Post # 1
My home church is beautiful! My family has been there since I was born. The Pastor is my cousin, he’s my gma 2nd or 3rd cousin, so I’m way down the line lol. This is the thing I don’t want him to officiate the wedding! I want my Uncle which is a Pastor as well but at a different church. My Uncle is younger and bring a certain vibe that I want for the wedding, is it wrong to ask to use the church and let my Uncle officate my wedding? I don’t want to be inconsiderate or rude! But I really want my Uncle to do the cermony. How do I ask that question or I should just let my cousin do so? Thank you bees!!!!!
Post # 3
I don’t think it would be offensive to simply ask, but you’d have to decide what you’ll do if they say no. Good luck!
Edit: I’d leave out the bit about bringing a different vibe, and just state that you’d rather he do it.
Post # 4
I think asking could be sooo awkward, but I can certainly understand why you want to! What about if you asked your cousin if your uncle could co-officiate with him?
Post # 5
Here is a thought…
Have a chat with your Cousin the Pastor, and tell him it is a “family” event, so you’d really like it if BOTH he and your Uncle could do it together as they are both Pastors.
Certainly less chance of offending anyone, and a happier outcome for all involved. Rather than worry about WHO is going to do what (that might cause some anxiety) they could either take turns for the Vows part… one administering to one, one to the other… or they could do it together
Point is, Weddings are a compromise… and the first step to what marriage and life as an adult is really about… being able to “make things work” for others, and not always putting our own needs first. They also are a symbol of bringing families together… in an ongoing commitment that ties us to one another.
I am sure you can find a way to make this a great event for everyone if you brainstorm it with your Fiance and the two Pastors.
EDIT – Looks like Jijitattoo and I were replying at the same time, with the same basic idea.
Post # 6
I don’t think it would be rude….my uncle is the pastor of my church, but our actual building would be a tight squeeze, so even though he’s still officiating…we’re having it a different church. Most churches allow their space be used for weddings pretty frequently, regardless of who’s officiating.
Considering your pastor is only your 2nd or 3rd cousin…I really can’t picture him being offended that you would choose a closer relative. Who knows, he may actually be relieved to be able to attend a wedding without having to officiate it.