Post # 1
I need some etiquette guidance on two points:
1) Is it ok for a close family member to hold their baby shower the day after a wedding?
2) Is it ok to celebrate someone else’s birthday at a rehearsal dinner (e.g., everyone sings happy birthday and only dessert is a cake for that person).?
What would you think as the bride or as a guest?
Post # 3
for Question # 1 – Personally I would never do that and neither would anyone in my family – we all try to space things out at least a few weeks apart since we don’t like to overwhelm anyone.
for Question # 2 – is this at your rehearsal dinner? and if so, how close/relation to you?
Post # 4
So here are my questions back to you
1. Would it be an inconvenience to guests (i.e. travel requirements or time of day)? Is the bride a close friend/ would she want to be able to come to the baby shower? Is there a specific reason it needs to be the day after?
2. How formal is the rehearsal dinner? Will everyone at the rehearsal dinner know the guests whose birthday it is? Would the bride and groom know ahead of time? Would that particular individual feel embarrassed/ singled out due to the attention?
Post # 5
@MrsJKH2be: the rehearsal dinner is large and includes all family and Out of Town guests in addition to those involved in the wedding. The birthday is for the groom’s brother/ groomsman.
Post # 6
1) The timing would not be inconvenient for guests although it will be tight for the bride and groom to participate because of other events going on in the evening and other out of town guests who would not be invited to the shower who still expect to be entertained.
2) The rehearsal dinner is about as formal as you can get. Cocktail/formal attire and almost all guests are invited. Many people will know the groomsman but many will not.
Post # 7
Personally I think it would be a bit rude to hold the baby shower on the day after or ask the bride/groom to celebrate something/someone else during their rehearsal dinner. If I were the bride I’d prob not say anything so as not to cause drama, but I’d be annoyed.
Post # 8
1) I don’t know, I would feel weird about this
2) sure, as long as the couple is cool with it
Post # 9
I guess I’m on the other side of this. I would be okay with another event the day after. It also allows Out of Town guests to celebrate two occasions in one trip. My dad’s side of the family is having a family reunion the day after my wedding.
I would celebrate the birthday or at least make mention of it. If he’s over 21 he probably won’t want a big party for himself anyway. As long as the he and the couple are both okay with it.
Post # 10
I would definitely say no to the day after Baby Shower – asking people to dish out all that $ that whole weekend may be rude – and some people most likely would like to relax the day after a wedding. I know I went to 2 baby showers and an awards ceremony for my mother this weekend and I was spent – plus my whole weekend was shot.
I would say acknowledging the groomsman’s birthday would be very sweet – as long as the bride and groom were up for it – I think ultimately they have the choice. I personally would do it.
Post # 11
1) I don’t think this is soooo bad, depending on circumstances. Will there be a lot of family in town to attend the wedding that normally wouldn’t come to shower? While this may not be the most convenient thing for you (the bride, I am assuming), you should also not feel pressured into entertaining other oot guest the day after your wedding. This coming weekend I am hosting a baby shower for one of my bridesmaids and my wedding shower is the next day. My bridesmaid lives out of town, and being that she is pregnant it would have been difficult for her to travel 2 different weekends for 2 shower dates (her family all lives here). It seemed a little weird at first (shower extravaganza weekend), but I got over it and realistically it is the best thing all around.
2) This one I can relate to on an even more personal level. My FH’s SIL will have her bday the day before our wedding (and at our rehearsal dinner). I have every intention of giving her a bday moment at our dinner. I have no problem singing to her and having a cake for her (haven’t thought about if this will be the only dessert or not). I totally love my bday, and think they special moments in a person’s life, and think they should be acknowledged and honored.
Post # 12
Questions 1: Yes, this is fine – you only get one day.
Question 2: I think this awkward, because it’s already a dinner in honor of something else. And I would feel really awkward if I was the birthday girl lol.
Post # 13
1) I think I’m on the other side of this too, it really wouldn’t bother me. It’s the day after your wedding, not your wedding day. I think it would be awesome for the Out of Town guests to get to celebrate another happy occasion in the family while they’re in town! However the hosts will have to understand if you and your new hubby aren’t able to attend.
2) I wouldn’t mind giving someone a cake and singing happy birthday to them at my rehearsal dinner, so long as it’s a few moments of the rehearsal dinner and the dinner isn’t represented as or turn into a birthday party. Again, you’re all together, celebrate the happy stuff!
Post # 14
I think both are fine. And we actually did celebrate someone’s birthday at our rehearsal dinner, and the cake was his birthday cake. It was nice.
Post # 15
1) I think having the shower after the wedding it fine. After the wedding day, the couple’s one day is over so they don’t really have a right to be upset about it.
2) It is fine as long as the bride and groom are okay with it.
Post # 16
Yes and Yes
– if you have people in from out of town, its nice to get to include them in the baby shower! you’ll be busy being a newly wed anyway! 🙂 The day-after the wedding is for you and hubby. don’t worry about what everyone else is doing. If you are leaving for your honeymoon, you’ll just have to send a gift instead of being there.
2. of course!! We’re celebrating birthdays and a 60th anniversary 🙂 Its all about celebration, right?? What a nicer way to remind your friends/family that you love and care about them, than to give them 5 min. of attention at the rehearsal. Not like its the reception, even then. Its really NICE.
Neither days are your wedding day.