Post # 1
To give you a bit of background, I live overseas in Australia and all my 3 bridesmaids are back home in the UK. The only way I can really communicate with them is via email at the moment, phones calls are just too expensive. I know that emails can sound different to what is really meant, so I’ve drafted a note to send them but wanted to have your thoughts on the tone…..am I being too pushy?
I really, really like to get an idea of what kind of dresses each of them would like to wear, so I can start planning a little bit more. I’m not saying that we need to buy the dresses now, but looking wouldn’t hurt, right?
Here’s the note:
I know that the is not until wedding next year but as the majority of planning is already underway, I’d really like to get an idea of what kind of dress you would like to wear on the day. I’m happy for you to pick your own dresses as I want you to be comfortable since you’ll be wearing the dress all day! You can all were the same dress or you can all wear different dresses, the only thing that I ask is that chests are covered. One shoulder and halter neck dresses are fine, but no strapless dresses please.
The website I would like to pick the dresses from is dessy.com. The reason being that you can order the dress from any Dessy stockists/shop close to you by just stating the reference number of the dress on the website and the colour. The good news is that any alterations needed on the dress should be able to be done by the stockist too. I’d ideally like to order the dresses so that you have them in your possession for the beginning of August (2014).”
What do you all think?
Post # 3
- Wedding: November 2013 - Garden
I showed my BMs some of my inspiration pics so they had a feel for what I wanted the bridal party to look like. I showed them these pics about 13 months before the wedding date but we didn’t actually start looking at dresses properly until about 10 months before. A couple of them wanted to lose weight and didn’t feel comfortable picking a dress when they weren’t really sure how it would fit on their new body shapes.
Post # 4
That sounds pretty reasonable. I would suggest clarifying what you want in terms of colour – all the same shade, shades of the same colour or whatever they like.
Post # 5
@waddle: for dessy they can also add thick straps (from extra material) or spaghetti straps
you might want to include the name fo the colour (specifically, ie not just blue…but sapphire blue) or colour range, even if youve told them previously
the next question id ask if i were them is if any length is acceptable or not, and any material (nu georgette, satin, chiffon etc. dessy has a lot of options ). if you really spell it out you wont get emails back asking questions. as chiffon and satin together do look very different – it might not bother you but you need to be sure.
eg i said
floor length, chiffon, dessy, sapphire blue – any style. which still gave about ten + choices.
Post # 6
@waddle: It comes across as nice and polite to me! Like a PP said, you’ve said nothing about colour. So I think you should either specify the colour; or if you only want their input on style and rather than colour, then say that.
Post # 7
It sounds great! Something is a bit funny with your first sentence though:
“I know that the is not until wedding next year”
Do you mean, “I know that the wedding is not until next year”?
Post # 8
I think it sounds just fine and not zilla at all.
If I were your bridesmaid, though, I’d want a little more direction than that.
There’s nothing I fear more than being part of a wedding party where the bride says “oh, just pick whatever you’d like,” especially if the others all know one another. Even if you give a color, like blue, it’s tricky. That’s pretty much a recipe for three bridesmaids showing up in variations on the same knee-length sky blue lace, and me awkwardly showing up in floor-length navy satin.
Post # 9
sounds perfect, but it’s so far away that everybody’s going to archive it and not remember a thing when they have to order it.
Post # 10
I don’t think you sound like a bridezilla at all!
Post # 11
Thanks Bees. I’ve added a little more direction as to what I want. I’d love them all to be in the sme dress but they all have very different body shapes – I just want them to be comfortable.
You can all were the same dress or you can all wear different dresses. The style you choose is up to you but when looking at dresses please could you look out for the following:
Dresses that cover your chest. One shoulder and halter neck dresses are fine, but no strapless please.
Dresses that are available in either shades “burgundy” or Claret”. You can see the shades the dress come in once you selected the dress on the site. I’m yet to decide on these shades – so input on those two colours are appreciated.
Lastly, the length of the dress really doesn’t matter to me, as long as you’re comfortable. It is your choice completely but I would prefer you to have long length – It’s going to be December in Scotland 😉
Post # 12
@waddle: One thing, are your BMs on facebook? Mine are and I asked around here and they suggested I make a bridal party facebook group. I did and it came in real handy. Like others said the email may get archived. I was 2000 miles away from my BMs so it helped and it tells you in the group who saw the message. And the group can be private as well.
Another suggestion, convertible dresses ordered to their specific measurements from Etsy. I had the girls do this as I knew it could be difficult for them to get to a shop to try on dresses etc. I didn’t want to worry about girls not ordering their dress on time and have a last minute nightmare the seller I choose was very accomodating. Also there were no alterations saving them much money and 3 of 4 will wear the dress again. The seller was super flexible and put up with me for a whole year lol.
I say this because like you I wanted a certain shade and length and like you I told them no strapless this will be in a church. One girl still at the last minute was told by my teenaged BMs to cover up a bit more and solved that problem for me lol but if your girls are busty their girls might still be out so you might want to be more specific or send inspiration pics that show no clevage.