is this rude?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
5460 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

If YOU require it, YOU should pay for it.

If you expect them to pay for it, then don’t be offended when they decline and do it themselves because they don’t want the added expense.

Post # 5
4513 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Just say that you want to pay for their hair and makeup so that everyone can look their best. I don’t think anyone would take that as an insult.

I would not make them pay for their own. You can give them the option, but if they choose to do their own then I think thats all you can do.

Post # 6
1043 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I have only been a bm once, and was not even given an option, we were to get hair and makeup done, in identical colours/styles, and then afterwards the stylists asked for their money! I had no  idea we were getting our hair or makeup done, nor that we would have to pay for it!

Proper etiquette is, if the hair/makeup is mandatory, you should cover the cost. Ive offered my girls the option of both, explaining that if they choose to do either, they will have to cover the cost.

Post # 7
42182 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@AndysCraftsNmore:  Yes, it is rude to demand professional hair and makeup and expect them tp pay for it.

If you want them all to have their hair and makeup professionally done, just tell them ” I have made arrangements for all of us to have your hair and makeup done. We can sort out the schedule later.”

Post # 8
965 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

“Hey Girls! Just wanted to let you know I made appointments for all of us to get our hair and make-up done on Saturday at 9:30 am. Services are on me! If you have any photos of great hairstyles, send them my way!”

Post # 10
851 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013 - The front lawn of our church

I would not ask them to pay for it themselves.

I would present it as “a fun idea I had.” and just give them the details on where to be and what time. I wouldn’t present it as a question, just, “this is what we’re doing and I’m so excited!”

Post # 11
1881 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@AndysCraftsNmore:  If you want it, you have to pay for it. So you have two options –

* Present your girls with the option, give them all the cost info, and let them decide.

* Pay for it and let the girls that it’s on you (but this is NOT a gift). You still need to get them a proper BM gift and providing hair and make-up that you want is for you and not for them.

Also, as a side note – do not dictate their exact hair and makeup. I hate when I see brides do this – it’s so controlling.

Post # 12
487 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I’m giving my girls the option, and I’m just going to request that they do SOMETHING to their hair so it doesn’t look like they just rolled out of bed. Whether they want an updo or just want to straighten it and leave it down, I don’t care. But I know all my girls are capable of looking polished without professional help.

Post # 13
1259 posts
Bumble bee

Yes it’s rude. 

If you want them to have pro hair and makeup – YOU should pay for it. 


Post # 14
8282 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

I don’t think it’s rude. Being in a wedding is an expense, and people who say yes should be prepared for it. 

Post # 15
951 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@AndysCraftsNmore:  I am asking them to get hair done and have offered to pay for it.  But my issue is that they’re fighting me on who pays.  haha!  Because I’m “requiring” at least hair, I feel I should pay for it but they keep saying they’ll pay for their own.  I’ll probably just leave my credit card at the front desk so they can run it immediately and not even give the girls options to pay for it themselves.  Both my sister/MOH and my BM are really good with makeup so they don’t need that.  I, however, will need to have mine done so I figured they could get hair done while I’m getting makeup and then I’ll get my hair done after that.  My MOH offered to do my makeup but she’s also got to get herself ready and her 2 boys which are our ring bearers – I feel like that might be too much to ask of her.

Post # 16
5263 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@AndysCraftsNmore:  I was in a wedding once and the bride was not courteous at all. She said we MUST get our hair and makeup done by professionals and had to pay for it ourselves..It as really expensive and didnt look all that great at allI could have done a better job myself Lets just say I was not impressed….

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