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I've always been very against wearing my e-ring anywhere except social situations- mostly because of the reactions I get to my ring. Random women grab my hand & I've had a few women (who I barely knew!) even try to yank it off my finger to try it on. However, this week I decided to start wearing it all the time, even to work. Over the past week I must have had 10 people say "OMG your ring is so pretty... is it real?" I am tired of defending my e-ring & it makes me want to put it back in its box.
I think its totally rude to ask "Is it real?" and I would never be so brazen... what do you think?
i agree. asking if your ring is real is very rude!!!!!! i'd politely tell them it is real and that it's rude to ask that. no matter what though....rock your ring! its yours, its gorgeous, and its real!!!! the ones asking if its real are probably jealous.
i toally agree. some people are just so rude! ive had that problem a lot. once this girl asked me to stick it in the fridge to see if it fogged up bcuz she didnt think it was real. I get the how many carats is it, what does ur fiance do blah blah blah. now i just tell them its costume jewelry and they seem to nod and stop with all the questions.
Yeah, that's pretty rude! I'm sure they don't mean it to be rude, some people just have verbal diarrhea.
No joke - I had no idea people really do this, I mean act that way - I have seen similar threads to this one and it shocks the sh-- outta me, COME ON PEOPLE HAVE SOME COUTH.....
First of all, it's no one's business whether your ring is real. So yes, it is very rude for them to ask that.
But the last thing your FI wants is for you to keep your engagement ring in its box. Love it, wear it and defend it if you have to. If you're firm, people will learn to back off and respect you and your ring!
So rude! I haven't had anyone do this, thank goodness. But I would NOT be happy!
@miss ny: You're right. Most of the people have been pretty kind when they ask! I guess my sensitivity comes from many, many, many comments from others!
@sweet: UNBELIEVEABLE!
Oh I've heard so many... It's so big it looks fake, your FI must be making up for something, what did you do to deserve a ring like that, "my husband bought me this simple ring because he's not flashy", etc, etc. Seriously, it's not like I have 10cts on my finger or anything!!!
I had one girl ask me that. I just looked at her and said "are your boobs real?" That shut her up real fast.
I think it kind of depends on how they say it. Like sweetlikcake said, if their snippy about it, and say they "don't think it looks real", that's just wrong. My guess is they are jealous and trying to cut you down to make themselves feel better. IDK.
But if they seem like they're admiring it, and are just shocked or something, I would honestly just let it go. Maybe they're really impressed, and weren't filtering their words properly. Or couldn't believe someone could have a rock that big.
Wow, that's just ridiculous! I haven't had to deal with that, but I'd be pissed if I did.
I think it's sad that it makes you not want to wear your ring, though! No one should stop you from wearing it proudly. It's such an important symbol to me, though of course, it's just that - only a symbol, and doesn't make a relationship any "more."
My centerstone is 3 carats, so I get that question A LOT. I usually answer with "nope, it's actually a figment of your imagination!" or "No, you're hallucinating right now." Only one person persisted with the old "I mean is it a real diamond?" To which they received a look. THE look. You know the one I mean. The "You are an idiot" look. Rude question gets rude response. I'm just not classy enough to let their behavior go.
I've never had someone try to take the ring off my finger (not that it's possible anyway) but I would just yank my hand back if they did that and say "Excuse you!" Some people are idiots, and they don't realize it until you confront their behavior.
that is just RUDE RUDE RUDEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!
sorry you have to deal with that :(
It is rude for them to ask, but I think that you should still wear you e-ring! Call them on it, I'd be pissed too!
Girl, wear it with pride! I hear that a lot too but I try not to let it bother me. I even heard some biatch tell her friend that my ring I HAD to be fake. I'm not going to lie-that one pissed me off-but then I remembered that she had been with her boyfriend for a long time and she has NO ring. Whether she was jealous or not I don't know-but thats what I tell myself to make me feel better about it :-)
On a side note...several years ago my father gave me a white sapphire ring for my 21st birthday. I never wore it because it was the nicest piece of jewellery I had at the time and I was afraid to wear it. We moved and now I haven't been able to find it for 4 years. I have pretty much given up hope. If I had wore it all of the time I wouldn't have lost it and I so badly wish I could find it. Now I look at it as...the only way that I can REALLY appreciate my jewellery is to wear it. Don't let people's judgements stop you from being able to admire YOUR ring on YOUR finger :-)
@mighty: you slay me! :)
@tanya: You're right... I think I need to guage it on a case by case basis! I'm sure not everyone means to be rude! I'm never downright nasty or anything at work because if I'm mean, I'll lose business. I just smile, giggle & say it is!
You should say "no" the next time someone asks, just to see their reaction. You can always follow up their look of surprise with "No, of course it's real! But can you imagine if it wasn't, but you asked anyway?"
Seriously, though, I'm with guffey--rock your ring! The people who ask if it's real usually ask because it's so big and beautiful they can't quite believe it. It's actually a backhanded compliment, if you think about it. ;)
But wait... people actually tried taking it off of your hand? THAT is inexcusable.
@hope: I was at a rally with my FI and this woman that knows my FI actually tried to rip it off my finger. I had to clench my fist & twist my arm around to get her to let go. haha at that point I think I did give her THE look ala MightySapphire. I was in my FIs office & his secretary tried the same thing! Maybe its a regional thing where its acceptable to steal rings and try them on? lol jk
I think you should wear it EVERY DAY! Just to show the haters who's boss.
I just got home from work and TOTALLY told off one of my coworkers, though, so I might be in an aggressive ring. But I still think you should wear it every day.
@KM: hi! you make my heart sing :) Is it wrong to show my public love for you?
Definintely not wrong at all, because I'll sing my love for you out in public too!
I LOVE RB!!!!! SHE'S THE BESSSSSSSSST!
It's so obnoxious when people do that. I especially hate the people who try to defend their rings (as if I think mine is better!) I have gotten the "Oh, we just got a small ring because I don't need fancy jewelry, etc." I'm like, "Great, I don't care!"
WOW! I thought I was the only one with the problem of people stealing my ring to try it on. I have said things to people, but it just doesn't end! Seriously, what is up with that crap?!
Don't steal someone's ring and put it on your finger!!! How rude! Don't even try! Maybe it's just me, but that ring is mine, he bought it for me and I don't enjoy seeing it on anyone else. ESPECIALLY people I don't know!
@phedre - LOL...I was thinking along the same lines. Definitely a fitting response to an inappropriate question.
The question itself wouldn't bother me so much. I think I'd be flattered because that would mean that they hadn't seen (or had) the likes of my ring before :)
Trying to yank it off my hand would be a different story altogether, and THAT would definately tick me off. I mean seriously, who GRABS someone's hand and tries to pry their jewelry off?! That's practically criminal and deserves a rude response.
I think its rude that people would try to yank it off to try it on! But i dont think thats a reason not to wear your ring.
i would NEVER allow someone else to try on my ring! especially not someone i dont know. Whether a ring is "real" or not, and no matter how much it costs, it is a special symbol of love and commitment between two people.
There is no reason why you should not be wearing that ring everywhere! It's yours! Own it!
I hate that! i had one woman tell me she didn't think mine was real because se couldn't see any flaws in it!!! uhhhhhhhhh isnt that the point? i didnt even know how to respond to that....
I wonder if the fact that you didn't wear it previously adds to the questions.
definitely rude though.
More than anything, I think it's just plain WEIRD. Who are these grabby people? If you were wearing a cute shirt, would they try to rip it off your body?
Living in NYC, I get asked ALL THE TIME if my purses are real or fake. Of course, I take absolutely no offense and usually bitch about how I WISH they were fake and I instead had the cash value (they were all gifts - I would NEVER buy a real one myself, think they're an absolute waste). I think sometimes people just want to start a conversation and don't fully realize what comes out of their mouth.
This is another face palm moment with me saying "WHAT THE EFF IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE!?!" Some people just say whatever, whenever with no reguard to others feelings! This is right up there with people asking if you're prego, if you've got a little chub on your belly. GAH! What is wrong with people?
@phedre: I love your response. must file for later use. heehee.
to the OP. yes those people are insanely rude and are supremely obnoxious.
That's beyond rude! Smack their hand if they try to take it off you and ask them if theirs is real!
Sorry that just makes me so angry!! But I do still think you should wear it! It shows you are now off limits!
@phedre: awesome. That's the sort of response I'd only think of 5 hours too late.
I'm trying to develop a thicker skin :) Thanks ladies for helping me see the other POV!
lol I was out to dinner for my friends b-day on the weekend & the lights made my ring sparkle like it was in a display case.... the server commented on my ring when my friend chimed in "Yeah- it's so big it looks fake!" She's says it EVERY time someone compliments my ring. I'm not gonna lie... when she fell walking out of the restaurant later on that evening, I didn't even feel bad.
I think that is exceptionally rude behavior and I'm sorry you have to deal with it!! I hope that you'll feel comfortable enough to wear your ring wherever you want whenever you want :-)
I had a coworker once who probably encountered a very similar situation to you. Her center stone is 3 karats (And here, I just want to clarify that I did NOT ask her for that info--she volunteered it at a much later time). When I first noticed her wearing it, I politely commented to her "Your ring is stunning!" (It is!) She immediately seemed to get very embarrassed and started almost apologizing for why it was so big and beautiful. I felt so guilty for accidentally making her feel that way, but I think a lot of people must have been commenting on its size previously so she was self conscious.
I hope that she and you eventually figure out the best way to cope with people who are rude about it! :-)
I think that asking that is horrible! Miss Manners would not be happy!! I would wear it whenever I wanted to! Don't let these ill-mannered people stop you. That being said, now I'm curious, can you post a picture of your ring? :)
@Abbee When I first got my ring somebody said something about it being improper to have a non-diamond ring (FI got my birthstone instead) and I was like "Face palm", but they didn't get it forever! Two days later they called and were like, wow, I'm really a b*tch sometimes, huh?
Anyway, I'd say wear it and if somebody tries to take it, just start yelling bloody murder and ask why they would try to steal your ring. That will get them cold and everyone around will be like WTH, why would you do that. Embarassing people helps a lot in these situations to make them realise that they are in the wrong.
One of my coworkers is in the same boat--her husband gave her a 3 carat ring and she was embarassed to wear it around the office because it's so big and gorgeous. And people have made comments to her as well. She eventually got used to it and wears it all the time.
I say rock it. Your fiance could afford to get you a gorgeous ring. You would love it just as much if it were 1/2 carat, love it as it is, that's my opinion. Put the haters in their place (kindly and subtley if they're clients of course, overtly if they need it) and wear your ring.
Um, seriously some people suck. But don't keep that gorgeous ring in a box!! Think how it must feel! Dejected, alone, unloved....let it live in the light! And I would like to apologize on behalf of my fellow smaller-e-ring-owners. I don't know why others feel the need to make excuses as though having a smaller stone (my center stone is about .75ct) is a travesty of monumental proportions. We bought the ring that worked for us, our budget, etc. I would think it the HEIGHT of rudeness for someone to comment on it being small--so why is it any less rude to comment on how big and unreal someone's ring looks? Some people, I swear....
And I second danaadell--can we see pics now? We're curious about the ring that's causing all this ruckus!
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