(Closed) Is this awkward?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
4352 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@anonybeelalala:  Very. Maybe she thought she was only invited to do BM’s hair and didn’t want to take up space at the reception?

Post # 4
3608 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

Yes, very odd. I don’t know why she would do that unless she just doesn’t want to come to your wedding.

Post # 5
2009 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Strange bird.

Post # 6
1093 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Maybe I’m not totally understanding but she offered to do the hair reguardless of coming to the wedding. Even though they declined the wedding she assumed she’s still doing the girls hair because there was no discussion otherwise.

For me I wouldn’t think it was awkward, for what ever reason they can’t make the wedding but she’s wanting to still be a part of the wedding with you and your girls.

Post # 7
1902 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

It’s possible she’s got another party on that evening or, what I think is more likely, she doesn’t feel close enough to you to come to your wedding, but is still happy to give you a wedding present (doing the bridesmaids’ hair on the day). On the other hand, does she expect to be paid for doing the hair? She may think of this more as a business arrangement than a gift to you.

Depending on how well you know her, possibly say something to her, like “It’ll feel weird heading our separate ways after getting ready, are you sure you can’t come?”

Post # 8
483 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

There could be a million reason she can’t make it that night… Kids need a sitter, hubby has to work, she has an alcohol problem and wants to avoid the open bar?  Who knows.  Don’t read into it, and be glad you’re not scrambling for a hairdresser. I would thank her profusely.  

Post # 11
1902 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@anonybeelalala:  “…if she’s not coming to the wedding, why can’t she do it in her salon or house?”

You said earlier that her salon was a little far from the venue – perhaps she feels it could be tricky for your bridesmaid to get from the salon to the venue on time (especially if she’s going to go via the hotel to get dressed with you and the other bridesmaids). She might also feel that you will want all your bridesmaids with you as much as possible during the day, rather than sneaking one away to do her hair. When my SIL got married, one of the bridesmaids went to the supermarket to get deodorant (forgetting her phone), and caused a huge panic when she wasn’t back for an hour! Perhaps she has a similar experience when she got married and wants to make sure you know where everyone is at all times.

Post # 12
8320 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Maybe she is upset that you didn’t ask her to do your hair? Like her work isn’t good enough for you? Just a theory.

or she could just have something else on.

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