- 8 years ago
- Wedding: March 2012
I have moved countries to live with the boy and have been here for 18months.
When I left the UK i quit a good job with prospects. At this time I had finance on a car, but I sold the car and broke even, I had about $3000 outstanding in a debt to my father and a $2500 student overdraft. I paid for myself through college.
I was managing to pay off these debts monthly and was managing comfortably. When I left the UK, my FI paid for my ticket. I was expecting to have money left over from the sale of my car and was also expecting about $4000 pay from work, but they deducted my pay due to some college courses they had paid for. certain length of time I would have to pay back a percentage of the course cost. So my last pay was $100!
After about 8 months of being in Oz my dad asked for me to start paying back the money I owed him, but advised that he would lower the cost if I just paid him a lump sum. My Fi paid him with some savings he had still in the UK.
We set up a joing bank account in Australia for visa purposes so any money earned in Australia is joint.
My FI supported me completely and after three weeks in new country I found a bar job, I was earning about $200 per week, but was also doing all the chores cleaning/cooking/ doing laundry/ making packed lunches when my FI started a job a few weeks later.
I then found a job with more hours working as a receptionist wed/thurs day, then fri/sat/sunday night until about 2am. When I was at work my FI would go out and usually spend more money than I was earning on that evening.
I now work at a good full-time job and make 45,000 per annum, exc bonuses and have been for the past year.
I hardly ever shop or spend money on myself. I wait about 3 months between hair cuts and don’t treat myself to coffee’s/mags. I’m pretty frugal.
FI and I used to argue about how he squandered money. He would often spend $200+ on nights out(weekly or bi-weekly), other money would just be squandered on him eating out, getting coffees, buying things etc. We tried to set up a budget where he would stick to a budget of $200 per week (just spending money) however this didn’t last long, I wasn’t on a budget as I would spend less than this anyway, maybe $70p/w?
My bank have recently contacted me and advised that I have to start paying off my overdraft. I told my Fi I would like to start redoing the budget but with me getting $200 per week also and anything I didn’t use would be put towards paying off my overdraft. I also offered to get a part-time job on the weekend and I would use that money too.
So this week was my birthday, Fi asks how much he should spend on present and I say about $200 as this is what I spent on him. He actually ended up spending over $500 which is ridiculous but what can I say without hurting his feelings?
He hasn’t managed to stick to his budget at all, and I think he has probably spend over $500 since thurs (Not including my b’day presents). I asked if I could also take out the same amount so we had spend the same amount and I could use it to pay off my overdraft but he has refused.
I earned $90 yesterday flipping burgers (Sun 8am – 12.30pm) and he went out and spent $50 on breakfast that he shouted his mum and sister!
Tell me if you think I’m being selfish. I don’t mind working at this place. I realise that this is my debt therefore my responsibility, but if he is continuing to squander OUR money why the hell should I be tight/frugal and get an extra job when he is just spending the same amount of money willy nilly?
It just doesn’t seem fair!