(Closed) Is this odd??

posted 7 years ago in Parties
  • poll: Is it odd to have the shower and bachelorette once you're married?
    Yes, she should have done both before she was legally married. : (30 votes)
    40 %
    No, it's fine. Whatever floats your boat. : (20 votes)
    27 %
    The shower is fine but she should have done the bachelorette before. : (23 votes)
    31 %
    Other : (2 votes)
    3 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    928 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    What’s her story? Did she not have enough time to plan the pre marriage events or was the ceremony supposed to be secret? Did they always plan to have a wedding after?

    It is odd but maybe she figures since that they are doing the wedding that she should also do all the traditional pre wedding events.

    Post # 5
    Member
    2496 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: January 1991

    @mrsmurraytobe: Totally agree.  I don’t find it odd, necessarily.  She may not have had time before the legal ceremony.  Either way, I would go and have fun!  She probably just wants to have the traditional parties and such.  Maybe her bridal party is also planning those events too, and it’s not just her idea?

    For me, a party’s a party, no matter when it is!! 🙂

    Post # 6
    Member
    5658 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2012

    If they already had a ceremony, that seems kind of odd to me. I wouldn’t really care if they have parties anyway, though!

    Post # 7
    Member
    284 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    It is odd too me, but I say it is her business and there might be a reason that she is doing these in this order. If she likes the idea of having a shower and bacheloretts party then she should have one.

    Post # 8
    Member
    3482 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 2011

    The shower I think is fine, but I would be a bit skeezed out by the bachelorette thing. IMO she made her choice to waive the bachelorette when she wanted to get legally married in a hurry.

    My bachelorette definitely didn’t have the “let’s celebrate your last night of being single” attitude, but I still would have felt a bit awkward if it had happened after I said my vows.

    But to each his own, I guess.

    Post # 9
    Member
    5670 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2010

    If they were legally married but had not had a ceremony yet I could see it. But since she already had the ceremony it seems very odd.

    Post # 10
    Member
    606 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    Yes and no.  I’m having a DW and getting married legally in the states beforehand, just because it’s much easier than dealing with all the paperwork internationally.  But I won’t really consider myself married until we have our actual wedding.  I’m planning on having the city hall civil ceremony within a couple weeks of the wedding, so regardless all of my events will be before I’m legally married.

    However, there have been times when we have been tempted to sneak away to city hall and just get married right now.  If that was the case, I would still want to have a bridal shower, bachelorette party, etc. even if I was already legally married. 

    I think what’s weird about this situation is that it sounds like she didn’t just sneak over to city hall, but that she had an actual wedding ceremony. What was the ceremony like?

     

    Post # 12
    Member
    2775 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2010

    Odd and IMO totally inappropriate (sorry).  Married is married whether you did it in front of the minimum number of legally required witnesses at the court house or 500 guests at the swankiest place in town.  Bridal showers and bachelorettes are by definition for, um, brides-to-be and bachelorettes.  A married woman is neither.

    I know I’m getting flamed for this, but it’s how I feel.

    Post # 13
    Member
    2775 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2010

    I mean, I could plan a high school graduation party for the class of 2001 and if my friends and family were on board, more power to me, right?  But it would be weird.  That ship has sailed.

    Post # 15
    Member
    436 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2009

    Maybe she can invite her girlfriends over for a party at her new house or out to dinner to celebrate but I don’t think it’s appropriate to have a typical bachelorette party.  Have they already had a reception?  Maybe that could take the place of the shower?

    Post # 16
    Member
    606 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    @Ms. Martian:  The more I learn the weirder I think it is.  The fact remains that odd as it is, she is having these parties, and you can either boycott them or just be happy for her even though it is kind of annoying. I think you are doing the mature thing by just being happy for her.  I wouldn’t cancel any plans to attend them, but I think if you are able to make it you should try.  Also, you should never be pressured to go to a DW, that sucks.

    The topic ‘Is this odd??’ is closed to new replies.

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