Post # 1
Me and my Fiance don’t exaclty have a ton of cash just laying around. Is is bad that we probably aren’t getting each other gifts for the wedding day and the only brides maid that is getting a gift is my maid of honor. The gift to my other bridesmaid is the fact that I’m buying her dang dress for her. Personally I don’t even like the girl she’s guilty by association because it’s my fiance’s sister. She a nice person, but she is a dead beat and she has a way of sucking people dry for whatever they have. My Maid of honor is more or less like a sister and a bestfriend in one so I’m giving her a salt water black pearl necklace that I bought in tahiti and we both will be wearing a black pearl. (I’m giving it to her away from His sister. LOL) Anyways I hear about how you have to get every flipping person a dang gift and I don’t have that kind of money to be buying people a bunch of crap that they probably will never use LOL. Though I am probably going to buy a little something for my parents. I guess me and my fiance are weird. I never new about the whole BM, Parents, FH, GM gifts before until now.
Post # 3
I’m having a hard time with this, mostly because I want to do something nice for the people that helped make our wedding happen. I understand that you may not be close to your fiance’s sister, but if you’re doing something for one bridesmaid (and the way I’m reading this, you only have two, correct?), it’s not it’s really fair to not do something for the other. But that’s just my personal opinion.
I understand being on a budget–how about doing something small for her, like a handmade piece of jewelry or something?
Post # 4
You titled your post, “Is this bad?” so to answer your question, yes it is bad. You probably already know that. I’m feeling sorry for your fiance’s sister and I don’t even know her. With only two attendants, it is very thoughtless to buy one a gift and give it to her privately while buying your future sister-in-law nothing but her dress (which was your choice and which she may never wear again). She is going to be a part of your family and you chose to have her in your wedding. You’re getting married – it’s time to grow up.
Post # 5
Why don’t you send the pertinent parties a nice card after the wedding thanking them for being part of your day? No one ever said you had to buy presents but it is nice to say thank you in some form.
Post # 6
I agree, I think you should get your other bridesmaid something, even if it’s small. A gift certificate or a small piece of jewelry would be nice.
Post # 7
As for not giving your FI a gift, my husband and I didn’t give each other gifts. We just thought it wasn’t necessary, between wedding expenses and our actual rings.
I’m not sure what the deal with her being a deadbeat is, or how it came to be that you are paying for her dress. It sounds like you are having her in the wedding because your FI or his parents put your feet to the fire about it. And I’m guessing you somehow got roped into paying for her dress. (That may or may not have been fair to you, since this is a family situation, and in laws can be difficult.) However, for the very reason why you didn’t stand up to insist she not be a BM, is the same reason why you need to also provide her with a gift. (You don ‘t need to start your marriage on the wrong foot with your in-laws. And by snubbing the sister, you would be stirring problems with your MIL.)
You made it seem like no one would know you provided you MOH with her gift, but if both of you are going to be walking down the aisle wearing the same black water pearls….
I’m not sure if it’s necessary to give gifts to parents, but it sure sounds like a nice idea. And if they contributed to the wedding, it’s a nice way of saying thanks.
Post # 8
I think you crazy for having someone in the wedding that you don’t truely want to be in it. It’s your day, do it how you want.
Post # 9
I think that it is fine that you are not getting her a gift I would look at it like the dress is just that. Me and my FI are also not going to do the gift thing all the money is going to the wedding. As for the parents I am making my mom a bracelet. I do not plan on getting my FMIL anything cause she is not contributing to the wedding. My FFIL is in the wedding as best man so he is getting a room at the hotel along with the rest of the wedding party. You can only do what you can and for that matter what you want!
Post # 10
I’;ve known my MOH since she was 3 and I was five I’m now 22. Surgie I was more reffering to is this bad for the Fiance gifting stuff. I have no problem getting people stuff.I came off as a bitch in this, but you can feel sorry for the girl all you want LOL. Her own family doesn’t really even like her (my Fiance’s sister) She causes a lot of problems or at least she did. I like her sometimes, but I told another person in a private message that she just has a big way of sticking everyones last nerve. Well there is no use in argueing over this, but I’m just going to get her a little lotion thing or something from victoria secret. I don’t know her well enough to get her anything else. Call me Cheap if you like cause I’m my mothers daughter and my mom is the same way. We hate spending money but love saving it. OH and before anyone says that If I don’t have money than why am I getting married blah blah blah…. I do, but it’s all in a saving and stuff. Sorry if I come off being a bitch.