Post # 1
My wedding is quickly approaching and I’m worried that news about the wedding / photos / facebookery will hurt the feelings of people I wasn’t willing or able to invite. 1 person in particular. We were best friends through about 10th grade then started growing apart. We hardly stayed in touch in college, only hung out a couple times, and afterwards she ignored my attempts to reconnect. So I gave up. Now, 8 years since high school…I’m getting married and chose not to invite her. I know this might hurt her and feel bad, but frankly we could only afford about 15 friends, and I chose people who have been there for us the past couple years.
Was this a horrible thing to do, being as we were childhood best friends? Do any of you have advice for explaining wedding limitations to non-invited friends? There are a few others I wish I could have invited too. I feel really bad : (
Post # 3
If you are not close now, I don’t see why you would feel terrible. I wasn’t invited to one of my best friends from high schools wedding and she will not be invited to mine because she got mad at me about a decision I made in my own life. You are going to be surrounded by the people who matter most to you and your FI on your wedding day. Enjoy the people that are there. I don’t think you should worry about it.
Post # 4
Best advise is not to put wedding things on FB or only allow people that you want to see those post see them, use the blocking feature for each wedding post.
Post # 5
@VioletSky: You dont owe anyone an explanation, especially someone you used to be friends with 8 years ago. You guys arent friends, so why would she be invited?
I just wouldnt make mention of who you chose to invite and not invite. If anyone makes a comment you just say “We wanted a small wedding with just family and close friends”. End of discussion!
Post # 6
Just say it was a small wedding and you invited your current closest friends. End of story.
Post # 7
We didn’t do anything on FB except to change the status from In a Relationship to Engaged to Married.
We did an unplugged wedding and I set my privacy settings to approve everything prior to going live (even checkins and status updates).
Post # 8
I don’t see any reason why you should be worried about this she clearly had moved on and has no wishes on reconnected with you. That being said I don’t see any reason why any wedding plans should be broadcast all over fb if your friends list isn’t only close friends and family.
Post # 9
I don’t think you should feel bad for not inviting her if you aren’t really close to her now, especially since she chose to ignore your previous attempts at reconnecting with her. The guest list thing is hard, and I’m totally with you on feeling bad about not being able to invite certain friends due to space/budget constraints. Just focus on the fact that your nearest and dearest friends and family will be with you to share in your wedding day!
Post # 10
It would have been silly to invite someone whom you’ve had no contact with for 8 years.
Post # 11
I won’t be giving anyone an explanation of why I didn’t invite them. If they are rude enough to ask, I’ll give them the honest reason why – I don’t feel like we are good enough friends to have invited them.
Post # 12
If you haven’t had contact with her for 8 years, I doubt not getting an invite will surprise her. But as PPs said, limit the stuff you post on FB.
Post # 13
Thank you all for the advice, I really appreciate it. Since the engagement I haven’t mentioned wedding stuff on facebook (been using twitter for a few wedding updates, only have a couple friends on there and they are all coming) I’m worried about what other mutual friends are going to post, but can’t control that! About a year ago she texted that she wanted to get back in touch, I tried, she never responded…same old same old. I think I’m upset because not inviting her is kind of officially saying we’re not friends anymore, and I know she’ll be sad if she sees pics online….but I’m gonna follow you all’s advice and let it go. Thanks bees
Post # 14
FWIW, we eloped, BUT, since we had the dress, bouquet, photog etc… the pics I posted on fb look like I had a full-on wedding. Not a SINGLE person contacted me to ask “where was my invite??” so this whole thing might blow over for you too 🙂
Post # 15
No don’t worry about it; you can’t please everyone and everyone will not (and should not) expect to be invited.
My husband’s family was pretty ticked we didn’t invite his mother’s cousin’s youngest son and his fiancee to our wedding almost 4 months ago. They will get over it – I promise!