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Is this too close?

posted 1 year ago in Proposals
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    1.
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    wbee      

    Guys, well more than likely gals, need your views on something.

    My girlfriends sister is getting married in just over 6 weeks. Is it too close to her wedding to ask my girlfriend to marry me?

    I had planned to do this 8 weeks ago on a weekend away but events out of our control meant we had to cancel the weekend and so me cancel the proposal. I could easily do it and, if she wanted, not say anything to anyone until after the wedding, if she could hold it in. The only problem with that is I wanted to talk to her father beforehand; not for permission as such but more for his blessing. I know rightly he would let it slip before the sisters wedding if he was told to keep quiet so thats not an option. I dont want to take the shine of the sisters wedding at all but I still want to propose soon having already put it off once.

     
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    noritake22    March 31, 2011   Seattle

    I don't think it is too soon at all. How close are the sisters? Can you ask the sister that is getting married if she would mind? I would hate to see a proposal held up because of someone elses wedding. Just don't propose to her at her sister's wedding and you should be fine :-)

     
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    twalila    May 2010   Ohio

    I got engaged 4 weeks before my best friend's wedding (where I was the MOH), and I don't think anyone thought it was too close or any sort of problem.  Of course it may be different since they're in the same family, but as long as you don't think your gf is going to blow off responsibilities or excitement for her sister's approaching wedding I think it's fine.

     
    4.
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    wbee      

    Hmmm, don't think I would like to ask the sister, wouldn't like anyone else to know apart from her father, and her mother if he tells her :)

    There's no danger of her blowing off responsibilities; i wouldn't even be talking about dates, etc, if anyone asks in her sisters company as it could take the shine off the upcoming wedding.

    No danger of doing it at the wedding, I would be shot! 

     
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    afbacher    January 8, 2011   Kansas City, Missouri

    It would be fine. If someone brings up the wedding dates or anything, just say "(fiance) is busy helping (siser), so we'll figure things out a bit later - one wedding at a time" kinda thing. You shouldn't have a problem with just the engagement.

     
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    flutterbi    June 30, 2012  

    I would say go for it! You're also going to be sparing everyone at the wedding from asking her (and you) when will you guys be getting engaged. I'm sure she'll be excited to have that great piece of jewelry to wear for the wedding and everyone can enjoy the sisters wedding and know they will have yours to look forward to. IMO, it would be really selfish of her sister to get upset about you and your girl getting engaged 6 weeks before the wedding - you are not stealing her day in any way!

    Good luck with your proposal!!

     
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    Mrs.KMM    July 17, 2010   Atlanta, GA (wedding in Indianapolis, IN)

    I say you'd be fine!  Contrary to some people's belief, brides get ONE day.  So as long as you don't propose on the wedding day (which it sounds like you have no intention of doing) you should be fine!  Good luck!

     
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    cardigan    January 7, 2011   Austin, TX

    I think it's perfectly fine. Brides get one day, not a week, or a month. There's no reason that he sister should be upset if you propose now!

     
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    kericita    May 12, 2012   Dallas, TX

    I think it's fine.  If the sister gets mad then she really needs to grow up.  It won't take anything away from the wedding day at all.  Like others said, the bride gets 1 day, not a week or a month. 

     
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    sjones724    07/03/10   Frederick MD

    It should be fine, but like others have said, if you think it could be an issue ask the sister, i doubt she would say no becuase thats just childish and that you would have gotten her "ok" just in case she would of had a problem without you asking.

     
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    monitajb    July 17, 2010   Sacramento

    No, you're fine, do it soon. But I do really like afbacher's suggestion, deflect questions about your wedding by saying "one wedding at a time." If the two of you have a united front on this and let the sister know you aren't going to do any planning until after her wedding, all feelings will be spared. Just stick to it! Enjoy the glow of the engagement, no need to rush to plan.

     
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    camrie    September 5, 2010   Louisville

    No I think you're fine. It would be different if it were a week or so before. Now is good because she'll have a chance to get some attention but by the time her sister's wedding rolls around it'll be "old news" so she won't steal her sister's thunder.

     
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    gabrielleelise1981    August 28, 2010   Portland, Maine

    6 weeks out is PLENTY of time, IMO. I don’t think anyone would view it as trying to “take away” her sister’s spotlight.

    And don’t worry too much about making the proposal “perfect” (i.e., it doesn’t have to be while you are on vacation, or at a fancy dinner, or anything like that). The fact that she loves you, and you love her, and are asking her will make it perfect!! Good luck, let us know how it goes! :)

     
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    MrsH1010       Chicago, IL

    i dont think it's too soon at all. i'm sure she would love it and the excitement over the wedding would die down by the time of the wedding.

     
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    futurediplomatswife    October 9, 2010   Washington, DC/Palo Alto, CA

    Go for it!  I fully agree that brides get only a day (or maaaaaaybe a weekend, depending), and not a month or a season.  I wouldn't propose AT her wedding, but otherwise I think you're in the clear!  Pre-congratulations!

     
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    sboston06    October 10, 2010   Boston area

    I would be thrilled if my sister got engaged 6 weeks before my wedding!  I think your GF's sister will be really happy for you both, and she might even like sharing the spotlight for a bit pre-wedding.  Just hold off on starting to plan til after her wedding.

     
    17.
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    wbee      

    Thanks everyone for your feedback, puts my mind at ease somewhat.

     
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    jesstagirl    February 20, 2010   Italy

    Go for it! It'll make her sisters wedding that much more exciting for both of you :) Congratulations!!

     
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    teamajax13    October 22, 2011   Charleston,sc

    yeah do it....soon.... its fine as of now..... i say in the next week or so....your fine babe

     
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    Gemstone    July 2011   Cincinnati

    Go for it! Sure, you wouldn't want to get married within a month of her sister, but an engagement is okay! Think how extra special her sister's wedding will be for you two. :) I think it's so sweet that you asked, though!

     
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    sweetpea1031    March 19, 2011  

    @ wbee- Oh my goodness, I am so excited for you two! And what a great guy you must be to go onto this site to seek advice in the hopes of avoiding a faux pas in her family! Way to go!

    I think 6 weeks is plenty of time away, you thoughtful and considerate man you! She will be thrilled and perhaps it could open up the opportunity for your soon-to-be-Fiancee and her sister to bond in pre-marital bliss! I think it is a "go" for sure! Congratulations, and please don't leave us hanging, let us know how you do it and how it goes! Are you nervous about asking her dad?

     
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    naangel55    June 20, 2009   Long Beach, CA

    I dont think its too soon at all.  Its not like you will get engaged at her wedding and take away from her night.  I think its really nice that you are so considerate of the other bride but I dont think you should worry.

     
    23.
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    jtsing      

    Go for it...you are ready, and like all other said, 6 weeks ahead of time is plenty in advance before the wedding!!

     
    24.
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    Melissabegins    December 12, 2009  

    ask her! maybe she is a waiting bee ;)

     
    25.
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    wbee      

    Hey all,

     

    sorry it took me to now to leave a reply. Well I did the deed, so to speak. She hadn't a clue at all and was in fact moaning the whole time beforehand because I made her walk up a mountain in the wrong footwear. The sore feet quickly disappeared replaced by many tears, ones of happiness. So you can guess she said yes.

     

    Thanks for all your comments.

     
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    mcnetn3    August 13, 2011   North Carolina

    Congrats! That's awesome, be sure to show her weddingbee so you both can join in the community!

     
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    brady3537    September 4, 2011  

    aww! :) congratulations!!!

     
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    mrsmaxitobe    October 14, 2011  

    @wbee:Hi to everyone who has left a comment advising my now fiance on his proposal!  :D  I have never used a site like this and not even sure if you all can read this....anyhow we are now happily engaged and my sister and family are delighted!  Thanks again and maybe i can seek advice from you on planning the big day. xxx

     
    29.
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    Scribbles    June 1, 2012   Auckland, New Zealand

    @mrsmaxitobe:

    I think you are very lucky to be getting married to such a thoughtful and considerate man!

     

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