Is This Rude??

posted 3 years ago in Destination Weddings
  • poll:
    graciously decline the shower idea : (24 votes)
    51 %
    suggest an at home reception instead : (20 votes)
    43 %
    suck it up and let them throw the shower : (2 votes)
    4 %
    other. Please explain : (1 votes)
    2 %
  • Post # 3
    2286 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    @heathie1:  Yes its rude to invite anyone to a shower or other pre wedding party who isn’t invited to the wedding. I would express my gratitude and decline.  

    Post # 4
    1132 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    Yeah, I would say let them throw you a party/celebration close to home without calling it a “shower” and the obligation to bring gifts that that implies. 

    Post # 5
    1802 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I would tell them that you (and others) don’t think it’s appropriate to have a shower when none of those guests will be invited to the wedding. 

    Post # 6
    2878 posts
    Sugar bee

    @heathie1:  I would tell your sister that you’d rather have a get-together at a local restaurant when you come back. If people want to give you something, they can at that moment and it’s not an obligation (while it’s pretty much rude to attend a shower and arrive empty-handed since the sole purpose of this event is to offer gifts…).

    Post # 7
    9526 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Yeah, I would suggest a celebratory get together prior to or after wedding but don’t call it a shower.

    Post # 8
    382 posts
    Helper bee

    @heathie1:  + 1

    It is rude to invite people to a shower/ pre-wedding celebration if they are not invited to the wedding.

    If your sister and BFF want to find a way to celebrate your union, which I think is SUPER sweet by the way, an after wedding party would be more acceptable. Not a reception or anything where people would be expected to give gifts, like in the case of a shower, but a lovely party. They could let guests know you guys had a very intimate destination wedding and that they want to give you a party to celebrate your love.

    Post # 9
    1466 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    @heathie1:  I might politely thank them. It sounds like you don’t really want a shower anyways, so it’s okay to politely decline. If they want to do something special for you, an at home reception, that’s very kind, or you might even ask for their help with something else wedding-related!

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