(Closed) Is this normal?

posted 5 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
Member
764 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

@bimmy:  Most deff.!!! Unfortunately the poor man is always so busy and on the go so my want for him is not always granted. lol

Post # 4
Hostess
3572 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I don’t think there is normal, only normal for you. It wouldn’t surprise me if. Many people feel that they want to be closer physically during such an emotional time as an engagement. Other people might feel the opposite, that they should back off so that physical relations are even more satisfying after the wedding. 

I will say, however, if you and fi/Dh are not on the same page, worwould out BEFORE the wedding if at all possible. Intimacy isn’t the most important part of a relationship,but it is a big part. It can also be a bone of contention in the relationship if you aren’t compatable.

You should also keep talking to SO to decide reasonable expectations of one another. Some bees here might disagree with me, but IMO it is not reasonable for either person to oblige their partner EVERY time. I also think that one person does not get to decide (vis-a-vis request or shot I someone down) when to do it. 

RE: attractiveness, I also generally believe both partners have a responsibility to make a reasonable effort to kee themselves attractivhttp their spouse. But again, just my opinion, and experience.

Post # 5
Member
1294 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

absolutely! we dont live together yet so i think once we are marriend we will have a huuugeee sense of wanting to explore more. now we are just respectful of our roommates/ parents and dont really get too into it unless we rarely have real alone time. 

Post # 6
Member
899 posts
Busy bee

I’m a little confused by your question, I do always find my fiance sexually attractive and I always want to have sex with him, but it’s nothing like when we were first dating, we couldn’t keep our hands to ourselves. We are busy and probably only have sex 3 or 4 times a week. Sometimes we turn each other down but not because we are not attracted to each other.

If you’re choosing not to have sex because you don’t find him sexually attractive I would say that’s not normal.

Post # 7
Member
4049 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

I agree with some PPs that there isn’t a ver clear definition of “normal” when it comes to what happens in the bedroom. Do whatever makes both of you satisfied.

I suppose in a way I find my FI more attractive now just because we continue to grow and become closer emotionally.

Otherwise I can’t comment much on the bedroom frequency as we are long distance, so it doesn’t happen much. Hah.

Post # 8
Member
317 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

My husband and I lived together before we got married and things in that department were great, but after we got married, it was a whole new kind of intimacy.  Completely new level of comfort know that I was officially his and he was officially mine.  I feel like he and I have been together forever.  In fact it just occured to me that we have only been married for almost 9 months, but it feels like a lot longer than that.  I want him all the time, even though it feels like we are far out of the honeymoon stages.  LOL!  Unfortuantely the way our work schedules fall that isn’t always fulfilled.  I’m not sure if that answered your question or not, but anyway…

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