Post # 1
One of the things I love about this forum is I can vet things like this before I say or do something stupid…
We have had a guest ask if they can bring their kids, who were not on the invite. The irony is we did online RSVPs and I actually wrote on someone else’s thread that the benefit of this is you can only RSVP for who’s on your invite and no one else, so there’s no way to add anyone!
Well, let me tell you, I was wrong. This is the third guest who has added in the comments section of the RSVP submission form something about bringing someone else! Anyhow, we ARE inviting kids, at least that was our intention. However, this couple happens to be my FI’s cousins and FI’s parents were adament there was no need to invite the children of the cousins (he has a massive family so they had to draw the line somewhere). So they have emailed us and are flying in to the wedding from another state and are bringing their 9 and 11 year old children. She was very nice in her request and asked if they could come along and said they are very well behaved.
I am more than happy to have them at the reception, but the problem is our ceremony site has very strict guidelines on how many guests can fit in and we are VERY close to that number. We were conservative in our estimates so there will likely be some room to move, but I won’t know until closer to the RSVP date. Our ceremony site is part of a historical village which has a musuem nearby as well. So my thoughts were to tell her we’d love for the kids to come to the reception but unfortuantely we have a limited number of seats at the ceremony site. However, the kids could spend that hour in the village or the musuem (however, you have to pay for this – whereas if you’re just going to the wedding, admission is free).
Is this appropriate to offer that option? I was going to add if we ended up having room, I would let them know and they could come to the ceremony. There will be other children at the ceremony too, which is also a bit awkward if their kids don’t come (but I guess the reason is capacity, not that no kids can come).
Thoughts?! Thanks bees!!!
Post # 3
If other kids are already going to be at the ceremony, then I have a feeling this will become a huge problem. Is the ceremony venue really going to notice two kids?
If you think those two kids are going to put you over the limit, then you should explain honestly why it could be an issue.
Post # 4
I don’t know anyone else’s that been married there to ask if they are that strict in reality, but the contract we signed says no more than 125 including everyone in the building and that there will be a security guard there to monitor it. The building is historically protected if that helps make sense of the situation. Our contact at the venue has also reminded us three seperate times in an email no more than 125.
I’m definitely a “play by the rules” kind of person on a normal day, but on my wedding day I am NOT risking it. Not sure what they would do – turn people away?
Post # 5
@midwestgirl80: I think that would be fine! It’s not like her kids were invited, expecially if you let her know if you do have room. It’s not a “I don’t want your kids there” Its a “I’m sorry the venue said no more than 125 people, if someone sends me a decline on the RSVP, I’ll let you know asap!”
Post # 6
@Brittanyg20: I agree with this.
I would also mention to her that the other cousin’s kids won’t be there either. If the kids can’t hang out with their family they might not be as interested in attending. How about…
“The venue’s max is 125 so unfortunately we couldn’t accomodate all of the cousin’s kids. We don’t mind squeezing yours in if there’s a cancellation though.:
Post # 7
Thanks Brittanyq20 and AlwaysSunny! Yes, I think that wording is good… might say exactly that haha 😉 I’ll let you know how it goes…
Post # 8
Just wanted to let everyone know how this went – I emailed her back and explained the situation in all honesty. And she was SO nice and understanding! She said the kids would probably rather go explore the surrounding attraction anyways, and she was more than happy for them just to come to the reception.
Phew! Crisis averted. This confirms my general belief that it’s always better to be honest 🙂
Post # 9
I am guessing the historical village is probably Greenfield Village just from the clues. I would differently say that if there room they are welcome to come but other wise let them know what the cost of the measuem and village are in which the children would be able to wonder through. If i am guessing right the village and the measuem can be very pricey but you could also mention the IMAX as potenial place of entertainment but this is off course assuming that I am guessing right.
Post # 10
It is Greenfield Village! 🙂 I gave her the prices in my email, so she knows what to expect. They’re flying in from another state so it’s a full-on vacation for them and in all likelihood, they would end up going there anyways. Good idea on the Imax, I will suggest that too!