(Closed) Is this rude??

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1465 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Yes she was rude. No one has the right to ask if they are invited. She should figure out when she doesn’t get an invite that she won’t be able to attend, but if she continues to pressure you with asking, then you are within your rights to tell her point blank that you are limiting the guest list due to budget, space, etc limitations.

Post # 4
Member
449 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

It is rude for her to ask, but people do it all the time! Your response was perfectly appropriate.

Post # 5
Member
8354 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

I am in the minority. I don’t think it was rude. I think she was just trying to make conversation with you and you should have answered her honestly.

Post # 6
Member
612 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Yes it was rude of her to ask if she was invited, but it seems when it comes to weddings that people lose all sense of etiquette.  I think you responded in a polite way that will give you some more time to think of a way to tell her she isn’t invited.  At least this way you can tell because of the guest list details you had mentioned last time you spoke that you wont be able to invite her to the wedding.  Good luck!!!

Post # 8
Member
13 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2010

It’s totally rude (and tacky) to ask if you’re invited to a wedding. I would just let it go until she asks about it again. And like Selene221 said, tell it her theres a “limitation” and unfortunately you can’t invite everyone you would like to.

Post # 9
Member
570 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@MaggieGirl:

I don’t believe it was rude on her part to ask if she was invited you did write “a friend from college.”  

I believed you handled the situation correctly, a little lie that did not hurt anyones feelings. 

Post # 10
Member
420 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

So awkward. That is usually the sign of someone who has not clue of all the considerations that are made, when choosing a guestlist for a wedding. You just can’t invite everyone you know. Some girls from an old job said, “We Better be invited!”. I was thinking…. what? I hardly knew you girls. Sure we had some giggles at work, but we never hung out outside of work. Wt? So strange. There are real wedding crashers out there! I mean, if you are not good friends with either the bride or the groom, why would you want to go?

Post # 12
Member
1032 posts
Bumble bee

good job telling her the truth this time!

Post # 13
Member
35 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2010

That was totally rude of her. I often find that people that haven’t planned a wedding themselves don’t really know the dos and don’ts.

Post # 14
Member
1068 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

Your second response to her offering to be invited (and making it convenient for her trip-wise) was a good response. There’s a guest list count – and you can’t invite everyone you know. The way you framed it was just great!

Post # 15
Member
2186 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

TOTALLY rude. and good for you for being able to be honest with her when she kept asking.

 

Post # 16
Member
151 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Glad that your situation worked itself out! When FH and I updated our statuses to ‘engaged’ on Facebook, one of our mutual friends commented “Cheers, I expect an invite.” Period.

Needless to say, he is NOT on our guest list even though quite a few other friends, whose ‘group’ he could be considered part of, are.

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