(Closed) Is this inappropriate? How would you feel?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Hostess
23641 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@lulubird:  I’m on board for you trying on dresses when you’re there as long as everyone else in your family is okay with it!

Post # 4
Member
3429 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@lulubird:  I wouldn’t have a problem with it if you tried them on when we were finished BM shopping. You could ask your FSIL if she minds and if she does, can you go back the next day or the day before?

Post # 5
Member
899 posts
Busy bee

I don’t see a problem with it but I’m sure others will. Do you plan on taking your SIL with you?

Post # 6
Member
12821 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’m in the minority here — this excursion to the bridal shop is supposed to be about your SIL, and she may get upset if you take over the appointment to try on wedding dresses.  If I were the bride, I’d be offended by a BM taking this moment from my wedding and making it about hers.  Perhaps you could go back at a different time on the weekend with a family member for your own appointment?

Post # 7
Member
2204 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

If you are just picking up your BM dress, I think it’s fine. If you are picking out bm dresses with your SIL, then no.

but why would you want to buy a dress so far from where you live?

edit: I would just ask your SIL if its ok and maybe say you’d like her advice, just to keep everything smooth.

Post # 9
Member
4275 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I think it is totally fine!

Post # 10
Member
256 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012 - Motor museum

I don’t think it is ok to do this. It isn’t your trip. Sorry, I wouldn’t do it

Post # 12
Member
8464 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@lulubird:  Definitely ask your FSIL.  I personally wouldn’t care if my BMs did this (in fact one of them just got engaged), but each bride is going to be different.  I would be worried about purchasing a dress so far from home though, do you have someone near you who will do the alterations?

Post # 13
Member
1607 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@abbie017:  +1

This really should be all about her. What if you went back that afternoon to try on dresses at a different time – or if you’re staying all weekend – what about the next day. I definately wouldn’t do it during her appointment. Plus you have a whole ‘nother year, could it wait till later? Maybe you could go down a day or two early for the wedding and slip away for a couple hours.

I can’t imagine how I would have felt if my bridesmaid would have been trying on dresses instead of looking at me with tears in her eyes when I walked out in ‘the’ dress.

Terrible story: I went to Bride’s gown shopping event last year where the MOH showed up with her baby. She handed the screaming child over to the MOB and proceeded to try on dresses. She wasn’t even engaged.

Post # 14
Member
1966 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I think its ok as long as it’s separate fron her appointment.  Do the bm thing after it’s all said & done then start your own appointment. 

Post # 17
Bee
1835 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012 - Oak Tree Manor

@lulubird:  I think it’s fine, just mention it to your SIL so she isn’t taken by surprise and feel like you’re stealing her thunder. But she already ordered her own dress, right? So it’s not like she’s dress shopping? Honestly, I don’t think it’s a big deal at all, especially since it’s a long trip away from you and there’s better selection (plus a trunk show). I’d go for it!

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