Post # 1
FH and I got into a debate tonight after one of his coworkers asked when we were going to have kids. I think this is a very rude question. He always just answers the question. I want to say something smart Alec but settle for “when the time is right.” he thinks this is rude and will just invite more questions. I said the question is rude and he sai most people don’t think so. So I want the opinion of the hive.
Post # 3
I think it depends on who is asking, family/close friends I say no. Strangers and people you aren’t close to, yes then it is rude.
Post # 4
I do think it is somewhat rude, but it doesn’t really bother me if they let it go when I say never. I think it is extremely rude to try to change someone’s opinion/lecture them on it. I’ve grown to really hate this question because people so rarely just let it go.
Post # 5
Sadly its the next step in the line of questioning! Before it might have been ” When are you getting married ? ” etc etc
Yes having children is a personal decision, but so is marriage, buying a house, going to college, etc etc. People can’t help but be nosey and don’t always realize it can be insensitive.
Post # 6
I think it’s something people ask when they don’t know what else to talk to you about because the world assumes every woman wants kids, like yesterday.
Post # 7
It really is not a question that should be asked by anyone other than close family. And even then, no one should assume that everyone is going to have kids .
Post # 8
I think whether it’s a wedding or kids, I think people are excited for you. I know myself, I have been guilty of asking “When do you think you’ll have the wedding?” but it’s not so much I need to nkow everythign but that I am excited for my friend. So if it were a stranger, it might just be that they are trying to seem excitd for you? I would just tell them, oh, you know, sometime in the future, that’s when I’ll have kids haha.
Post # 9
I think its rude. The person asking is assuming you want kids and on top of that is assuming they should be privy to your sex life.
Post # 10
People’s reproductive choices are 100% private.
It’s also basically asking people if they are doing it alot? Or are you using birth control? It is not appropriate.
Now if this was a close friend that is one thing, but just a co-worker. I don’t think so.
Post # 11
I think it is extremely rude. Maybe it is just me, but people never ask us that- but I am around older women who are professionals in a tough field (to make it in = design) and they never had kids. No one has ever asked us that and I would consider it extremely rude and probably want to make fun of them with a smart a** response- but in a professional setting I would probably exercise my usual tact and graciousness (eye roll!)
Post # 13
i think it’s no one’s business whether or not a couple will be having children. it’s private. they will let you know if they want you to know.
unfortunately, i can’t have children so when someone asks us, it’s uncomfortable for everyone, especially my fi because he would have loved to have one.
Post # 14
@guitargirl: We both get asked this ALL the time, we only recently got engaged, are planning a wedding for April of 2014, and probably kids 3 years after that! It’s just like, leave us alooone already lol
Post # 15
I think this depends on who it is asking – close family and friends, no. They are just genuinely curious. If it’s total strangers or people you don’t know very well, that could be EXTREMELY rude. I never ask people because I don’t know what their situation is – for all I know, they could be absolutely devastated because they just found out they can’t have kids.
Post # 16
I think it’s rude, family or not. I certainly don’t expect to tell anyone when we try to conceive, not even family. If we have trouble doing it, I don’t want my family or friends to worry or feel sorry for us.