- 4 years ago
- Wedding: February 2013
I need advice on something. A little background, my father cheated on my mom numerous times, so I am very protective on letting women have close relationships with my man, bc I know it leads to other things…My man is an attractive former pro athlete. So a lot of women … cougars etc. go out of their way to try and have a special connection with him & don’t give a Sh*t about me, bc he use to have status…
So my man has always been “the nice guy” and it has constantly been an issue in our relationship…this is because..
He can’t tell when a girl likes him and he is really nice to her, compliments her back when she does him and it gives off the wrong vibe to the girls.
He has literally had girls before we meet ask to do things to him sexually, and he didn’t think they liked him. He isn’t stupid, but he is very very nieve when it comes to women. He basically thinks no women thinks he is attractive, but a lot of them do.
Issue #1: His ex girlfriend of 5 years (they broke up in 2009), her sister (his ex’s sis) was best friends with him for 5 years and (even he admits me to that she liked him and flirted with him). I found postcards and letters she had sent him when we first started dating and she called him lover, hottie, sweetie, and was very flirty told him she loved him(weird for his ex’s sis). I thought it was weird, she always has seen super inappropriates texts to him and I told him it made me feel uncomfortable. We are now engaged and had the talk that he needed to tell me if she contacted him. A little background on this girl, she hooked up with all his friends and is very sexually free spirited with a whole lot of people. He slipped up yesterday and told me she contacted him and she had talked to him, via text, I asked to see the text and he had deleted it, so it wasn’t in his phone. I got really upset, bc We have talked about this over and over and over again. He took a LONG time when we first dated (about a year) to get girls he had hooked up with and dated out of his life(to stop texting him or ignore them) ( i call this the nice guy syndrome)
I don’t want my husband having relationships with other women, texting, emailing them etc. It’s one thing to be friends with a female that is married and we all get together, but I have never thought it was ok for your man to hav a female friend, that likes him sexually, sending him private messages.
What do I say to him??
#2 Issue, he had a professor at his college that he took 3 classes with. She has been emailing him 5-6 times a month for the past 3 years!!! I think it is weird that she contacts him so much. She is in her 60’s and he says she looks at him like a son, but WHAT professor seriously emails her student more than 10 times a month sometimes. This woman contacts him more than his own family. Now I am not worried about her trying to sleep with him or anything. I honestly think it is some kind of old lady fantasy maybe with her and her young football player college student being close, or maybe she does look at him like he is a son, but it is obsessive.
How do I NOT look crazy and insecure, but explain to my man that it is not ok to have all these close relationships with women??
This kind of issue has been going on for so long in our relationship and I can’t handle his oblivious, nice guy attitude anymore. I am so scared he is going to get himself into a situation and some girls is gonna force herself on him. 🙁 He says he would never cheat and I believe him, but he doesn’t understand all the “DOORS” he opens with these women.
Please help 🙁