is this questionable behavior?

posted 2 years ago in Parenting
Post # 2
Member
2419 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

If your daughter was comfortable about taking a bath with her friend then I don’t see anything questionable about it. At 6 and 8 they are still little girls and after all, they ARE both girls! 

Post # 3
Member
4218 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Ehhhhh I don’t think it’s a super big deal. I’d think it’s pretty unlikely anything shady is going on. But if you’re not comfortable with your daughter doing that then I assume she’s able to say no, or you can communicate with the other parents that you aren’t comfortable with that. Are you close with the other girls parents? You could casually mention it just to see if they’re aware that it’s happening. 

Post # 4
Member
1230 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Mrslovebug:  i dunno… my childhood friend and I used to take baths together and i was a year older than her. we stopped when i was in second grade and she was in first grade (our moms were best friends, so we acted more like cousins). I guess that would make the age difference the same (I was 7 and she was 6). Also, when I was 7 (second grade), my cousin (who was 8) got head lice and gave it to me. I remember sitting in the tub with her while we were both getting our hair treated.

I don’t really think it’s a big deal. That seems like normal talk. What would be weird is if there were any follow up talk about body parts and what they do.

I’m a first grade teacher in an inner city school and a mandated reporter, FYI. I’m fairly well versed in spotting “weird” scenarios involving child abuse. That being said, I wouldn’t let my kids ever spend the night at anyone’s house unless they were family. There are too many weirdos out there. 

Post # 5
Member
1230 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Mrslovebug:  Also, I’m 32 and have taken a bath with my bff before. Nothing weird, kind of “Girls” style (HBO show). I remember when I was super-duper hung over a few years ago and my BFF had to give me a bath while I sobbed about how miserable my life was. That was actually really nice of her. 🙂

Post # 6
Member
7090 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Eh I don’t think it’s that weird. If it was a boy and a girl that would be inappropriate IMO, but two little girls that are good friends doesn’t seem worrying.

Post # 7
Member
3410 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I took baths with my friends until we were about 11/12. I don’t see any issue unless she herself felt uncomfy.

Post # 8
Member
6747 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

I am a parent of two girls and I think this is probably fine .

Post # 9
Member
9532 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I don’t think this is a big deal. I grew up at the YMCA where my cousins and I showered together along with anyone else was in the washroom at the time. Many cultures have common public baths that all ages bathe together. I guess I just don’t see the problem.

Post # 10
Member
624 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

There’s probably nothing questionable going on, but if you’re uncomfortable with this, follow your own instincts.

Post # 11
Member
2620 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

as long as the dads not the one bathing the children. i dont think there is anything wierd.. my parent didnt let me spend the night over at anyones house til end of the 8th grade…so i dont know…

Post # 12
Member
296 posts
Helper bee

I’m not a parent yet, but I took baths with my female friends and cousins at that age if we were staying the night together. I don’t think it’s anything to be concerned about 🙂

Post # 13
Member
2116 posts
Buzzing bee

Mrslovebug:  It really is all about what you are comfortable with, but I use to bathe with friends and family at that age. Probably until about 9 or 10?

 

Post # 14
Member
559 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Mrslovebug:  well I guess I’m the one to say that I don’t think that’s appropriate. Not saying anything fishy was going on but 8 is kinda old to be bathing with another person. At 8 I feel like you should have your privacy and be covering your “private parts” and all that stuff. 6 is still young but I feel like still old enough to be bathing alone.  It happened,there’s nothing you can do now but 8 you don’t like the idea just tell your daughter that she needs to shower on her own. Nothing wrong with getting in the bath in bathing suits though.

Also,I do not have kids. I have a 6 year old niece and I know she likes her privacy. I was at the house and she told me not to look because she was naked lol. 

Post # 15
Member
386 posts
Helper bee

It seems that it’s normal and actually quite common… I remember being 10 years old and sleeping over at a friend’s house. There was also another girl sleeping over and when it came time to shower, there were like, “Why don’t you want to shower with us? Do you have self confidence issues?” I was just like… WTF?! I thought it was really, really weird and creepy that they were showering together and wanted me to do the same. It made me really uncomfortable. However, that’s because it was never something I had experienced before. My siblings were much older than me, so we never bathed together. I had bathed alone my whole life so I thought it was very inappropriate for 10 year-olds to be showering together. But that’s just because of how I was raised, and obviously it’s normal for many other people. Personally I think 8 is too old for that, but that’s just because I know I started puberty at 8/9. Nevertheless, what’s done is done and I am positive that it was harmless and no big deal. I highly doubt anything weird was going on.

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