Is this crazy?!?!

posted 3 years ago in Elopement
Post # 3
Member
4441 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

If your parents are ok with it what is the problem with living together before marriage?

 

P.S. You only have one WEDDING, so your other would be like a family reception or something else….

Post # 5
Member
1787 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I know you will get mixed reviews on this, but I personally think it would be fine to have, essentially, 2 weddings.  As a guest/friend I would celebrate as if it’s your first.  Do what works best for you two. 🙂

Post # 6
Member
1721 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

You can definitely do this!  Its all about you guys, so why not!  I know multiple people that have done this…they elope and then get “married” a year or so later with all family/friends.

Post # 7
Member
744 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@luckylady3090:  

I think if you are okay with it and your FI and both of your parents then why not?  In discussing wedding plans I’ve learned you will never make everyone happy so I would just concentrate on making the most important people happy.

SO and I are planning to legally get married with both of our families at a court house and then take them to the italian restaurant that we went to on our first date afterwards.

Then, we are thinking of doing a DW/honeymoon type thing and inviting our friends.  It will work out well because neither of our families are keen on traveling and doing a big wedding here would be super expensive.  Sometimes I feel like having the second ceremony will be a little overkill but I guess I will see what happens.

Post # 9
Member
8706 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

You can absolutely have two weddings. My husband and I got married via Justice of the Peace (for various reasons) in December and we had a big white wedding in June. We had a lot of fun! Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about having two weddings — You can damn well have two if you want! It doesn’t have to be a “vow renewal” if you don’t want it to be.

Post # 11
Member
3618 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@luckylady3090:  You can have two weddings and anyone that says otherwise just has never been in the position to do so. 

Post # 12
Member
1871 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I think it would be a little difficult to keep it a secret from everyone until the wedding, especially if you do have family at the elopement.

Do whatever you want though! It’s your wedding. Just dont be too bummed if people find out you are already married and the ceremony/reception in April is more of a vow renewal. I am sure they will still want to celebrate with you!

Post # 13
Member
1988 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

If it works for you, go for it!

People in my country actually cannot get legally married in a religious ceremony because of a strictly carried out separation of church and state. So those who want a religious ceremony actually end up having two ceremonies, a civil one and a religious one. Some schedule them on the same day but it may be quite a daunting task organisation-wise so a lot of people who want a religious ceremony get the civil one “out of the way” earlier, sometimes even months in advance. It’s usually followed by a nice lunch for immediate family and that’s it. I guess you could still call it a wedding? Anyway, it’s a very, very common thing here. 

I hope that helps! 

Post # 15
Member
1103 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Not crazy at all!  I can’t speak for no regrets as it’s not something I have done, but it’s one of our options.  We are moving, so we might “elope” then have a big reception party later.  As far as I am concerned, a couple could have a wedding every single year if they wanted. 

I do second the keeping it a secret might be hard, I don’t know about your family, but if 11 of any of my family members were somewhere, everyone would hear about it 🙂  My mom and FMIL are both chit-chatters, and they would start telling the world. When my sister was pregnant, she told my mom not to announce it yet, then at dinner the next night, my mom says proudly that she has kept it quiet, she only told three people at work that day! 

Post # 16
Member
8706 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

@luckylady3090:  When we got legally married we only had his and my parents in attendance. We got married next to our christmas tree, in our lovely home with our parents, cat & dog. It was absolutely fantastic, no pressure, no stress, we just had a short, sweet, straight to the point ceremony. Then we had the long, drawn out fancy white wedding back home in California for everyone who couldn’t come to our ceremony. I got to meet a lot of his friends, he got to meet a lot of my friends, we all got to share a special day as one big family. We had relatively no stress when it came to the wedding planning, we did have an officiant but it was a family friend of both families and he was mostly there for support and keeping pace (And doing the “Mawage” speech from the Princess Bride) but really, there’s no reason to be nervous or stressed out. Get married to your love, enjoy your time together and then celebrate with everyone. There’s no shame in that.

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