(Closed) Is this a weird way of seating people?

posted 5 years ago in Reception
Post # 3
Member
46160 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Given that many people are travelling and will get to see people they do not see very often, I think most of them would prefer to sit in like groups.

While it is always interesting to chat with and get to know new people, the reality is that if they have travelled, they are unlikely to ever see these new people again.

Post # 4
Member
785 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I would rather be at a table with friends…especially if I haven’t seen those friends in a long time or if we are really close.

Post # 5
Member
1114 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@MrsDocHorrorShow:  Mr CL and I went to a wedding recently where they mixed everyone up and we had an amazing time!  We ended up spending all evening with our new friends Smile

Post # 6
Member
4352 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@julies1949:  +1. Unless everyone is local, I want to use your wedding as an excuse to see some of my friends from school/relatives who I haven’t seen in forever. As much as I am attending to see you get married, I also want to see that uncle I never get to see because we live on opposite sides of the country. Or that friend from high school who moved away.

If I’m local, feel free to seat me with some other local friends of yours who you think I might like. Maybe I’ll make a new friend. It would be a shame to make a new friend who I will only ever see at your wedding since we don’t live near each other.

Post # 7
Member
2335 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I’m the person who immediately pretends to go asleep on planes so that no “interesting strangers” try to spark up a conversation while we’re forced together in a flying tube.  I would hate being seated away from my family/friends at a wedding.

Post # 8
Member
9230 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

I agree with PPs.  Often at weddings, it’s a time to get together with dear friends or family you haven’t seen for a while.  I get REALLY annoyed when I’m forced to sit with strangers so we can “mingle”, instead of sitting with people I love and want to catch up with.  Once the drinks start flowing after dinner, people mingle pretty well on their own…

Post # 9
Member
1734 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

We were torn on this, because part of what we were looking forward to from our wedding was having everyone from different parts of our lives meet each other. But we also knew that we A) had a lot of introverts, and B) knew that people who hadn’t seen each other in a long time would want to catch up. We ended up mostly breaking everyone out into “safe” tables — my high school folks, his high school folks, my grad school friends, his grad school friends, etc.

AND YET — when we did this, we definitely ended up with a “random” table of people who didn’t quite fit anywhere else. We felt bad assigning them to the “you don’t fit in a clear category” table…but actually, some of these people had the best time, I think. Some of them told us how much they loved getting to know the other couples, and many of them friended each other on Facebook then. (This was also the case for the “significant others of the wedding party” table.)

Long story short — you know your groups of family and friends to know for whom this would be fun and for whom it would stress them out big time. We ultimately decided to have a post-rehearsal party to promote mixing and mingling, but kept people in their comfort zones for the reception.

Post # 10
Member
88 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@MrsDocHorrorShow:  i like the more traditional way, not strangers

Post # 11
Member
658 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

We seated everyone with friends/family but we had a couple friends that we needed to place somewhere. We ended up putting them with family friends and they had a ball! They’re friends on FB! They were all very outgoing people though. It could have gone the other way where they hated being just thrown together.

Post # 12
Member
4046 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I don’t like having to make small talk with “interesting strangers.” I find the conversation usually peters out. I’d rather get the chance to catch up with far flung relatives or friends.

Post # 13
Member
9955 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Lol, as the Etiquette Snob that I am…

When it comes to General Seating at a Wedding (so not the Head Table, or any specific tables put aside for the Bride’s Parents, Groom’s Parents, Bridal Party, etc)

I like the more traditional method, of mixed seating for a Dinner Party / Event… where one’s table mates are made up of those you know, and those you don’t

This ensures that anyone visiting from afar, who may not know sooo many, have folks to chat with.

Otherwise, the odd-men-out all tend to end up at one table… and that can be be a bit awkward, IMO

Truly, it is only for DINNER anyhow… because if one’s Reception has a Dancing / Social portion, then that is when folks tend to mingle, and move beyond their own table seating.

Hopefully, by that time in the event, the “newcomers” (in this example Paul & Diane Brown) have met some folks, and are a bit more comfortable mingling themselves

BUT it is always nice if say table mates Aunt Martha & Uncle Bob later on in the Evening when Cousin Joan stops by the table, says… “Paul & Diane, this is Joan, she is our eldest daugher, and cousin to the Bride… Joan these are the Browns, they are from ___ and went to college with the Groom”

But then again, one has to hope that the fine art of Manners & Introductions, might be something that your Guests are familiar with.

 

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