Is this rude? Help with an RSVP situation

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
5160 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

You do need to ask her.  I’d wait as long as you reasonbly can – say until the end of your RSVP period.  IF she hasn’t brought it up with you, ask her.

Post # 4
606 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I would wait to ask, just to give her time in case she’s really upset.  Your wedding date is October 5th?  I’d say touch base with her in about a month. 

Post # 5
11379 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@engleman10513:  your wedding is still a ways away.  give her some time and perhaps confirm with her later when the final rsvps are coming in and you need the final numbers.

Post # 6
1887 posts
Buzzing bee

@engleman10513:  I would wait as long as possible before I ask in order to be sensitive regarding her break up. I would wait until I absolutely had to turn in my numbers to the caterer before asking.  Hopefully she will bring it up in the mean time. Break ups are tough, especially when it feels like everyone else around you is getting married. 

Post # 7
310 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I would wait a little , depending on the date too. But I would ask her if she will still be bringing a plus one very nicely and sympathetic. Just breifly explain why you would like to know.

Post # 8
275 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I agree with PPs – wait as long S you can and ask her. I was insane about making sure seating cards and things were correct so I know the feeling. I say wait and then ask. Maybe she’ll realize she RSVPEd with him and let you know first. 

Post # 9
1466 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@engleman10513:  Just to throw this out there… she might also get back together with him! (I mean I have no clue about the situation, but it is possible) so I wouldn’t count on being able to invite someone else. That would be awkward. If it gets a lot closer to the date and you still don’t know, then as the PP’s said, clarify!

Post # 11
4474 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I think you should wait until a little closer to when you have to give final numbers and approach her about it in a sensitive way. In that time she may either contact you herself, get back together with him or find someone new and you would know about him. 

Post # 12
328 posts
Helper bee

@engleman10513:  Honestly, she may be wondering what she’s supposed to do-if I were you, I’d call her (when the time is right) and tell her that you’ll be happy to have her by herself at the wedding and that she shouldn’t feel like she needs to bring someone, but that of course she’s welcome to as well.

Post # 13
57 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@engleman10513:  Are you alright if she brings someone else (a date, a friend)? If you are, you can offer a +1 to her.

About the empty chair, if she comes alone, you can just remove 1 chair from her table.



Post # 15
603 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I think you could send her an email offering her a plus one, and tell her to take her time to figure out whether or not she wants to bring someone so she has time to think about what would be best for her.  I’d tell her to take as much time as she needs to figure out what she wants to do.  

Post # 16
1715 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Call her the week before your numbers are due.  Ask her how she is doing and then inquire if she is going to bring someone to the wedding still.  Don’t ask about her ex just make a general statement about her bringing someone to the wedding so you can write the name on the place cards and such.  But I would definatly call, not email or text. 

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