(Closed) is this ‘rude’…. or… not proper?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
2385 posts
Buzzing bee

It depends on your personalities, but I don’t think there’s harm in asking so long as you make it very clear it’s okay she can say no

Post # 4
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

i didnt know it was a no no to have a shower at the brides home, i thought it was a no no for the mother of the bride to host a shower though…… now im confused

Post # 6
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

@LornaJane: i dont think “luck” plays a part in any of it btw – i pretty much broke every single rule and its all good and happy so dont fret too much, im sure everything will be great

Post # 8
3264 posts
Sugar bee

I don’t think you should ever ask someone to host a party in your honour.  I do think if you are close that she may want to host such a thing, but that it should come from her, not because she was put on the spot.

It is also not correct etiquette for a direct family member to host a shower for you.

Post # 9
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Sorry, but I do think it is rude – she is already MCing for you, and although you’re not asking her to be the host, it is still a big responsibility having the shower at her house – she is the one who will have to deal with everyone needing parking, cleaning her house and yard, etc. I think it’s very presumptuous considering she isn’t even a Bridesmaid or Best Man. I think that it would be much better to hold it at your host, actually – but I would note who the host is on the invite so it’s clear you’re not hosting your own shower!


@eloping: I think the whole thing with it being a no-no for MOB to host has pretty much gone out the window since fewer and fewer brides live at home and are depending on their parents by the time they get married.

Post # 10
7779 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Eh… I probably wouldn’t ask.

It’s bad form for the bride to host her own shower (because it looks like a gift grab, not because of luck), but I’ve never heard anything against having it at her house. I say just have it at your place and tell your mom that we make our own luck.

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