too much, I eat even when I'm full, I eat when I'm depressed, lonely, bored, etc. If you truly don't mind, I will take you up on that PM offer soon.
@AudzinLuv: I am more than willing to help at any time. Please do take me up on my offer. =)
I don't want to add a negative note here, but our original date was 27th July last year. I didn't lose the weight for that date. We only postponed because of money, though.
It's so hard to find the motivation - it usually doesn't matter what everyone else says, it's something so hard to define that happens inside your own head.
I only found my mojo this week, really, and like yourself I would love to lose 70-80 for the weding, but I really don't have that kind of time. Now I'm working on a reasonable but still kind of tough 30-40. I'll just have to do at that lol!
If you start a sensible plan now, or the minute you get out of bed tomorrow morning, you have what, 32 ish weeks? That is a great amount of time, at say 2lb per week, which is perfectly doable, that's 64 lbs down. That'd be perfect, wouldn't it?
You need to be healthy and happy on your wedding day: the particular number on the scale or on the tag of your dress isn't really that important. I didn't read all of the other responses cos it's bedtime here, but you can still eat quite a lot and have dramatic weight loss - particularly in the first 20 or so lbs down. Just keep reducing intake until you stop losing, more or less!
It's the silver lining to having a lot of weight to lose - you can lose a lot of weight fairly quickly!
Plenty of lean meat & fish, all the veg & fruit you want, and easy on the carbs, specially the fried and sugary nasties. Lots of water. As much exercise as you can happily do without injury.
Mrs. Glasses' recent blog post on weight loss is really quite good. I know she didn't have as much to lose as us, but the main points are still the same.
Best of luck, chick, and try not to let it get you down. Every day you work on it is another day closer to your goal, so don't wait any longer to start!
I just wanted to chime in and add that I LOVE myfitnesspal, it's really great. The "friends" feature and messageboards also help you to not feel alone in your efforts! My name on there is lezerlies if you decide to sign up and want a friend on there. :)
Don't change your day!
I was the heaviest I have ever been at my wedding. Looking at pictures I am not the happiest with my weight but in those pictures everyone had a smile on their face, including me. I had never seen my hubby more happy or had he thought I looked more beautiful. Start being a healthier you now, and by your wedding, no matter what size, you feel so much better.
I really hate the stigma weddings put on woman to look "perfect". I mean look at the pictures of wedding dresses in magazines; they all show some teeny tiny, lanky looking woman who makes any dress look absolutely glamorous because its so huge on her. In reality thats not what most brides look like. Is it just me or does even the "plus size' dress models even look like they are in great shape??
Your beautiful the way you ARE. Your wedding day, your dress or anything about your looks will not reflect who you are on your wedding day or how your husband thinks of you. The reason he is marrying you that day is because your a pretty awesome person. And THAT is what the entire day is about! Now flaunt what yo momma gave ya! ;)
I think it's doable. I second the fitness and nutrition tips everyone else has already said, and I would add that if it's not in the house, you won't be tempted. So be super strict with yourself in the grocery store, and then when you're at home raiding the cupboards for something to snack on, you'll only have healthy choices.
I'm a big fan of the "smaller meals more frequently" routine. I recently lost 20 pounds and two dress sizes eating 1400 calories a day (broken into 5 meals of a few hundred or so calories each) and working out regularly, and despite the fact that this was a huge calorie restriction from what I used to eat, I actually felt like I was eating more!
My other piece of advice is to get out of the house. If you find that you're sitting around eating and not doing much else, go for a walk or run an errand you've been putting off. Just like mindless eating is a habit, you can find ways to make not eating into a habit too. Three brisk 10-minute walks a day can apparently do wonders for your fitness level, not to mention your health.
@AudzinLuv:It's not all about the pounds ladies, at least for me it's not. If you are working out and including some weight lifting you will look amazing. Maybe the goal should be tone and healthy instead of loosing sooo many pounds. Just a suggestion.
Statistically it is easier to lose weight than gain it. You can def reach this goal. P90x everyday girl! And drink only water, no juice, no soda, and no coffee and especially no alcohol. No sweets and cakes or candies (that include chocolate and gum). No pork or red meat! Try to keep fruit portions to 2-3x a day, no more than that. You can eat all the cake and meat you want on your wedding. My friend has done it and so has my sister. My friend did p90x everyday and my sister did zumba and tae bo everyday. Along with a healthy diet. Do not ever skip meals because you def not lose the weight. Never eat like you feel full or ready to explode. Try to eat every 3 hours with small snack (like a fruit, veggie sticks, or a yogurt, or piece of cheese) in bewteen and eat meal portions the size of your fist. Do this and you will reach your goal! So excited for you. you can do it, i promise, just think of your wedding day and dress!
@AudzinLuv: I'm so sorry you're feeling bad about things. I can identify with feeling emotional and sometimes down on myself during that certain time of the month. I don't think you should postpone your wedding. As one previous poster noted, your fiance loves you and thinks you're beautiful (and wants to marry you!) for who you are and just as you are. I think that you can come close to reaching your goal weight in a healthy way. My mom lost close to the amount of weight that you want to lose, and she did it naturally (no supplements, no surgery, etc.) and at a steady rate...and she has kept the weight off for years! Here are my suggestions...
I agree with the poster that indicated that it sucks that the wedding industry complex causes women to feel bad about themselves and how they look, but I also agree with the poster who said that you should consider making this an overall life goal instead of just a goal for the wedding. I wish you luck and I hope this helps!
OMG! You can do this. All I have to say is P90X and Michi's ladder. If you follow this workout regimine and diet plan you will be more than in shape for your wedding!!!!!
It will be hard work, but you don't need anything but a few free weights and that's it. I did the P90X lean and I feel AMAZING! I have always worked out, but I wanted to tone up for my wedding and this is the best.
Good luck, just stay focused and motivated. If you want it you will get it. this is a 3 month program, so you will have plenty of time.
Just a suggestion. :)
You gals are the absolute best! I want to thank each one of you for all the great advice and encouraging words that have pulled me back out of my mini-depression. I am scheduling my first dress appointment in the morning with a shop that carries some plus size samples, and instead of thinking how fat I am, I hope to be saying how gorgeous I look! And I've lost 2 lbs. this week, yay me!!!! Hugs to all of you awesome bees!
@AudzinLuv: so glad you pulled yourself out of your funk.
You are going to that dress appointment tomorrow and you are going to rock those dresses girl!
OMG seriously 2lb in a week is amazing!! That's the highest amount that doc's recommend in one week (shows like Biggest Loser are sooo unreasonable). I lost 40lb about 10 years ago in 6 months doing about 2lb/week, so YOU CAN DO IT!!
I gained much of the weight back over college and the ultimate in making you gain weight, grad school, so right now I'm losing again. I use the free application LoseIt! on my iPod and it is fantastic! It sounds exactly like My Fitness Pal, only it's portable so you never forget to log in your food. And it saves your meals so if you eat the same thing for breakfast everyday, you just add the previous day's breakfast instead of re-selecting everything every day.
@AudzinLuv: Congrats on the 2-lb. weight loss!!! That's a great, healthy amount of weight to lose in a week! I hope you have an amazingly awesome dress fitting! :-)
Just focus on becoming a healthy eater. Make a lifestyle change. The weight will start to shed automatically. That is what happened with me. I wanted to lose weight in around Aug 2010. By October 2010, I had reduced 10 lbs. Then I started doing P90x (though not following their meal plan), but continued to lose weight and then lost another 10 lbs by December 2010. My focus was not really on the scale. There was a whole month where I was stagnant. My focus was just on feeling and eating healthier. The weight loss was a side benefit. I feared that if I focus TOO MUCH on losing the weight, I will definitely screw myself over. I also did not meet my goal but I was off by 3 lbs only. However, I still hadn't reached the goal even though I gave myself 5 months to lose 25 lbs. That was very liberal timing. The only reason I wasn't upset was 1) I felt a whole lot healthier, and 2) I could 'see' the results I was getting with P90x and the firming and toning kept me giddy! (I'm still doing the workouts!) I'm only halfway through it. And it already helped SO MUCH!!!
I do skip days occassionally, I also do eat chocolate and/or cake as the occassion calls for it. But definitely, DEFINITELY portion control especially in these fattenining objects.
And yes, I bought my dress before I lost half of the weight. I bought it with a corset back and that was an intelligent move in my opinion.
I think you can lose the weight you want by September. You lost two pounds already, and you have 32 weeks to go. If you keep that rate up you can loose 64 to 70 pounds in a healthy way. Like others have said, loving yourself is most important, but if it will make you feel better to lose the weight than do it. What's stopping you? Nothing, you can do it! Just stay dedicated and try not to miss a workout session. If you miss one it will be easy to slack of the next day, and then the next, so stay dedicated. Good Luck!
First of all, you are beautiful no matter how much you weight. You need to recognize that.
September is over 7 months away. I joined Weight Watchers with 75# to loose about 6 years ago, and had lost over 60# within 7 months. It IS doable.
Also, read this blog post. It resonated so much with me when I read it.
http://apracticalwedding.com/2010/07/a-way-to-weigh-what-you-weigh-when-you-wed/
Hi OP! I am in the same boat! I'll just tell it like it is- I weight 180 and I want to be 150... or preferably 145 on my wedding day. I'm 5'2". I'd like to lose this weight by July 31st and then maintain until the wedding on August 20th. It has been a battle for sure.
Since Thanksgiving I have lost 5 pounds. I did it mainly by trying to reduce my alcohol intake and counting calories on spark people.
Sometimes I panic, thinking I am never going to get the 30 pounds off by July. I decided to do little goals to keep myself more organized.
By the end of January- 175. By the end of February- 170. By the end of the March- 165. By the end of April- 160. By the end of May- 155. By the end of June- 150. By the end of July- 145. Even if I only make it to 150, I will be happy.
You have all my support!!!! I know we can do it. I have tons of friends who have lost a significant amount of weight and kept it off... I know we can do this. And just so you know, I already went dress shopping, even at this weight. I had to order a size 16. But I found a dress I LOVED and I was very pleased with the whole experience (I had been DREADING it because of my weight.)
Best of luck!!!!!
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Ok, bees, I'm feeling kind of emotional right now, it's the wrong time of the month, and so please excuse the pity party.
I feel like a big, fat failure. I keep seeing pictures of all these beautiful brides who look spectacular in their tiny dresses, and I'm a disgusting blob. I want to lose weight and get in shape this year, finally, but it's a huge task (70-80lbs.) I doubt it can be done by September, and I don't want to even step foot into a bridal shop to try on dresses looking the way I do.
So, is it reasonable to make this goal and try to meet it in say a year, or should I keep my wedding date the way it is, and learn to love myself the way I am? I'm not happy today.....