Post # 1
My RSVPs have been rolling in. I have an old college friend who RSVPed super early (within the first few days of the invites coming out). At the time she had a boyfriend. They had been dating for like a year and I invited him to the wedding as well. As of a few days ago, they broke up. Do I inquire about if she is gonna still bring him or bring a different date or no one? Of course I wouldn’t want to ask right away and give her time to process the brake up but I would like to keep my numbers and names right for the seating chart. I don’t want her to get upset if she saw his name on the seating chart or had an empty seat next to her. But I don’t wanna bug her about it either…
What do I do?
Post # 3
You do need to ask her. I’d wait as long as you reasonbly can – say until the end of your RSVP period. IF she hasn’t brought it up with you, ask her.
Post # 4
I would wait to ask, just to give her time in case she’s really upset. Your wedding date is October 5th? I’d say touch base with her in about a month.
Post # 5
@engleman10513: your wedding is still a ways away. give her some time and perhaps confirm with her later when the final rsvps are coming in and you need the final numbers.
Post # 6
@engleman10513: I would wait as long as possible before I ask in order to be sensitive regarding her break up. I would wait until I absolutely had to turn in my numbers to the caterer before asking. Hopefully she will bring it up in the mean time. Break ups are tough, especially when it feels like everyone else around you is getting married.
Post # 7
I would wait a little , depending on the date too. But I would ask her if she will still be bringing a plus one very nicely and sympathetic. Just breifly explain why you would like to know.
Post # 8
I agree with PPs – wait as long S you can and ask her. I was insane about making sure seating cards and things were correct so I know the feeling. I say wait and then ask. Maybe she’ll realize she RSVPEd with him and let you know first.
Post # 9
@engleman10513: Just to throw this out there… she might also get back together with him! (I mean I have no clue about the situation, but it is possible) so I wouldn’t count on being able to invite someone else. That would be awkward. If it gets a lot closer to the date and you still don’t know, then as the PP’s said, clarify!
Post # 11
I think you should wait until a little closer to when you have to give final numbers and approach her about it in a sensitive way. In that time she may either contact you herself, get back together with him or find someone new and you would know about him.
Post # 12
@engleman10513: Honestly, she may be wondering what she’s supposed to do-if I were you, I’d call her (when the time is right) and tell her that you’ll be happy to have her by herself at the wedding and that she shouldn’t feel like she needs to bring someone, but that of course she’s welcome to as well.
Post # 13
@engleman10513: Are you alright if she brings someone else (a date, a friend)? If you are, you can offer a +1 to her.
About the empty chair, if she comes alone, you can just remove 1 chair from her table.
Post # 14
Thanks for the ideas ladies. I do want to give her time. You all have great ideas about how to handle it. I realize there is a possibility that would get back together but I’m ok with her still having a plus one if they dont.
Post # 15
I think you could send her an email offering her a plus one, and tell her to take her time to figure out whether or not she wants to bring someone so she has time to think about what would be best for her. I’d tell her to take as much time as she needs to figure out what she wants to do.
Post # 16
Call her the week before your numbers are due. Ask her how she is doing and then inquire if she is going to bring someone to the wedding still. Don’t ask about her ex just make a general statement about her bringing someone to the wedding so you can write the name on the place cards and such. But I would definatly call, not email or text.