Post # 1
I’m running an idea around in my head, and feel like it may not be the best…so I was hoping for some feedback. 🙂
I have a friend from high school who wasn’t a great friend, one of those people I hung out with and went to a summer program with…we didn’t really speak through college and I’ve seen her twice since high school, as she came to visit family here and we met up both times. So, you know, one of those distant acquaintence type friends.
She still lives in California, where we grew up, and is working as a photographer. I know she visits here (NY) often-ish, and wasn’t sure if it would be okay/tacky/rude/etc to ask her to be the wedding photographer, though not actually invite her to the wedding. Or…invite her to the wedding, and ask her to be the photograhper too? She knows about the wedding, as I saw her soon after we got engaged, though I made no reference to this, as I don’t know how rude this would be.
My thoughts about asking her would be that it would be nice to have someone I know, and to support her as she builds up her business, and maybe it would be slightly cheaper since we’re friends (and I’m finding that wedding photography is expensive). There is of course the potential of adding in travel costs and expenses, which could make it just as much in the end.
But, does anyone have thoughts? I haven’t said anything to her yet and definitely won’t until I figure out whether this would be okay or appropriate.
Post # 3
I don’t think it’s tacky as long as you a) reach out to her in the right way – “hey! I know it’s been forever since we’ve spoken, but I’m getting married and I’d love it if you’d consider being our photographer b) never assume you’ll get a discount and remember that travel costs will be included c) treat her as a guest in the right ways – obviously invite her to stay for the whole reception even if she’s only billed X hours, have a meal and a seat for her, etc.
Future Sister-In-Law & Future Brother-In-Law had a pro photog friend shoot their wedding. It worked out wonderfully, but I could see how it could get awkward in the case of a miscommunication or unreasonable expectations.
Post # 4
I think that you could hire her as a photographer (as a business person) and then it wouldn’t be necessary to invite her to the wedding. I don’t think it’s inappropriate, just say that you would like to consider hiring her as a photographer. I wouldn’t expect her to give you a huge discount because you are long ago friends though.
Post # 5
i don’t think it is tacky, since i am sure she would be honored and flattered that you wanted her work to capture one of the most important days of your life. however, i think it might be a little awkward, knowing what you two used to share, and now do not, and having her catch the intimate moments that you both know she is no longer a part of. it might affect the way she shoots the wedding, and it might affect your ability to act naturally while shooting. also, with travel costs increasing the budget, it may not save you any money, if not cost more. i would take some time trying to find the right photographer…a lot of newer photographers who haven’t really built their business a lot will offer lower prices.
Post # 6
Thank you everyone for your thoughts and feedback! It’s good to know that this is an option that can be considered when the time comes closer. Luckily I’m in the beginnig of it all still…but I figure, seek out as much info as I can now! 🙂
Post # 7
I’m actually doing the same thing. An acquaintance of mine from elementary/middle/high school is now a professional photographer, and although I wouldn’t have invited her to my wedding (75 guests max in our venue!), I asked her to be my photographer, and she was more than happy. She even worked with me on the price of her services. No awkwardness or anything.
Post # 8
I would tell her you would really love to have her photograph your wedding because she is so talented and you love her work. Explain right away though that you’re on a really tight budget and you don’t want to take advantage of the fact that you are friends. She may or may not give you a discount but it doesn’t make you sound like you’re asking for a favor. And if she says it’s $4000 and your budget is $2000 just tell her you’re bummed but you really can’t afford her.
Some friends and family have done favors for me for the wedding but with what I have paid them I could have hired anyone!
Post # 9
I think it’s no problem asking her to photograph, but don’t invite her as a guest. If she’s working for you, she’s not a guest. She shouldn’t be surprised not to be invited, you don’t sound all too close. But don’t ask her to be a photographer because you hope she’ll give you a discount. Treat her as a professional, and hire her if her prices are reasonable and what you can afford.
Post # 10
I don’t think it’s tacky. But you need to make it clear that it’s business and sign a contract. You don’t want the day of your wedding, to get a phone call that she’s sick and can’t come and then you don’t have a photographer. Make sure there is a contract in place that states what happens in the even that that she cannot attend.
Post # 11
Sure, it’s an option. I agree with others bees though to treat it like a business deal. Contracts, signatures, the works. It can be super fun to have someone you know as one of your wedding “friend-ors.”