Post # 1
Fiance and I are on a tight budget, and we are planning to invite only close family (aunts uncles, 1st cousins- no great aunts/uncles, 2nd counsins, etc) to the ceremony and dinner. The only non-family members will be in the wedding party (or readers or ushers, etc). We were then planning to invite all of our friends and youth students (we both volunteer at a youth group) to the dance, though they wouldn’t be invited to the ceremony or dinner. I’ve been to several weddings where this happened, and never thought anything of it, but after reading some comments here I began wondering if people consider this rude? We want all our friends to celebrate with us, but our church is small and we can’t afford to feed 300 people. We wouldn’t be expecting gifts from anyone invited to the dance only, of course- that’s not at all why we want them there. But I don’t want people to think that it’s a gift grab or that we think they aren’t important enough for the rest of the wedding, as that’s not the case.
So… would you consider it rude to be invited to the dance of a wedding and not the rest of it?
Post # 3
It’s obviously accepted in your circle, so go for it! I wouldn’t personally be offended.
Post # 4
Like the PP stated, if it seems accepted in your circle then you’d probably be fine doing it. Nobody really does that where I’m from and I think it’d be a little strange to get an invite like that, but then if I really looked into I would probably understand why (because I just had a wedding and know how dang expensive it is to provide for so many guests). I think if it’s a normal kinda thing to do around you, then your guests would understand and be excited to just be there to celebrate.
Post # 5
I understand budget issues but is there any way to possibly have a dessert buffet or do cake for all the guests that aren’t going to be at the ceremony or dinner? I would find it a little weird to be invited for dancing only without any drinks, appetizers, or dessert. But I have seen a lot of venues offer cake and champagne receptions for pretty cheap.
Post # 6
Thing is, the only weddings I’ve seen like that were family members and one of my mom’s coworkers. I have no idea how my friends would react since I’m not sure if it’s just something my family members do or if it’s normal in this area.
@redhead46: Well, there will be a free soda and a cash bar available during the dance, but we aren’t providing an open bar for anyone. The cake would definitely be a possibility, though, thanks for the idea!
Post # 7
I wouldn’t be offended. It’s not a normal practice in my circle of friends, but it is something we considered doing.
Post # 8
I think its unconventional, I’ve never heard of anything like that so hoenstly, I’m not sure what to think of it. I would talk about it to a few close friends and see how they react.
Post # 9
A very common custom here! Everyone opens their dance up to co-workers and friends that you don’t see often. People get offended if they aren’t told about the dance. You don’t even need to do a formal invite, word of mouth works here.
Post # 10
My Fiance and I are doing this exact thing. We have 55 guests for our ceremony and dinner, and another 117 coming for the reception following dinner. We are providing drinks, a snack table, and cake for all the guests of the reception.
We wanted an intimate ceremony and small dinner with just our immediate family (going out to aunts/uncles), and closest friends; but we wanted all of our friends and extended family to celebrate with us as well. This was how we accomplished it while keeping the ceremony intimate and staying on budget.
Post # 11
When I was in 4th grade our teacher was getting married and she invited her students and their parents to the ceremony but not the reception. No one thought that was weird. She even took a wedding picture with all of her students at the church. I think you could create a separate invitation saying something like, Please celebrate our marriage with an evening of dancing. And you could add please no gifts. I wouldn’t be offended. Weddings are expensive and if I were a friend who was invited to the dance, I would be happy that you would want to include me in your celebration.
Post # 12
I have never heard of doing this but if it is accepted in your circle then go for it
Post # 13
Honestly I don’t understand why people restrict a ceremony but not a reception, when in most cases the reception is what costs money: providing your guests, with food, drink, etc. And when you go to a reception you bring a gift because you are going to a dinner party on crack pretty much.
If its accepted and all your guests will know just to dance but not eat or bring a gift, then do it! Sounds like fun!
Post # 14
I went to a wedding once where we were invited to the reception but no the ceremony (which was just in the yard of the reception hall). Money wasn’t the issue. The couple just wanted to keep the ceremony really private. Most people were snickering at the choice, but came anyway, and still loved the couple. I remember it all these years later, but I can’t say that I was outraged or anything like that. Don’t invite anyone to a shower that isn’t invited to the whole show, and you should be OK.
Post # 15
@NYCcaliBRIDE: That’s a good idea, I’ll make sure to write “no gifts” on the invites 🙂 We honestly don’t want anything when we aren’t even serving them food, we just want them there.
@Eva Peron: Well, we would be inviting people to the dance after the dinner, so we wouldn’t be paying for the food, and since it’s a cash bar we aren’t paying for their drink either. The capacity of the chapel for the ceremony is 125 and our guest list is at 150 already, so that’s another reason for us 😛
Post # 16
I think that It’s cool if you are on a budget, really you shouldn’t feel obligated to give what you cannot afford. People should be understaning, I mean times are tough! If your social circle does this already then that means people are ok with it then you should be fine! Have fun!