- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee boards
WHAT?!? Why is he going to be at the bachelorette party? Isn't it supposed to be just for the ladies?
IMG_1403_-_Copy.jpg (50.9 KB, 37 downloads) 2 years old
Just curious... is this the same BM/boyfriend you had a problem with before?
WTF? No... it is a bachelorette! Just the girls, and she doesn't want your bachelorette party as her proposal memory --that would suck!
That would be a terrible engagement story! There may be a tactful way to alert him of that fact....
No its not the same boyfriend, its a weekend trip and he wants to show up and suprise her and propose. Of course I've said yes, I dont want to seem like a B**ch and say no. Not to mention one of my bridesmaids has cancelled leaving me to pay for her portion. I wish it was simplier. Did anyone else not look forward to their bach - party because of all the drama/hassle??
Don't even get me started -- I haven't blogged about mine yet.. but here is the short version. YES-- I was stressed up until my third pear-vodka martini --then I didn't stress about anything. I found out 6 days before it was scheduled that my moh who was planning it never invited anyone!!!! One of my other bm's ended up planning the whole thing on the Monday before, calling everyone and apologizing for the late notice. Because of this, what I had originally wanted did not happen, and a large number of my friends were not there because they had made other plans. I ended up having fun -- but it was not what should have happened and I am still very upset with my MOH (yes, we've talked about it) and I have an entire group of friends that want to take me out after the honeymoom because they missed the bachelorette -- they are all also very po'd at MOH.
Tell him he can do it if he pays the portion of the cancelled bridesmaid 
Like someone said....your friend might not want your bachelorette to be her engagement story...talk about stealing HER thunder! How romantic would that be if she's wasted??? Alert him...his gf might want something more romantic!
DV-LW_8345.jpg (56.8 KB, 54 downloads) 2 years old 
ABSOLUTELY...it would be stealing your thunder. I agree with the other ladies that he shouldn't be there anyways because it should be all girls. Also, him proposing at your bach. party is like proposing at the wedding. I am sure he can find plenty of other "moments" to propose to her!
Although i agree its not a very romantic place for him to propose, i don't think it would steal your thunder. You have a whole weekend for your bachelorette, you cant expect every waking momen of that for all attention to be on you. The point of your bachelorette is to have fun with your girlfriends and celebrate being single one last time. I don't see how him suprising his girlfriend and proposing would be that big of a deal. Maybe he could do it the last day or something? I think it would be wierd if he proposed and then wanted to stay the night or something, since its supposed to be all girls, but not becuase it takes attention away from you...thats kind of zilla if you ask me
I don't think it's stealing your thunder. I actually think it's a really sweet thought but it's not a very romantic proposal. You might want to mention to him that you think he should do it on a more romantic weekend. But as far as thunder stealing, I suggest you be happy for your friend.
@NCB2B: Call me crazy, but isn't a bachelorette party thrown in the bride's honor? And by extension, doesn't that make the bachelorette about the bride? The OP never said that she wasn't happy for her friend (in fact, she's allowing it to happen!), just that she wasn't pleased about the situation. That doesn't make her a zilla.
My 2 cents: what would your friend say if she knew about it? My guess is that she wouldn't want him to do it -- isn't it strange to do it at a bachelorette (talk about mixed messages?). Since you've already told him that you're okay with it, I'd give him a few (more creative) proposal ideas and help him orchestrate something really special for your friend.
I don't think so. Once the initial "oh my gosh, you're engaged!" flush passes, the focus will be back on you and your wedding - the one with all the details to talk about, the one that will be happening soon.
ask him to make it a special day for her. so to get a better moment and not inbetween yr party, as she would not get all the deserved attention as u r the bride.
That is so lame, where did he get that idea? That is not original nor is it romantic, and its kind of rude that he asked you (IMO). I would be offended, but I can understand why you would take the high road, and say yes that he could propose to her at your party.
I think my biggest fear is someone proposing at my wedding.
If he asks you again, I would tell him that you're having second thoughts and that you think that your BM would appreciate a more romantic proposal. If I were that BM, and I got proposed to at a Bachelorette party, I would think that he's nuts for doing that, and I would be embarassed and feel bad for the bride.
I think its so silly to be afraid of people stealing your spotlight. Nothings going to steal your spotlight -- not a proposal, engagement, anniversary or birthday that happens to coincide with your event. Its similar to Love - you don't run out of it, there's always enough to go around. Attention is the same way! i think Brides should be more focused on being graceous and accomodating their guests, making them comfortable, and thanking them for all they've done, as opposed to worrying about your thunder being stolen. Thats basically the definition of bridezilla IMO
Wow. I think this is truly passive-aggressive of him. He somehow, even in the moment of his proposal, feels the need to make her choose somehow between him and her girlfriends. He can't possibly let her have a nice weekend away with all of you without horning in... and he also can't let her have a romantic proposal that is all hers. What is he expecting her to do after he pops the question - just go back to partying with you all while he quietly disappears? Disappear with him? If if was YOU, wouldn't you want to be able to spend some quiet time with your new fiance, and be able to do it without abandoning your girlfriends?
It's a truly awful idea. What do you think would happen if one of you "just showed up" at the bachelor party? That would be truly not cool. And so is this. I would let him know that for her sake, you think it would be better if he proposed in some way that was all about her, as opposed to at a party that is really in your honor. If he somehow feels the need for an audience, then he can schedule his own dinner party at a later time.
As a girl who's been afraid of being the one to steal the thunder, I'd like to offer an opinion from my perspective. I agree with the majority of girls that a girls only weekend seems a terribly un-romantic time to propose to someone, and there's a good chance the friend would not be pleased to get the proposal on that weekend.
And, while I respect the opinions of the girls who think a bride being worried about "stolen thunder" is a zilla, I don't think it's bridezilla behavior to want your special moments to be...yours. A bridezilla would freak out if anything detracted from her engagment/wedding during anytime in the planning process - upset that a pregnancy announcement came from a BM during a random luncheon where her wedding was being discussed. It's not out of line to want the bachelorette weekend to be "girl time" where your upcoming nuptials are one of the main focuses. Of course the other girls will talk about their lives, etc., but that's a far cry from one of them getting engaged at your bachelorette party.
My fiance proposed to me four days before my cousin's wedding, and, while it was hard to keep it from my family until after the wedding, I did so out of respect for her and because when the announcement did come, I wanted to be able to get really excited with my family w/o feeling like I was sharing "my" moment with someone else as well. It's not poor behavior to want a little attention during those rare and wonderful moments in our lives when something fabulous has happened - a proposal, a pregnancy, a new job, whatever.
I think its inappropriate personally. This is a weekend for you and your girlfriends, and he just shouldn't be there. Someone is likely going through a lot of effort to make this a special weekend for you, and probably wouldn't love the intrusion either. If I were the friend, I would be embarassed at taking something special everyone was doing for you and making it all about me.
Also, I don't think it is Bridezilla of you at all to think this is out of place.
Completely inappropriate and not at all Bridezilla to be concerned. If you're having a weekend away with the girls, it should be just that - a weekend away with the girls. There are plenty of weekends and there is no need to horn in on this one.
When my FI proposed, it was a wonderful weekend and I was thrilled to spend a bunch of time with him and then share the news with pretty much anyone who would listen. :) If this guy interrupts your girly weekend to propose, it would be hard for it not to take the celebrating in a different direction. To me, it's not that the bachelorette party should be 100% focus on the bride, but a time for the bride to celebrate with her close girl friends prior to getting married. A proposal is not conducive to that, even though it is about love and getting married.
il_430xN_98781910.jpg (56.9 KB, 46 downloads) 2 years old AGF4ZCAYNBB66CA3ZE38UCAEWA5CXCAB8AHSWC.jpg (1.2 KB, 35 downloads) 2 years old
I find it incredibly inappropriate. Tell him this is supposed to be a weekend all about being single, care free women and maybe he can set up something really sweet at home when she gets back.
I guess I should elaberate a little....
1. The bachelorette party is in the same city they met and went to school so he thought it would be special.
2. He wants it to be a surprise
3. It is going to be on Sunday afternoon so I guess its at the end of our weekend so its not a big deal...
Its just a lot of pressure on me, I have to film the whole thing and orchestrate everyone to take pictures. He called me out of the blue and asked, I felt like if I said no I would look like a bridezilla. There already has been so much drama with this weekend. My other BM cancelling on me the week before, I've complete broke now paying for her portion too. I'm fighting with my MOH about the room size, she booked a king size bed instead of 2 doubles and now everyone has to sleep on air matresses. I am not really looking forward to this weekend unfortunatly. I want to call it all off, does anyone else feel this way about their bach party?
beachbride - that sounds a bit overwhelming. Not sure how close your wedding is, but the guy is asking an awful lot of you. You are getting together with your friends for a girls weekend and are then supposed to be in cahoots with this guy to keep his secret, coordinate the filming and the photography? Madness.
Would it be possible to reach out to this guy and say that while it's sweet that he wants to surprise your friend in their old hometown and that you're *really* excited for him, it is a bit too much for you right now. He may be miffed now, but when they are in the throes of wedding planning, I'm sure he'll understand!
He's doing it at the end of the weekend? In the city that they met and went to school in? As a surprise? What an ass.
I am obviously kidding. I really think that this is a non-issue. He's trying to do something sweet for his girlfriend who is YOUR FRIEND. Your wedding, your bachelorette party, your showers are just one day...friendships are lifelong and you need to remember that. Be happy for your friend. It's a GOOD thing that she's getting engaged. Plus, if you tell him no and then he tells her, it could cause a problem and why do that? I'm sorry your BM backed out of your bachelorette weekend, but this BM is going and you should be grateful and let her have her moment at the end of the weekend.
i dont think I would describe having to film a proposal and stage a few pictures "madness".....if you think about it, its really not that much effort. I mean look at what all your bridesmade are doing for you (well except the one that cancelled and cost you money). It'll be fun if you have the right attitude, and you should be well destressed after a fun holiday weekend away. I've been planning my wedding alone while working full time and it hasn't been stressful, just fun! (At least so far) I saw just go with the flow, and I agree with what KateMW said.
If it's happening in the middle of the afternoon while you're, say, sitting on a deck having lunch (rather than smack in the middle of all the bachelorette debauchery), I think it's OK to let him do it. KateMW makes a good point that not saying OK could ultimately cause problems between you and your BM... which is a terribly crappy situation to put you in, but it is what it is.
I also agree that having to film (if you're using a click and shoot) and tell your other friends where to sit/stand is not that big a deal - it won't take a lot of planning, and honestly any and all pictures/video they get will be meaningful.
There's been too much drama in your wedding party already (NOT caused by you) that maybe it's best to just be the bigger person and let this happen. You'll have had a great weekend already, hopefully, and this will make everyone leave in a good mood... again, hopefully! :-) Good luck and have a great time - make sure they let you sleep in the bed! 
PARAMOSANPATRICK1jpg.jpg (25.2 KB, 49 downloads) 2 years old PARAMOSANPATRICK.jpg (22.7 KB, 38 downloads) 2 years old
I cancelled my bach party and am not having one. I go out with my friends when I want and I'm not wearing a penis anything, nor the stripper thing so how is it different than any other get together? It's not. And we already had an engagement party and a shower. Enough already, you know?
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| Lyndzo | 52 |
| Brielle | 41 |
| mypinkshoes | 34 |
| his chippymunk | 34 |
| Cady | 32 |
| fivemonthsnotice | 32 |
| TheLionQueen | 31 |
| This Time Round | 31 |
| AshleyR83 | 30 |
| ndreighton | 27 |
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| Brielle | 16 |
| funkymunky85 | 14 |
| SapphireSun | 12 |
| TheLionQueen | 11 |
| HappilyEverAfter54 | 10 |
| Mrsgurzakovic | 10 |
| mypinkshoes | 10 |
| Future Mrs K | 8 |
| worden2be | 8 |
| AshleyR83 | 7 |
My bridesmaid's boyfriends wants to surprise her during the bacherlorette party and propose... Just wondering how would you feel?