Post # 1
I have a group of 4 friends from highschool who I’d like to invite to our wedding. Unfortunately, I’m in the middle of pruning our guestlist, and I can not accomodate the 4 of them, plus 4 partners/guests. At the moment, (9 months out from our wedding) two of them have been with their bf’s longer than a year, and the other two have been with them for a few months. Is it acceptable to not invite partners in this case? They were all in the same group of friends in highschool, so it’s not like they wouldn’t know anyone else (I’d seat them at the same table, etc). The only other friend from the same group is my bestie, who is a bridesmaid and who will be receiving a “plus guest” invite (though she’s single, and I highly doubt she’ll bring anyone). FWIW, our guest list is sitting at about 75, so it’s not like it’s a huge wedding.
Post # 3
The rule I think is common is the “engaged or living together” rule for plus 1’s. That might make it easier to make a decision, especially if youre trying to prune the guest list a bit!
Post # 4
I think the rule listed above works well – but I would advise waiting to worry about these things. Your guestlist will inevitably change by the time you get closer to the wedding. If you’re sending STDs out, you can be vague in the names on them, and you don’t have to send them to everyone – we only sent ours to OOT guests and it saved us a lot of headaches when we ended up having to cut some people later, because there was a section of our list that we realized were only there because they were local, and we weren’t as close to them as to others who lived further away. Fortunately, we hadn’t send STDs to everyone and could easily trim those people without offending.
Post # 5
The engaged or living together rule is a good one but if you really cant afford the extra people I think it will be ok to exclude partners, especially if you dont know them personally. As long as they know other people and are not traveling from out of town, they should be able to leave the boyfriends at home for the night.
My FI has been invited to several weddings by coworkers, before we were engaged but were living together, and i was not invited and i was fine with it.