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Is this normal? Registry use and the FMIL

posted 3 years ago in Gifts and Registries
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    1.
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    Buzzing bee
    vistagirl    march , 2010   Oregon

    My FMIL keeps buying us things from the registry for christmas and birthdays. Is that wierd? I even deleted our macy's registry because a) I am mad at macy's for putting it in mywedding channel thing, and 2) i decided i didn't want that pattern of dishes. My birthday was last week and She bought me things she remembered from christmas were on there! IS this wierd? A gift registry is for the wedding, not my birthdaty!

     
    2.
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    Busy bee
    Chela429    3/29/09   Long Island, NY

    LOL... I have bought things for people from their registry for their birthdays and events after the wedding.  I've never thought that maybe they don't want it anymore.  I think you should just let her know that you no longer wants those items, delicately (of course).

     
    3.
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    Sugar bee
    KateMW    8.30.03   Birmingham

    My MIL bought us a couple of things from our china pattern to give us for other occasions. I thought it was nice. A gift is a gift. At least she's buying you something you like?

     
    4.
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    Bumble bee
    fizicsGirl    8/1/2009   Michigan

    My FMIL and FSIL did this too.  I didn't mind in principle, though I thought it was odd that my FMIL gave us a place setting rather than something like a vase that we could use individually (I decided that the wait til the wedding rule doesn't apply when something is technically a christmas present).  It turned out kind of a mess, though, b/c we ended up changing our mind about the china and had to return it which seems to have kind of offended her.  I don't understand this at all, though, since it's not like she picked it out or antying.  We only registered so that we could accumulate points at macy's while shopping for other people's christmas presents (this was 9 mos before our wedding date), though, so we hadn't really thought too hard about it yet.  I actually did think it was weird that she bought us china, but not weird that they used the registry as a gift guide.

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    Buzzing bee
    vistagirl    march , 2010   Oregon

    So I told my FI that i posted this and I think it was a miss-communication! He asked what she should get me, and I said things for the wedding- like a cake! For Christmas one of our presents was a check made out to our photographer for part of the amount- and it was the best present! We are paying for the wedding ourselves so help for that is what I really wanted. Now I understand she thought she was doing what he said, so I guess it is just a mix up. The things she bought are nice, but hard to use without a full set! Lol it serves me right for registering so early! (our wedding is forever from now Is this normal? Registry use and the FMIL :  wedding registry gifts birthday fmil Icon Razz)

     
    6.
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    Helper bee
    Raindrops    10-10-10   San Jose, CA

    i would think this is okay to do this... since it's stuff you wanted.  ^_^

    why don't you add stuff to it?  if you have an amazon gift registery add books you want and stuff.

    i think it's more that your FMIL just doesn't know you well enough to figure out what to get you, but would rather just get you stuff she knows you want.

     
    7.
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    Busy bee
    monalisa670    August 2009   Boston

    I would totally love to get things off our registry for bdays and holidays, esp if we don't end up completing them! At least then you know it's actually something you want!!! That's a funny mix-up though, at least she meant well!!

     
    8.
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    Helper bee
    Josalyn    August 1, 2010   Coral Gables, FL

    At least its something you wanted, or at one time wanted. My step-dad for at least 5 Christmases and Birthdays gave my mom socks, bed sheets, or towels. Happy Birthday to her right?

     
    9.
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    Buzzing bee
    mary-alice-me    May 24, 2009   Kentucky

    I think that's a nice thing to do, at least from my point of view. First of all, my FMIL only gives me Christmas presents that are for us both, so stuff off the registry totally fits that. And she's never given me a birthday present.

    I think I'd feel differently if it were my own mom, sister, etc, but from FMIL? I'd be thrilled she's getting me something I want! What's your real worry with this? 

     
    10.
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    Blushing bee
    alshv2    6/6/2009   St. Louis

    This is a fairly common practice in my immediate family. FI's birthday was last week, and a couple people gave him some tools that were on our registry. He was happy to get exactly what he had been wanting. I'd be happy to get things off the registry for my birthday/Christmas/etc. too, especially if it was leftover items after the wedding. As far as my family sees it, they want to give some sort of gift for whatever occasion, and there is a waiting wishlist of things you actually want/like. I can never think of a very big wishlist for gift-giving occasions, anyhow.

     
    11.
    Bee
    2,519 posts
    Sugar bee
    argyle    September 2010  

    I think it would be fine, especially since most couples do not get everything off of their registry anyway.

     
    12.
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    Busy bee
    kara    September 26, 2009   Northern VA/Cincinnati OH

    My FMIL does this too, but it has been with things like luggage which we can always use sooner! (and toss the crappy old ones!)

     
    13.
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    Blushing bee
    aja0829    August 29, 2009  

    We finished off my sister's china settings for a few years after she got married with birthday and Christmas presents. It's what she wanted. I will probably clean off the registry after the wedding and just keep things on there that we still really want to complete in case my family uses it for Christmas. 

     
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    Worker bee
    Mrs.pinkblossoms    1-16-2010   Orange County-Los Angeles, CA

    I have done this for my close friends and I would love for my family & friends to do this for our birthdays and Christmas gifts (since it is before the wedding anyways). They are things that you obviously wanted-because you registered for them..now if it was too far after the wedding..then yeah..that's odd because you could have gone out and bought the stuff already

     

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