Is this asking too much of parents?

posted 3 years ago in Parenting
  • poll: Is sending a picture or skype asking too much of parents?
    Yes, parents are already stressed enough as it is! : (24 votes)
    17 %
    No, parents should be able to snap a pic with their iPhone and text it to you : (120 votes)
    83 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2243 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: January 2012

    I think that depending on the circumstance, parents might be too overwhelmed to do this individually. I figure it would be enough for them to mention the gift next time they see you & thank you for it (which they haven’t done). I’m not a big photo-taker, though so that kind of request for photos & videos would be a bit of a burden for me…

    I know its a little off-topic but you sound like you’re really into these gender-role imposing gifts… To be honest, I’d be less than pleased if someone bought my daughter a toy vaccum. Maybe your siblings didn’t like them either.

    Post # 5
    Member
    2243 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: January 2012

    @MrsEdamame:  I’m so relieved that this is the explaination; my bad for assuming! I definitely think your sister should have mentioned the gift the next time you guys spoke. It could have slipped her mind though.

    Post # 7
    Member
    2243 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: January 2012

    @MrsEdamame:  Ahh!  So sorry! Totally misunderstanding on my end!!

    Post # 8
    Member
    2878 posts
    Sugar bee

    @MrsEdamame:  I would be like you, disappointed not to have a feedback on a gift that was appreciated. FI’s sister posted a picture of FI’s nephew playing with the Lego Castle he had bought him for Christmas. I really thought it was sweet of her to do so, since we couldn’t be there when he opened it. It doesn’t take much time and effort, but it’s a great way of saying thank you. I’m not sure how I would bring this up in a conversation though. But I understand how you feel. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    1867 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    We live away from all family members, and we have a strict rule of making sure the gift giver knows how much our daughter liked the gift. For Christmas, we skype with my parents and our daughter opens their presents to her and they open our presents to them. Same with her birthday. For other relatives, we take pictures and I email the pics to them with a thank you message written (or dictated, when she was little) by her.

    I think it’s really not a big deal to ask/expect the parents of children to take a quick pic or show you a video or skype with them. Most parents are attached to their cameras or their smartphones and can do this quite easily. I think it’s considerate to make sure the gift giver knows it’s been received and appreciated, personally. And it takes no extra effort on my part to do so.

    Post # 11
    Member
    407 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    We live 4 hours away from our 5 month old niece, and my SIL sends us pictures of her about once a week. We have received a picture of her in every one of the outfits that we bought her.

    Our niece is an only child so they take a ton of pictures of her, but I imagine it gets harder to remember to do stuff like that if you have more than one child. 

     

    Post # 12
    Member
    2878 posts
    Sugar bee

    @kittyface: I think it’s really not a big deal to ask/expect the parents of children to take a quick pic or show you a video or skype with them. Most parents are attached to their cameras or their smartphones and can do this quite easily.

    Totally agree with you. How come they have time to take a hundred pictures of their bbabies/kids a day, but wouldn’t have time to Facebook/Instagram one on their child’s birthday to let the giver know the gift was received and enjoyed ? Honestly, I stopped giving my stepcousins gifts after 2 events, because they litterally went from one gift to another not even taking the time to see what they were having. And their parents barely ever said thank you to me. So I decided enough with the materialistic display that was going on. I will only offer gifts when I know they will be truly appreciated, they’re not even my kids so if you can’t even enjoy having a cousin spoiling you or your kids, then you don’t deserve it.

     

    Post # 13
    Member
    677 posts
    Busy bee

    Even though we live in the same area, I don’t spend Christmas with my niece and nephew (my cousin’s kids – he’s with his mom, I’m with mine) but at some point before dinner, I always make a point to call my cousin on Christmas, after I’m sure they’re done opening gifts to see how the kids like it, and talk to my niece about her present (nephew was only a year and a half last Christmas). It may not be a photo, but I actually really like the verbal confirmation from her.

    Post # 15
    Member
    42522 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @MrsEdamame:  There is no excuse for not sending a thank you card. These parents need to teach their children how to be polite human beings and that starts when they are very young.

    In lieu of that, a skype session seems pretty easy to me. Extended family is important, and these relationships need to be maintained. Have you tried initiating the session- setting a date and time?

    Too many of today’s parents act like parenting is so much harder and time consuming than it used to be. In fact, that is not the case at all. We have so many time savers our mothers and grandnothers didn’t have, but we also waste more time with electronics, social media etc etc etc.

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