Post # 1
My FI and I are including an information sheet with directions to the ceremony, reception, and other additional notes with the invitations we are going to send out. We were concerned that these additional notes might come off as rude…primarily notes 1 and 3. They read as follows:
*We are registered at Target. In case you were wondering 🙂
*CARPOOLING IS RECOMMENDED. The Hotel Woodland nearby may eat up the majority of the parking spaces that night.
*Due to our budget, limited space, and security purposes, please ask permission for any extra guests you wish to bring, so we can put them on the guest list. An “extra guest” is a person whose name is not listed on the invitation envelope.
*KEEP THE ENCLOSED INVITATION WITH YOU. You will need it to get into the reception.
*Don’t bring in any alcohol. We could get in trouble.
For questions or concerns, please Call (FI) at (His number), or (me) at (My number)
What do you all think?
Post # 3
I think it all looks good, but I see what you mean about item one. I might nix that.
However, I’m with you on the other one, #3– I have a similar issue to deal with, so I can feel where you’re coming from.
Post # 4
-I would leave out the registry information.
-Do you really think people will bring their own alcohol? If so, are they friends that you can tell verbally? I would think the majority of people wouldn’t have a problem with that.
-Ditto with the extra guest. People should know not to do that, and the line about the invitation makes that clear, as well.
Post # 5
Generally, it’s not appropriate to include your registry with your invite. My hubby and I had a wedding website, and our registry info was on the website so that’s where we directed everyone. We also let our family and the bridal party know, so they spread the word for us.
Post # 6
Um… I would be like “WTF” if I got this. It’s common sense to most people. Sure, someone might bring an extra guest, or have to park elsewhere. But you’d rather deal with 1 or 2 idiots than have most of your guests resent you. I think the registry and guests being told not to bring extra people are pretty rude. And why would they need the invite to get in? It makes it seem like you consider your wedding an exclusive club or something.
I might put a link to your website on the enclosure. Then on your website you could list a) where you’re registered b) parking advice c) no alcohol with you. The others would, IMHO, be rude to say.
If you don’t have a website you can make a free one on theknot or weebly.
Post # 7
I would eliminate items #1, #3, and #5. If I was your guest, they would all strike me as rude – of course I would not do that!
And with the interweb it is so easy to find out where couples are registered, it is completely unecessary to put down registry information.
Post # 8
Keep the carpooling note. Ditch the others. (If you insist, keep the one that says bring the invitation, but it’s a little ‘let’s keep the riff-raff out’ – maybe someone will come up with better wording.)
Don’t mention the registry. If people want to know, they know who to ask. With the ‘guest’ point – decide who will be able to bring a date (a good cut off would be all married/engaged/living together couples must be invited as a couple, all others just have a space on the rsvp card that says __ of 1 guests will attend. (which they then fill in with either 0 or 1)
If you think you need to, you could have someone at the door of the reception to welcome guests… and check their names off a list. Would be more polite, if you really think you’ll have people ‘crashing’ the reception.
Post # 9
….Well, I am having my wedding at a members-only club that will require an invitation to get in, so I see where she’s coming from. There is nothing wrong with that. I should note that it’s the club’s policy, whether I like it or not, so. Maybe it’s the same kind of deal? Only the OP would know.
Post # 10
I completely agree with kjpugs. I would be really put off by all of those notes.
Post # 11
I have to agree with most of the comments. I’ve always heard that its a faux pas to include registry info on the invite. The extra guest and alcohol thing should be common sense, but I understand why you’re worried… Still, I would find that a bit off-putting if I got that on an invite. The parking thing and the invite thing are totally fine I think though!! Good luck!
Post # 12
i would also eliminate #1, 3, and 5. i actually think 5 is the worst–who would do that?? i think if i received this, i would think it was a little rude.
Post # 13
The mention of a gift registry within an invitation is considered rude, i.e. “asking” for gifts. This kind of information is circulated through word of mouth, or more commonly these days, on your wedding website (the URL for your website can be included!).
The third item on your list… I don’t think I see its purpose. Guests who are invited are listed, by name, on the internal envelope of your invitation. The RSVP card can read
___ of ___ guests accept with pleasure
___ of ___ guests decline with regret
And you as the hostess fill in the second line with the total number of guests invited for that invitation. Example: if you’re inviting Mr. and Mrs. Smith and their two children,
___ of __4__ guests etc.
and only three can attend, they’d write
__3__ of __4__ guests
There is no need to put a disclaimer on your financial situation, nor should you “explain” the etiquette rules of response in an extra note. Again, this type of information, phrased differently perhaps, should go on your website.
Instructing your attendees to bring the invitation with them, however, is CRUCIAL info — I might not remember to bring mine unless specifically instructed to do so.
And… is there another way to word the alcohol request, perhaps a simple “No Alcohol Allowed on Premises”?
Hope I helped a little bit there… apologies for over-wordiness.
Post # 14
I agree that #1, 3, and 5 kind of come off in an akward/rude way. For #1, it just rubs me the wrong way for some reason that you say, “In case you’re wondering”. I mean, if they’re wondering, I’m sure they’ll ask you or your family, no?
For #3, I can’t imagine anyone would just show up with extra guests, especially if you specify on the RSVP card how many guests you have included in their party ( 2 seats have been saved for you, etc). It seems strange that you have to tell people to ask permission.
For #5, ditto @poetryreader–would people really bring in alcohol on their own? And that you say “we’ll get in trouble”–it makes it sound like you’re a kid going to a school dance, or like you’re worried your parents will find out.
I don’t know the level of formality of your wedding, but I”m assuming very casual/low-key? I think it’s okay to mention carpooling, but would definitely not PUT IT IN CAPS. And really, that’s probably information that can go one your wedding website and not with the invitation, unless you’re concerned people won’t check the website.
Post # 15
@poetryreader80 You would think, and yea it seems obvious, however Latinos (which make up all of my family and are over half of our wedding guests there) have a thing about bringing 10 or so people along with them when they go to a wedding, even if those guests are UNINVITED. And I’ve even had suspicions about other members of my family bringing certain guests who I do NOT want to see there. You may say “well if your family loved you they wouldn’t do that” but the excuse to that is “We need to be polite”
Post # 16
I see the point about a club possibly requiring some sort of ID of a guest (ie bringing the invite) but PEOPLE WILL FORGET IT. Most peopel don’t bring the invite to a party – it’s not like a ticket to a show. If that’s why they need it, can you give whoever’s checking a list? That way they could give their name. I think that if it’s the place’s policy, that would be more smart and be less weird for your guests.