Post # 1
I have a friend I mentioned our wedding to, but he rarely calls me when he comes to town and his wife hasn’t even met my FI (he’s only met my FI once). I’ve been going back and forth on whether to invite them for months.
We are having a really small wedding 30-40 people, and it turns out more family from overseas are coming than we intended. I haven’t r sent a save the date to this friend, and have yet to send invites. We used to be close but now we are not. Is it horrible if I don’t invite him since I verbally invited him when we first got engaged?
Also, he drinks a LOT and I am worried as there won’t be alcohol on our premises and it’s a city park property so I am worried about him sneaking it in.
But the main reasons I don’t want to is that A. I want to keep it small and B. my friend made weird comments when I told him I got engaged “oh so soon” and such.
And should I just not mention it or actually explain to him that it’s going to just be family and bridal party (primarily true; I have 3 other close friends who may come).
Post # 3
- Wedding: September 2014 - Turf Valley
I wouldn’t invite him, and I just wouldn’t mention it. If he’s gutsy enough to question where his invitation is, then you can explain that due to budget, it’s family and very close friends only.
Post # 4
Don’t invite him, don’t explain.
No one has the right to attend your wedding – it’s an honor to be invited.
So there is no need to explain yourself if you can’t invite someone.
Post # 5
I would just tell him you guys decided to have a very small wedding, family and bridal party only.
Post # 6
Don’t invite. Next time you speak don’t make first mention of the wedding plans. If he inquires let him know you are having a very small, family only celebration.
Plans change from when we first get engaged. DDon’t feel bad.
Post # 7
Don’t invite him and if he asks about it just explain what you said above, you are having a small party and yo uhad more family that wanted to come than anticipated which meant you couldn’t have as many friends as you would have liked.
Post # 8
I don’t think that counts as uninviting unless you have told him he is being invited.
Post # 9
When you say you “verbally invited him” what do you mean exactly. Did you say “you will be invited to our wedding” ?
Post # 10
@FortiesFlare: Yes, by verbally invited I said please come to our wedding.
Then his attitude about it being “so soon” after I met my fi <2 years and the fact he never calls when he comes to town, and that his wife who comes to town a lot too has never even met my fi, put me off. As did the fact I am trying to keep numbers down. And if I invite him I have to invite his dad, too.
Post # 11
It is not horrible if you don’t invite him! Totally cool for the reasons you listed. How/if to tell him – I guess it depends on if you want to continue to have a relationship with this guy or not. If not – feel free to burn the bridge and say nothing. He will figure it out when they don’t get an invite. If you do want to remain some type of friends, then I think you need to let him know that he is not invited (email or something is fine, you don’t need to say it to his face). If someone told me I was invited, I would totally think I was invited, so would appreciate being told otherwise. Keep in mind that your feelings about him have changed, but his about you may have not (i.e. he may not think you are not as friendly as you used to be). Give the reasons above, that it is going to be a smaller shindig than you expected at first, or whatever, any excuse is fine.