Post # 1
Hi bees! Long time lurker, first time poster. I suppose I am officially a waiting bee; my SO and I have been discussing our (future) engagement for some time and it’s just a matter of when. Over Thanksgiving, his sister and her three teenage boys came to visit us. While they were here, his sister made an offer to him to give us her engagement ring. I’ve just now seen a picture of the thing and it is a beautiful ring–close to what I wanted in the first place, actually. Emerald cut with 4 step stones down (2 on each side). I was told it was a ring valued at $20,000 (not that that matters a whole lot but it just made me go “daaaaaaaaaaaaaaang”). I don’t know the specs outside of that, other than it looks to be 5 diamonds in the ring and set in a white metal. I was totally blown away by the offer and think that in a world where we all get sucked in by the WIC and end up spending a fortune on these things, it’s a huge financial savings. The only thing I might do to change is have the stones reset.
There are two items that give me pause in accepting this incredibly generous offer. First: it’s her engagement ring from her somewhat nasty and recent divorce. This is not really an issue with me, per se, as I don’t know if I believe in curses or bad juju, especially with a cold hard diamond. Second: she has 3 sons that are all going to need to go to college, and I feel that the money she could get from selling this ring would be better put to use for her own purposes. While my boyfriend couldn’t afford a $20,000 ring, he can definitely afford a nice ring that we would pick out together and I’d love and cherish all the rest of my days.
So I pose the question to you, bees. Given this situation, would you accept an offer like this? Do you think this ring is “cursed” from the bad juju? Or do you think that this is a blessing?
Post # 3
I don’t think it’s cursed. I would probably want to pick a different setting for the diamonds so I could really feel like it was my ring.
Post # 4
There is no such thing as “curse” or “bad juju.” It’s just stuff people make up in their heads. Be rational about this, will you ever get a chance to have a ring like this again? It sounds incredible, I’d honestly judge someone who DIDN’T take it due to some silly superstition.
As for the money part, I figure she’s probably considered that angle herself way before she offered it to you, so if she doesn’t want it, or the money from it… I think this is definitely a stroke of excellent luck for you!!
Post # 5
- Wedding: September 2013 - The Skinner Barn
I don’t think it’s cursed, but I like that you’re thinking about your future sister in law’s kids and their future. If the ring is worth anything near what you think it’s worth, it could really make a difference to them. I would mention that area of concern to her before accepting it
Post # 6
I understand being nervous about bad energy attached to a ring but I think that because it was offered with love and good intentions you should be good to go.
Post # 8
I would take the ring and then get the diamonds set in another setting, even if it’s something similar it will feel like you picked it out together rather than getting a “hand me down” — not that there’s anything wrong with that (Seinfeld)
Post # 9
She’s a grown woman, I hardly think that she would have offered you the ring without first thinking about it. Questioning her decision seems rude and ungrateful to me.
Perhaps your FI is going to buy it off her at a very discounted rate? Just because it is worth $20 grad doesn’t mean that she would get anywhere close to that if she were to resell it.
Post # 10
I wouldn’t, not because I think it’s cursed. But because as you said she could sell it and use it to help her and her family out financially. If it were me, I’d want her to sell it.
Post # 11
I’m betting her ring was APPRAISED at 20 grand. Which is right around normal for a good stone. But generally appraisals are way above what it is actually worth, they have to factor in the price of gold in the future and all those other things you need for insurence.
But either way, if she wants to give it to you, Oh I’d snap that up in a heart beat!
Post # 12
if she wants to give it to you then snap that puppy up!
Post # 13
She will have a very difficult time selling the ring for what it’s valued at. I think you should take her up on her offer and have it reset. She probably wants to see it put to good use and doing what it was meant to do.
Post # 14
I don’t think the ring is cursed, but I think it’s nice to have something handed down from a nice situation I guess 😛 I don’t think I would ever have been able to accept a ring like that. Also, I like the sentimentality attached to a ring which has been chosen for me, or if FI and I had picked a ring together. I think the way in which you’re questioning it shows that you just need to sit down and think about it, and figure out if it’s right for you 🙂
Also, it’s really sweet of you to be considering her kids 🙂 But she might have some funds tucked away in an account to go towards their studies 🙂 I’m sure if she was concerned about it she wouldn’t have offered the ring, but it’s nice of you to be considerate of them 🙂
Post # 15
A ring can’t be cursed. It’s nothing more than a rock and metal. The intention and promise that comes with it is what means something.
If your SO can afford the $20K, then maybe he can put that amount into an account for her kids where it can gain funds over the years.
Post # 16
I wouldn’t go as far as to say it’s “cursed,” but energy affects everything around us. There are, of course, people who will buy houses where the previous owner killed themselves, violently, or were murdered within it, but some people are cautious and avoid it. I mean, really, what can it hurt to pass it up? You get a ring that you and your fiance pick, together, and her boys possibly get a bit of money toward their education. What’s the worst that can happen, if you take it? Well, if there really is bad energy left around the ring from a particularly nasty break-up, well, it may affect your relationship. I would much rather be safe than sorry.
If I did take it, though, I would melt it down, reset it, and basically give it “new life,” so to speak.