(Closed) is this really wrong? what should i do?

posted 5 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
Member
655 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I’d let it go. Just remember- he proposed to you!

Post # 4
Member
37 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@kimStevens:  I would absolutly get to the bottom of this. I in no way could wear a ring that was meant originally meant for another woman. Be honest with him and insure him that you aren’t mad , you just had a feeling and you can can’t help it. You deserve a ring meant for you .

Post # 5
Member
1240 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@kimStevens:  can you find out if it was for her and suggest you sell that ring and get another?  Maybe he doesnt recognise the significance behind it?

Post # 6
Member
2 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: August 2014

There’s no matter if you’re not the first wearing that ring, the important thing is to be the last one wearing it

Post # 7
Member
1902 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I can understand being uncomfortable wearing a ring he bought for someone else (if that is what happened). I’m generally not the type to be concerned by things like this, but I love the thought that fiance put into buying my ring, and I would feel uncomfortable wearing a ring that he bought with someone else in mind.

As others have suggested, you could just ask him (in a nice, sensitive way, of course), but if you don’t feel comfortable doing that, or want something more sneaky, maybe try insuring the ring? You’ll need a receipt to insure it, and there may be a date there that will give you a clue as to when it was bought.

Post # 8
Member
21 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I understand where  you are coming from and I’d be thinking the same. But let me add that guys think differently to us women.  He probably thought its a nice ring and you are the one he wants to marry and here is a ring – sweet! But we get all caught up about the past and the other woman.  lol I was just reading your post out to my fiancé and his reaction was ‘Gee I’m surprised he actually got the ring back’. see we just think differently. You loove the ring and he has chosen you. Her loss. I have relaxed a bit these days thanks to my darling and I think that your relationship and future life together is what counts. the ring is symbol and if you love it that’s great. You have the wedding band and the eternity ring to add and that is all about you 😉

Post # 9
Member
125 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

What was his speech about how he owned the ring? I don’t think I understand that. Did he tell you that he bought it years ago?

Post # 10
Member
12568 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

You asked him, and he said no.  If you keep asking him, it’s going to look like you don’t trust him to give you an honest answer.  Drop it, move on, and be happy!

Post # 11
Hostess
7568 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

@abbie017:  Agreed. 

Why do you think he’s lying, OP?

Post # 12
Member
15 posts
Newbee

Do you have any proof? Doesn’t sound like you do.

Post # 13
Member
141 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@jothecatlady:  I’m wondering it about that too.  Seems like an odd thing to say. :s

I’m not a big ring person either but I would never ever want a ring that had been purchased by my FI to give to another woman.  There is something about knowing he was thinking about me, and purchased it FOR me that gives an e ring significance. The only exception being if it was a ring that had familial sentimental value and he personally cherished, and wanted me to have it.

 

Post # 14
Member
891 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@abbie017:  I agree completely.

OP, if I were you, I’d let it go. He already said it wasn’t for an ex. Unless you have some other proof aside from “a feeling”, I’d move on and be thrilled to be engaged!

Post # 15
Hostess
2557 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Regardless of if this ring was originally purchased for someone else, it’s on your finger now.  He obviously loves you now and wants to spend his life with you.  Guys don’t often recognize the significance behind the ring like we do.  You already asked and he said no.  I would take his word for it and just forget about.  🙂

Post # 16
Member
9625 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

You’ve already asked him and he told you he owned the ring.  Was his ex-gf his ex-FI?  Perhaps he had purchased the ring just to have it for his “someday future fiancee” and not with a particular woman in mind at the time.  It’s not unheard of.

Either way – it is your ring now.  He gave it to YOU!  You said you love the ring.  If you don’t believe what he’s told you, you’re accusing him of lying.  Do you think he’s lying to you?  Is he the kind of man to lie?

I would let this go and concentrate on the joy of your upcoming wedding and marriage.  A ring is a piece of jewelry but the intention of your e-ring is this man loves you, proposed to you and wants to share the rest of his life with you.  Be happy.  🙂

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