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oh man that sucks, I guess I got lucky, no one helped me with my planning, I did it all on my own, but they offered saying if I needed help then they would help, but I didn't need anyone and they stayed out of it.
I think if I were in your shoes I would feel pressured and pushed around too especially if I was having to do something I didn't want to do. That sucks, it's your wedding you should have it how you want and where you want even if it hurts the ones you love. I mean you could always have a reception in the states right?
I'm sorry :( I too got no help with planning but in the end I got the final say. There are days I wish I had help, but I'm happy I get to choose. Maybe try talking to your mom to let her know some things that YOU want, that way you at least have something that's yours!
You can aways decline any help offered you know, and do what you want to do on your own terms.
If the big wedding isn't what is your heart's desire, just say NO.
~Hugs!~ I understand the pressure (I'm the only girl, youngest of 4, in an Italian-American family, and so everyone's been waiting for their young bride... .) I love your super romantic Ireland idea! Are you already in the thick of alternate MOB-infused plans, and is there truly no turning back without major deposit loss, drama, etc.? You're sweet to understand where your mom is coming from regarding her past, even if it is irksome, but I hope there's a way for you to still have your dream, or to at least compromise and keep some elements of it. Could you honeymoon in Ireland and go on the plane in style as you describe? Can you put a touch of Ireland into the theme of your wedding? I hope there's a smooth way for you to work it out.
I hear ya! I had a crazy wedding and my mom wanted a lot of tradition that I wasn't exactly cool with. In the end we compromised & it was perfect - but I'm not gonna lie! Crazy headaches up until after the wedding. :/
@Ms. Taffy: I understand being upset, and I can sympathize with you not being able to feel like you can say NO and just walk away.
The best thing I can say is that this will be the last time she can do something of this calibur. You will be leaving the home of your family and cleaving to your husband so to speak--all other decisions and/or parties will belong to your new family. Try to take solace in that when dealing with an overbearing mother who is compensating for what was.
Good luck
is there anyway at all you could do both? Maybe do your thing and go to Ireland, have your private ceremony, spend a week or two or whatever on your honeymoon. then come back and have the recpetion and tradition your mother wants? I don't want to just assume you can afford that, because I know I couldn't, but it's only a suggestion. One i'm sure you've thought of though.
I agree with @smyley:... Just say NO! It's your wedding, do what you want. It might sound harsh, but if your mom didn't have the wedding day she wanted, that's not your fault & you shouldn't have to pay for it by sacrificing your day. She's really doing the same thing to you that apparently happened to her... she didn't get the day she wanted, so now you can't have the one you want?? I'm sorry, but no. I would not allow this to go down.
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Picture this - "hopping on a plane with a white short dress (it's got to be designer, right?!) and CK suit - going across the pond to Ireland and finding a church we could get married in just the two of us." (I know.. It still sounds amazingly romantic). And then... REALITY HITS. Well, not really reality but MOB. I am the only daughter and my mother did not have the wedding that she would have so now she thinks this is her chance to get that (WHAT IS WITH THAT?? IS ANYONE ELSE HAVING THIS HAPPEN?) so, my amazingly romatic trip of planning location, location, location has turned into planning church, ballroom, ballgown (to match the ballroom of course... did not know I could match a painted wall & linen so well), hotel rooms, menu... you get the picture.
So... thoughts on this, does anyone else feel like they are being pushed around with wedding planning and that really all you want to do is run away?!
HELP!